This is from 10 years ago this week. — The Editors
I’m thinking that today a lot of people these days don’t know how to properly spot racists. “That’s easy!” some will say, “Just look for white people!” Incorrect! Racists come in all shapes and sizes (except for octagon and venti). Here is what to look for:
* Racists eyes are quite shifty, always darting about looking for things to be racist about.
* If asked a question, a racist will look up and to the left when thinking of a response since the left part of the brains is where racists thoughts come from.
* Racists are constantly drinking water as racism makes you easily dehydrated.
* Racists are scared of fire.
* Racists like shiny things and will often have a cache of them in their burrow.
* Racists often have leg cramps as they don’t get a proper amount of potassium.
* Racist will bite if angered.
If bitten by a racist, make sure to clean the wound thoroughly. Then subject yourself to people of other racists to see if you start to become angry — a sure sign you have now been infected with racism! If you show signs of racism, get to your doctor immediately.
Thanks for this hilarious article. Best laugh I have had all day. And even crazier, it is ALL true. Thank you Frank J. 🙂
If you’re like me & tell people you’re not interested in a “national conversation on race” because you don’t think America is an inherently racist country & really don’t want to waste your time on things you couldn’t care less about, well then … You’re probably a racist!
I’m not interested in a “national conversation on race” because it’s really hard to tell what people are saying when there’s 300 million of them talking at once. Also, I don’t think I can shout loud enough to be heard in coastal cities for very long at a time.
She sells Michelles at the seashore.
.
Converse to our nation
Is a “national conversation.”
Some talk louder;
Some save their powder.
It’s still an Obama nation.
Also, ask them to define their idea of “conversation” before you begin.
I hate how they redefined “conversation” as “Yelling at someone”.
Ahhh, 10 years ago, a more confusing time.
It is a lot easier to tell a racist these days.
Did you vote for Trump?
Do you support Trump?
Are you a Trump? (Donald, jr., Barron, etc.)
If you answer yes to any of those questions, you are a racist, nazi, white supremacist.
Even easier than that.
“Do you disagree with me?”
“Then you’re a racist.”
Criticizing my comment?
RACIST!!!!!!!!!
I was going to go with sexist myself.