* F’rinstance, you crash a bottle over someone’s head in a movie, and he’s slowed down or knocked out. You do it in real life, you may kill them. (Especially champagne bottles.)
31 Comments
Pretty sure I know where this is leading and I’m sick and tired of having to defend Mongo. He really did actually punch that horse out.
They whole heartedly lied to us when they said Bond actually made love to his women on set when everyone and their grannies know darn well it was after or before the set.
Hold on guys. They’re using an air-gapped vaulted mainframe with a dual reverse encrypted CyberNext firewall. I’m going to need someone to plug this USB into main lobby elevator service port.
Now that I have you in my clutches, it’s super important to me to explain to you how brilliant my plan is. Your opinion of my plan is valuable to me, and you’re going to be dead in a moment.
Wow, Brooke. 12 years on a deserted island without a hair dryer and a Pilates instructor sure did wonders for you. Looking at ya now…I’m thinking maybe you should go back for a bit.
Nail clipper sets can be used to unlock any door on Earth within seconds. If the hero forgets nail clippers, it is just as effective to use a credit card.
Everything, if the credits say written by Al Gore or Michael Moore.
Frightened teenagers running at breakneck speeds cannot outrun a murderous monster who is shambling along more slowly than a postal employee. While carrying a chainsaw.
You’re the new fish. The thieves, murders, and rapists around here are not going to respect you until you pick the biggest m-fer in here and punch in him the face.
If you’re a smoke show, punching a board a few times and running up a hill in a 30 second montage will make you better, faster, and stronger than anyone who lists “professional assassin” as a job title on their resume.
Heck if anyone raises an eyebrow I’ll just say it’s an abbreviation of Professional Assistant, and then I’ll glare at them and slowly reach for something under my lapel.
If a bad guy’s holding you at gunpoint and he really, REALLY wants you to know he means business, he’ll rack the slide of his gun, thereby loading a bullet in the chamber and making it capable of firing.
Pretty sure I know where this is leading and I’m sick and tired of having to defend Mongo. He really did actually punch that horse out.
True…yet he had a definite weakness for candy.
A head butt is always the best option…
A nearby explosion merely tosses you around a little bit…
That you can be an international spy/mercenary/assassin for decades and not have trashed knees, shoulders and back.
That being a copy repair man or pizza delivery guy often leads to intimate trysts.
That if you do the right things and have a good heart, you will live happily ever after.
Similarly, justice is fair and will be served.
They whole heartedly lied to us when they said Bond actually made love to his women on set when everyone and their grannies know darn well it was after or before the set.
It’s easy to fool alien technology…
To prove you are not a human, select all the squares with flying saucers.
Rush hour traffic is incredibly easy to negotiate during a high-speed chase…
Hold on guys. They’re using an air-gapped vaulted mainframe with a dual reverse encrypted CyberNext firewall. I’m going to need someone to plug this USB into main lobby elevator service port.
;oisdG;li asdlkjhasdg;jkhkjasdg;kjhk;jhsdgkjh;kjhdsfkjhsfhfhfhlsdf;kjhasdf;jkuhasfdoijhjjfj
Nevermind. I’m in.
“Why are these armed assailants engaging me in hand-to-hand combat one at a time?”
Maybe we do need the stinking badges?
If only the jock knew what the nerdy girl looked like without her glasses….
Now that I have you in my clutches, it’s super important to me to explain to you how brilliant my plan is. Your opinion of my plan is valuable to me, and you’re going to be dead in a moment.
We’re not so different, you and I. Oh, and just so you know, it was me who killed whoever you are revenging.
The price of Raisinets.
Wow, Brooke. 12 years on a deserted island without a hair dryer and a Pilates instructor sure did wonders for you. Looking at ya now…I’m thinking maybe you should go back for a bit.
Nail clipper sets can be used to unlock any door on Earth within seconds. If the hero forgets nail clippers, it is just as effective to use a credit card.
Everything, if the credits say written by Al Gore or Michael Moore.
Frightened teenagers running at breakneck speeds cannot outrun a murderous monster who is shambling along more slowly than a postal employee. While carrying a chainsaw.
What? Double secret probation isn’t real?
You’re the new fish. The thieves, murders, and rapists around here are not going to respect you until you pick the biggest m-fer in here and punch in him the face.
::punches self in face::
Get out of my cell.
They didn’t really need a bigger boat. They just needed to boop it on the nose and flip it on its back. It’s called tonic immobility…
Shooting and shattering car windows without affecting the people behind them is super easy; barely an inconvenience.
The best way to maintain the front end alignment of a vintage muscle car is to jump it over a train during a high speed chase.
If you’re a smoke show, punching a board a few times and running up a hill in a 30 second montage will make you better, faster, and stronger than anyone who lists “professional assassin” as a job title on their resume.
Well, if you’re passing out resumes with “professional assassin” on it, she is at least smarter.
Heck if anyone raises an eyebrow I’ll just say it’s an abbreviation of Professional Assistant, and then I’ll glare at them and slowly reach for something under my lapel.
If a bad guy’s holding you at gunpoint and he really, REALLY wants you to know he means business, he’ll rack the slide of his gun, thereby loading a bullet in the chamber and making it capable of firing.
If he’s really not horsing around he’ll chuck a quarter in the air, fire two shots, and two dimes and a nickel will land at your feet.
You can stand without ear protection near a jet taking off, and hear perfectly well now and forever after.
If you’re holding someone at gunpoint, it’s not polite to fire while they’re pointing out that someone behind you already has you covered.