Old songs are the best.
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Archive of entries posted on 17th September 2019
IMAO Time Machine: Is Your Baby Racist
Here’s one from 10 years ago today. — The Editors
I know what you’re thinking: “Holy crap! That’s one racist looking baby! Frankly, he has the dead behind the eyes look of sociopath! I just want to shake him and shout, ‘Judge people by the content of their character, not the color of their skin!'”
One of the biggest fears of new parents is that their baby is racist. It’s the number one reason babies are abandoned in dumpsters. And there are a number of signs:
SIGNS YOUR BABY IS RACIST
* Will only drink white milk.
* Cries when you turn up the gangster rap.
* Doesn’t like Spike Lee movies.
* Has no interest in supporting Barack Obama’s health care reform.
If you identify your baby as a racist, make sure to quiet it anytime it tries to make noise as you don’t want to be influenced by its racist babble. Find some sort of lockable cage to put the baby in and isolate it from all other babies (an attic or basement works best). If the baby cries, just respond with a sharp, “Shut up, racist!”
Remember what Smokey the Bear says: “Only you can prevent racist babies… from setting stuff on fire… or something.”
Yes, he was drunk, but the wisdom still stands.
That Link In The Sidebar…
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a link at the top of the right sidebar. It’s a link to make donations, one-time or recurring, to help out Harvey.
Harvey actually set that up for something else entirely some time back, totally unrelated to his retirement. However, we discovered it’s still active, and we decided to put it to some good use. And, just to be clear, Harvey had nothing to do with this part. He did not ask for it.
We added the link to the top of the right sidebar (or, on the mobile site, about half-way down the sidebar area). Again, you can make a one-time contribution, or you can make a monthly recurring contribution to Harvey. If you feel like chipping in a little to help Harvey with his current situation, it would be appreciated.
That’s all. Go on about your business.
Like a Snow Day, But Warmer
School children in several countries are being organized to skip in-class indoctrination about global warming this Friday to attend out-of-class indoctrination about global warming.
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio praised the “climate strike” on Twitter, writing: “We have ten years to save the planet. TEN YEARS.”
And just like that, the “You are all individuals” scene from Life of Brian was reclassified as a documentary.
Among the numerous things students won’t learn that day — except in the school of experience:
There is no absurdity so palpable but that it may be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to inculcate it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity.
— Arthur Schopenhauer
Straight Line of the Day: People Call Joe Biden Dumb, But He Isn’t as Stupid as…
At Least Mildred Got Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame
What Constitution Day would be complete without a glimpse at Liberals’ condescending ideas of voters?
Report: Elderly and Texans of Color Impacted by Repeal of Straight-Ticket Voting
KXAN | Aug. 29, 2019 | Phil PrazanA new report out of Austin Community College Thursday predicts 16 to 17% of Texas voters in November 2020 will not fill out their entire ballot. It’s a side effect of 2017’s House Bill 25 which repealed straight-ticket voting in the state. [Voters will no longer be able] to automatically select all members of a certain political party on a given ballot.
This will impact older people and people of color the most, according to the report.
The analysis came out of ACC’s Center for Public Policy and Political Studies. Peck Young heads the center and says voters will just get tired around judicial races.
“They’re used to walking in there and going, just a minute Mildred, (motions to punching a voting machine). I voted. Let’s go get some coffee. Now they’re going to be sitting in there going “oh wow – how many of these blooming people are there?” said Young.
No word on what Peck Young imagines people of color saying in the voting booth.
Happy Constitution Day!
Probably every schoolchild before the current generation knew better than to make the mistake of calling the U.S. a democracy.
“Republic. I like the sound of the word. It means people can live free, talk free, go or come, buy or sell, be drunk or sober, however they choose. Some words give you a feeling. Republic is one of those words that makes me tight in the throat — the same tightness a man gets when his baby takes his first step or his first baby shaves and makes his first sound as a man. Some words can give you a feeling that makes your heart warm. Republic is one of those words.”
— John Wayne as Col. Davy Crockett in The Alamo (1960)
The U. S. Constitution
On this day in 1787, in Philadelphia, the greatest document written in the last several centuries was completed.
What began as a rewrite of the Articles of Confederation became the Constitution of the United States.
It’s a document that guarantees our liberties. It lays out the duties and responsibilities of the three branches of our federal government, and it establishes the relationship between the states. And, as amended, it establishes the rights guaranteed to the individuals on which the government may not infringe.
I am of the camp that feels that not enough people have read the Constitution — including many who have sworn to uphold and defend the Constitution.
At the conclusion of the Constitutional Convention, delegate Benjamin Franklin (the dude on the $100 bill, for you on the left) was asked, “What have we got—a Republic or a Monarchy?”
To which Franklin replied, “A Republic, if you can keep it.”
Go read the Constitution. Then make it your mission to help us keep a republic.