In high school I once lit mine with one of those little hand held propane torches and didn’t even have to google it because there was no google then of course..I depended on my own ability to think for myself.
I even googled that once too.
But once the lighting farts thing got around to people it ruined my popularity and reputation and i was voted “Most likely to end up living under a bridge..or something.”
Instead of consulting a magic 8-ball, celebrities overdose on one.
Instead of merely contacting the spirits of the dead via Ouiji boards, you get to curse at them, haunt them, tease them, and jauntily accuse them of being racist for being beyond the pale.
I can put up with a Pale Rider but that’s about it.
Question for Ouija Board:
“Should all Dimocrat members of Congress be required to form a human shield around our troops?”
Ouija Board: “Damn, what a good idea. I was going to send an evil spirit that looks Hillary your way but I will spare you this one time.”
… the correct usage of the Oxford Comma…
…Christianity for dummies…
…how to outsmart an Emu…
Does farting burn calories? Do penguins have knees? And is the world flat?
Also, is the Tooth Fairy real?
That’s about it but I could have left something out. I wish I could google if I left anything out but that would be kinda freaky weird.
Farting does burn calories if you do it in front of a candle
In high school I once lit mine with one of those little hand held propane torches and didn’t even have to google it because there was no google then of course..I depended on my own ability to think for myself.
With a Bunsen burner you’d burn your bun, son.
I even googled that once too.
But once the lighting farts thing got around to people it ruined my popularity and reputation and i was voted “Most likely to end up living under a bridge..or something.”
“Most Likely To End Up Posting on IMAO”
Talk about your “null set”, or is that “dull set”, I always get those confused…
…just where is Albuquerque, anyway?
…and Hoboken, for that matter?
All you have to do is remember that Santa Fe is only 90 miles away.
…I keep typing in “prawn”, but all I find are tiny crustaceans – what am I missing?
Try “Shrimp on Barbie.”
Things You Don’t Want To Show Up on Your Search History: …
Wainscotting.
Is Karoline Leavitt married?
Is Maxine Waters part or full Mandingo?
full Womandingobat
Garth and Wayne from ‘Wayne’s World’:
Eeeeexxxcellllent!
. . . checking Mensa membership rolls for the name Ketanji Brown Jackson
. . . searching for a humorous response for SLotD. Haven’t been successful yet!
. . . asking when to expect the Spanish inquisition
. . . have either Algore or aoc updated their predictions on when the world will end
. . . why are movies about penguins filmed in color (unless it has Burgess Meredith in it of course)
Are penguins practically chickens?
Am I, Gene, the sexiest man alive?
Magic 8 Ball says… no.
Reply hazy, try again
Don’t listen to him — he’s using the original Oigene Board ™.
Hey Bro..it’s by Hasbro!
I’m waiting for their Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Reboots:
Instead of consulting a magic 8-ball, celebrities overdose on one.
Instead of merely contacting the spirits of the dead via Ouiji boards, you get to curse at them, haunt them, tease them, and jauntily accuse them of being racist for being beyond the pale.
I can put up with a Pale Rider but that’s about it.
Question for Ouija Board:
“Should all Dimocrat members of Congress be required to form a human shield around our troops?”
Ouija Board: “Damn, what a good idea. I was going to send an evil spirit that looks Hillary your way but I will spare you this one time.”