Link of the Day: Sadly, Not Satire

[Submitted by H. Stavis via Breitbart (High Praise!)]

9/11 Senate Hearing: No Mention of Radical Islam, Climate Change Is Major Threat

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Snopes Measures Light Wavelengths, Rates Trump’s Controversial “Sky Is Blue” Tweet As “Mostly False”

Depends on what you mean by “blue”. And “sky”. And what the meaning of the word of “is” is.

TACOMA (AP) – Ever the watchdog and vigilant guardian of printed truth on the internet, legendary fact-checking site Snopes.com has discovered and reported yet another gross inaccuracy coming from the deservedly-maligned and completely untrustworthy Trump administration. This time, President Trump has followed up his “#SharpieGate” assertion that Alabama could’ve been hit by a hurricane with an even less justifiable weather-related claim – that “the sky is blue”. Rigorous investigation by Snopes concludes that this questionable Trump assertion is “mostly false.”

According to Rajesh Koothrappali, Assistant Lead Prevaricator Preventer at Snopes, Trump’s trip-up was “an easy catch.”

“So Trump throws this tweet out there like it’s a fait accompli and just expects that no one will question it,” said Koothrappali. “But knowing how completely untrustworthy he is as a source, I decided to investigate the matter myself. I looked up at the sky, and it did, indeed look blue. Since that didn’t support my narrative, I decided to get to the bottom of it using unimpeachable facts and logic, so I Googled up the Wikipedia page, which described Trump’s ‘sky is blue’ statement as ‘challengeable.'”

“And indeed it is,” said Koothrappali triumphantly. “Consider this – for fully half the day, it’s night. So for half the planet, half the day, the sky is black. With cute little twinkles. And during the daylight parts of the day, it might be cloudy, so the sky is gray. During sunrises and sunsets, it’s often shades of red or orange. So you can clearly see that the sky is NOT blue, more than half of each day.”

“But even when it IS blue, is it REALLY?” questioned Koothrappali. “A little more research shows that it is NOT. A color is only truly blue if the wavelength of its light is between 450 and 495 nanometers. A spectrographic analysis of Trump’s so-called ‘blue’ sky shows that it is actually an impure mixture of many wavelengths, with a large percentage of them being either less than 450 nm or greater than 495. To call the sky ‘blue’ is a gross oversimplification of a very complex interaction of electromagnetic radiation. Anyone who would call the sky ‘blue’ is either a simpleton or a charlatan.”

“In conclusion,” Koothrappali declared, “while a ray of blue light might occasionally reach an eye unaided by instruments and detectors, it’s a very rare occurrence, and people’s unquestioning belief in the sky’s dominant color is the result of urban-legend saturation, most likely caused by watching too many Pixar movies. Therefore, we are forced to rate President Trump’s claim as ‘mostly false.'”

Koothrapppali also suggested that, although not yet conclusively rated, Trump’s “water is wet” tweet will likely also be shot down, since “wetness” is a tactile property of water, and the vast majority of the world’s ocean’s are not currently being touched by human beings, meaning that we have no scientific basis for determining the wetness of untouched water. Therefore, President On-Fire-Pants is just making stuff up.
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Random Thoughts: Commies and Taxes

Climate change is a bunch of rich people telling poor people how they have to make their lives worse so the rich people’s beachfront property doesn’t get messed up.

“Obama just spent $15 million on a new house in Martha’s Vineyard, so you guys need to stop eating hamburgers so nothing happens to it.”

I’m listening to the final version of Hellbender for Audible. You shall all have it soon.

Cool. Looks like Jack Ryan will be fighting socialists in season 2. As long as we’re doing retro 80s stuff, I want more battling commies!

*puts a grenade in a commie’s mouth and throws him off a roof*
“Let’s see your free health care handle this!”

This Joker sounds like an interesting fellow whom everyone should emulate.

Really enjoyed First Blood the novel, but it was way different character from Stallone’s Rambo. Now I’m curious to read the novelization’s of Rambo 2 and 3 since they’re from the same author and I’m wondering if he tries to make movie Rambo more like book Rambo.
I can’t find the review online, but I remember Ebert in his review of Rambo 2 being surprised they let a mass murderer out of prison. I’m thinking he got the book confused with the movie since Rambo only accidentally kills one person in the First Blood film.

Both the Republicans and Democrats don’t take climate change seriously. They just don’t take it seriously in different ways.

And I always found something about property tax unsettling, and it wasn’t until people said “We already pay a wealth tax on property!” that I understood exactly why that was.
Because of the property tax, you can be too poor to own property. If you don’t give the government what it demands, you lose it.

Me if I were a billionaire and there was a wealth tax: “Sorry, I lost my billions in a boating accident.”

You know the ancient Chinese saying: If you want to take people’s guns, you’re going to need a lot of guns.

Finally watched that Dave Chappelle Netflix special. It was very inappropriate. Felt bad a few times when I laughed.

If I were a billionaire, an indulgence I’d do would be that I’d be willing to spend up to $1000 to avoid paying $1 in taxes. Government is where money goes to die, and I want my money to go elsewhere to flourish and reproduce.

Know who was always saying “People need to pay their fair share!”?
Adolf Hitler.
Well, I don’t know if he actually said that; I don’t speak German and I don’t listen to a lot of Hitler speeches, but it sounds like something he’d say.

Some of the last great memories with my dad was watching Kellen Moore’s four years at Boise State (my dad was a season ticket holder). It makes me so happy to see his continued success since then.
He never thought Kellen Moore was going to make it in the pros. I wish my dad lived to see Kellen quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys (and now be their offensive coordinator). SarahK would have so shoved that in his face (he used to make fun of her Cowboys fandom).

You can’t confiscate guns, you sillies. We’ve always avoided registrations knowing that was the first step to confiscation. So there are no records of any guns. If a “mandatory buyback” of AR-15s has greater than 5% compliance, I’d be surprised.

On my first day as president, I will sign an executive order dissolving the Senate and then begin construction of my Death Star.

There are unprincipled conservatives who went all in for Trump and unprincipled conservatives who went all in against Trump and then there are we principled conservatives who just sit around being fairly useless and ignored.

“Your freedom to swing your fist ends when I get scared about you having the freedom to swing your fist.”

My 3yo always yells threats at the moon when she sees it like a common Buzz Aldrin.

I’m a little surprised how well Hellbender has done. It’s such a weird book. I was bracing for it to take a beating in reviews while just a select few really liked it, but so far it’s 25 reviews, 23 of them 5 star.
I had been delaying it’s release as I didn’t even know how to market it or describe the plot. Finally, I was just like we got to do this. I think having the cover by Ethan Nicolle helped. It looked like it possibly could be a good book. Maybe that would fool some people.
But people actually liked it. That’s cool. Well, the Audible version is coming soon and is really really good and I’m already started on a sequel which I had planned out but was half convinced I’d never do since no one was going to like the first.

I just read a Max Boot column and he opposes Trump and won’t vote for the GOP!!!

Are all the Democratic candidates really for abortion on demand at 39 weeks? That’s insanely evil. The average Ku Klux Klan member gets to look down on people who hold that position.
It’s hard to believe anyone isn’t horrified by that prospect. I would think that the candidates are just too much of moral cowards to say what they actually believe.

The fastest way to identify a fascist is laughter. Fascists find things funny. Non-fascists are constantly too upset by injustice to ever even smile.

I remember when we moved to New Jersey (back in ’88) my dad tried to register the handguns he brought, but the sheriff said not to bother. Because really, someone who will voluntarily report his guns is not someone to worry about.
I also remember my dad having to go to Pennsylvania to get an air rifle because it was just too difficult to get one in NJ.

A good marketing idea for a comedian may be to pay SJWs to denounce his comedy special.
“I saw it, and I’m literally shaking.”

My advice for comedy: Punch down. And punch down so hard they can’t get up to complain.

Watching John Wick 3. I love all the world building they have around the action.
And that scene where John Wick puts together an antique gun from different parts and listens carefully as he revolves the cylinder has to be an homage to Tuco doing the same thing in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (such a great scene).