There was a bunch of fear yesterday when the earthquake hit northern Virginia near Washington, D.C.
In fact, when Wall Street heard about the earthquake, the Dow rose over 300 points. Which says a lot about the economy. When there’s a chance that something will stop Obama and the Democrats, the market goes up.
There were reports that the Washington Monument was tilting, but that was not true. Washington politicians, though, were found to be crooked, but it’s too early to tell if the earthquake is to blame.
But the earthquake did do some isolated but terrible damage: it interrupted Obama on the golf course and made him miss a putt. Really.
So, despite early fears, the earthquake did little overall damage. Unlike Barack Obama and a Democrat-controlled Congress. Their damage is still being assessed.
Anyway, you don’t normally hear about earthquakes in that region as happened yesterday. Most earthquakes are in Japan, California, or other places foreign to America. Why on earth (or under earth) did one occur where it did?
I dunno.
Some people — mostly scientists — will tell you that earthquakes are caused by the plates of the earth moving in different directions or at different speeds, building pressure, and suddenly releasing, but I think they’re making it up as they go along. We need to find out what causes earthquakes, then stop them. Or use them to our advantage, like Gene Hackman tried to do in that Superman
So, what causes earthquakes? Or, failing that, what caused yesterday’s earthquake?
Here are the leading candidates:
- Global warming causes them.
- Global cooling.
- Witches.
- Maybe it’s the Tea Party. They caused everything else that’s wrong, so perhaps it’s them that caused all the devastation yesterday.
- George Bush.
- More witches.
- The Titans bowling. Or maybe that’s thunder.
- The Titans dropping their bowling ball.
Maybe it is the whole tectonic plates thing. Or maybe Teutonic plates. Probably so. I never did trust the Germans.
Seen on Facebook:
It has just been determined that yesterday’s 5.9 earthquake centered in Virginia has been positively linked to our Founding Fathers rolling over in their graves.
God hath smoted DC! I’m not certain for what particular offense but I’m pretty sure that all 10 commandments are broken on a pretty regular basis (like every minute) by some legislator! This was their first warning shot across the bow…
One can only hope it was a pre-shock. Plus, the epicenter needs work.
But there are more candidates:
♦ Sarah Palin is coming to D.C. and she’s stomping mad.
♦ Michael Moore fell out of bed.
♦ Al Gore fell out of bed.
♦ In a strange coincidence, both Michael Moore and Al Gore fell out of bed at the same instant.
Witches caused the earthquake? You mean Christine O’Donnell did it? Cool! Did she talk about it in her book first, or was this her storming out of another interview?
Why is everyone freaking out about an earthquake in DC. Everyone knew it was going to happen. Obama has been talking about Bush’s Fault for years now!
I don’t see how this could affect Obama’s golf score, he uses Timmy G- mathematics.
Hugh Akston:
I didn’t say it affected his score, just his putting.
“…when Wall Street heard about the earthquake, the Dow rose over 300 points.”
When the current elected “representatives” run fleeing from DC, the economy turns around…no brainer.
The earthquake was not God’s judgement. No way. Congress and POTUS were out of town. No one to judge.
I find it fascinating that some on the Left-Coast feel the need to mock the publics fear concerning this earthquake. After all there hadn’t been in recent or long term history this kind of event. The structures, roads, dams, bridges are not built the same as they are in areas where rockin’ and rollin’ is done on an almost daily basis. On the east coast we are prepared for hurricanes and most of us evacuate or during the season have sufficient supplies to deal with the event should it land in our area. Too bad LA doesn’t get a rogue hurricane. Let’s see how the disaster diva’s deal with that. Or may a blizzard or two, that would be fun.
If the people on the east coast had done nothing the media and nay sayers would be whining that they didn’t take it seriously enough. From where I’m sitting though, I’m not sure I’d be mocking anyone anywhere. Seems to me God’s getting throughly pissed off at everybody and while he said he wouldn’t flood the earth again, he never said anything about not shaking it apart or purifying it by fire.
Enduring to the end may not take as long as I was afraid of.
Duh! It was centered on Bush’s Fault.
Bush used the military’s earthquake machine to hit other countries with (I remember lefties saying so) . Now Obama has gotten hold of it and is hitting America with it.
Sadly I spilled a drink due to the earthquake here in northwest GA. If Al Gore and Mike Moore are to blame for this it just gives me one more reason to loath them…(as if I needed more reasons)
Never set your drink down on the table and leave it in the whims of earthquakes. Always, keep your drink in your hands so if it spills you know who to blame. ‘Ron Paul’