“Hey Noah how are we supposed to catch any fish to eat with just two worms?🪱
This ain’t gonna be just a three hour tour is it?” 😩
Noah: “Use your head son there’s more worms in the apples.”
Noah to sons: “Shem, you’re the dumbest of “My Three Sons”….wait, I think I could write a play about that…anyway those two worms you were using weren’t worms..they are baby diamondback rattlesnakes you fool. You guys are nothing but Three Stooges… wait, I’m having another brainstorm moment”
Shem:
“Hey dad are we soup yet?!”
Noah:
“Just about son and it’s too bad if you don’t like boiled animal testicles I took one from each male animal.” Yummy.😋
Shem:
“Hey dad you’re 600 years old now and it took you 100 years to build the ark you must be sick of this crap.”
Noah:
“Arabian Coffee my son…I wouldn’t have survived without it. God is good…wait, I must be getting dementia didn’t he kill my dad Lamech?”
GOT DRAMAMINE? 🤢
“Who farted?”
Who’s in charge of shoveling the 💩?
…”Can you point me towards the lido deck?”
…”Could you get me a suite a bit farther away from the hyenas?”
Why? You got no sense of humor?
…”Hey Noah, what’s the weather gonna be like?”
Ask the giraffes if they see that d@mn mountain yet.
Have you seen my husband, IIgor, he’s the one with two humps?
How come rabbit is the entree every night?
About that shark tank, OCD much?
“Has anyone seen our waiter?”
Is there any more unicorn brisket left?
“Hey Noah how are we supposed to catch any fish to eat with just two worms?🪱
This ain’t gonna be just a three hour tour is it?” 😩
Noah: “Use your head son there’s more worms in the apples.”
Noah to sons: “Shem, you’re the dumbest of “My Three Sons”….wait, I think I could write a play about that…anyway those two worms you were using weren’t worms..they are baby diamondback rattlesnakes you fool. You guys are nothing but Three Stooges… wait, I’m having another brainstorm moment”
Boarding day:
“Uhh, Dad? We’re all out of rooms for ducks, and otters. Where should I put them?”
“Just chuck em in with the beavers.”
Disembarking day:
“Uhh, Dad? I don’t remember checking that in. What in the heck is that?”
“That’s a platypus, son”
Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?
What’s a cubit?
Right!
“Hey, someone tell the ram, ewe, bull & cow we’re out of lamb & veal at the buffet again.”
Bull: When I get outta here we’re moving to India and starting a cult.
Common question – What will happen if the elephants and the rhinos get a bit too friendly?
Typical answer – Eleph-ino.
If the Rhinos and the Elephants get too friendly the Overton window shifts ever further to the left.
Ergo, you end up with a bunch of jackasses.
Are we there yet?
Dang, you beat me to it.
Shem:
“Hey dad are we soup yet?!”
Noah:
“Just about son and it’s too bad if you don’t like boiled animal testicles I took one from each male animal.” Yummy.😋
Shem:
“Hey dad you’re 600 years old now and it took you 100 years to build the ark you must be sick of this crap.”
Noah:
“Arabian Coffee my son…I wouldn’t have survived without it. God is good…wait, I must be getting dementia didn’t he kill my dad Lamech?”
“Wasn’t there only supposed to be two rabbits?”
“We didn’t really need two mosquitoes, did we?”
Noah:
“Shem, I told you to forget about bringing two termites on board…YOU IDIOT!”
Ship’s log – Day 39: Roasted Unicorn is delicious!
Hey Shem, where’s my flea collar?
Why does Noah keep going to the bow of the ship shouting “I’m king of the world!”?
Shem:
“Hey dad, could you ask God how to turn some of this water into wine.”🍷
Noah:
“See that big fat pig 🐖 over there? God told me to name it Hillary but I don’t know why.”