Eventually they’ll show all of Mr. Wizards experiments were faked and then all trust in science will collapse.
For something that’s pointless trivia to 99.9% of the population, we sure spend a lot of time arguing about evolution.
The two main sides of the evolution debate are people who don’t understand it and don’t believe in it and people who don’t understand it and believe in it.
I’m so smart it’s technically a superpower.
I’d never thought of the evolution debate that way. So can we attempt to teach high-schoolers amusing little tidbits about it?
When I think of the concept of bacteria evolving fast enough that we could watch them do it in our own lifetimes, all I can say is “MRSA-full heavens!”
Some other species seem to be immune to evolution, primarily because they’re just too darn good at what they do. Sharks are one such species. Cats are another.
Some atheists seem to think that evolution exists to put God out of a job. Most Christians don’t seem to view God’s “job” as explaining away gaps in our scientific knowledge…
You only look smart because your readers are a lot of drunken half-wits!
You only look smart because your readers (ussjimmycarter) are a lot of drunken half-wits!
MRSA-ful heavens….. I wish I’d thought of that.
Scientists! found that 3/4 of all IMAO readers experience the DTs whenever they stop reading IMAO for less than an hour!
Cats? Good at what they do? Cats are like cows; they’ve found a human niche in which to hide. In my belly! And sharks could obviously evolve lasers which would extinct all the other sharks that merely emit incoherent light.
According to my wife, I’m a drunken dim-wit! Who’s smarter, a half-wit or a dim-wit?
I’m not sure, Conservatarian, but I know if you’re posting here, you’re obviously a fool!
And I pity you just like I pity me!
MarkO I disagree. I believe that all the readers here at IMAO are deep thinking intellectuals. We have strong beliefs and good moral centers and while we are intelligent enough to make solid cognitive arguments for our positions we are not dogmatic to the point where we automatically dismiss those that disagree with us.
In fact, I believe that in the end we….SQUIRREL!
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Congrats to Capitalist_B who, unlike most others here, is capable of recognizing blatantly obvious perfection of cats.
Evolution, I understand it and don’t believe in it! The Cambrian Explosion kind of makes Darwin’s “Tree of Life” totally ghey. This is pretty much the basis for his “theory” so it would seem to fall apart after that.
And, I am NOT descended from an APE! I am created in the image of GOD!
I’m currently studying String Theory. If it is true, everything is composed of these strings. They are so small that if we blew an atom up to the size of the Universe a string would be the size of an average tree. But scientists think that they exist and are the basic building material for everything in the Universe. The only difference between how things are built is how the strings resonate. Now that is cool stuff and would seem to indicate a level of “intelligent design” in my book!!! Of course they also think aliens are going to wipe us out because we are causing Global Warming…sigh…
Like most people, I believe that Xenu is responsible for our evolution. After Incident II, 75 million years ago, when the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy brought millions of people to Earth and killed them in volcanoes with hydrogen bombs, the spirits of those people, in conjunction with R6 implants, have helped to shape our destiny. Look it up…I’m pretty sure it’s in the bible.
Pingback: Old Earth, New Earth… or Fantastic Story Telling?
FormerHostage: For the record, I come here (figuratively) for the intellectually based sophomoric humor.
DamnCat…Ok, I have three Ragdoll cats! Two females and one male. My male is 35 to 49 pounds. They found a mouse last night and spent the whole night playing with it until we got up and finally saw it in the corner and caught it and put it outside.
Aren’t cats suppose to like kill and eat mice and stuff? Are my cats retards or what?
USSJC, I am really starting to doubt evolution from your confessions over the last few weeks.
1. You host cats at your residence
2. Your residence is in (ahem) Minnesota
3. You host cats at your residence
4. Your residence is in Minnesota
5. Your cats live in Minnesota
Minnesota is infested with squirrels and Norwegians. Therefore we must doubt evolution.
@ussjimmycarter
I’m sure you provide your cats with plentiful sustenance more flavorful than the wholly unappetizing mouse. Therefore, their interest in said vermin is not professional – merely sporting. They would have gotten around to the killing. But it would be gauche to simply nom his head off at the first catch. No, these simple pleasures must be savored – particularly when shared with friends.
I’m afraid your cats will consider you a bit of a spoil-sport for having interrupted their fun. I suggest you make amends with a sincere apology and tuna.
It occurs to me that maybe Frank should have written Evolution! in analogy to Science! as there’s also that talking-past-each-other issue that just as with ‘Science! says’ we don’t want our kids to blindly learn Evolution!
The Bible predicts stuff and it happens.
Science predicts an Ice age and when it doesn’t happen they predict global warming which doesn’t happen either.
Just sayin.
#1 – Capitalist B,
I guess I missed the joke.
What does MRSA mean?
It has something to do with science, right?
#12 – Son of Bob,
Everything I know about Scientology, I learned from old episodes of South Park, and that’s enough for me!
“Darwinism can be used to back up two mad moralities, but it cannot be used to back up a single sane one. The kinship and competition of all living creatures can be used as a reason for being insanely cruel or insanely sentimental; but not for a healthy love of animals. On the evolutionary basis you may be inhumane, or may be absurdly humane; but you cannot be human. That you and a tiger are one may be a reason for being tender to a tiger. Or it may be a reason for being as cruel as the tiger. It is one way to train the tiger to imitate you, it is a shorter way to imitate the tiger. But in neither case does evolution tell you how to treat a tiger reasonably, that is, to admire his stripes while avoiding his claws.”
– G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy.
MRSA is Methicillin-resistant (or multiple-resistant) Staphylococcus aureus, a nasty bacteria that resists several common antibiotics and has thrived through one of the oldest tricks of survival: not getting killed. It is given as incontrovertible proof that all currently existing life evolved from bacteria over the past billion years.
So, doctors have been trying to kill this bug so hard for so long that it’s now hard to kill and that proves we all evolved from bacteria?
When the bug climbs out of the petri dish, rubs 2 little sticks together and starts a fire that torches the research lab, then I’ll be convinced!