Most of your questions sent in to Ask IMAO Anything were already answered. The crack team that provided the answers included:

• Bob in Feenicks
• tankdemon
• walruskkkch
• CLIFFY
• Harvey

Bacon to you one and all!

Now for the questions that were not answered.

Harvey: Is the number 7 really lucky, or is it just centuries of confirmation bias?

Confirmation bias. One should not believe in lucky numbers or any other superstition. Believing in any kind of superstition is bad luck.

veeshir: Hey! My question was not answered, the ‘reply’ was a question not an answer!

Let’s take a look at that one, okay?

veeshir: How much longer can our fine media betters keep pretending the Democratic party is not a danger to Americans?

walruskkkch: How long ya got?

Well, I don’t see how the answer could be improved upon. Time is relative. So, “how long” would be a relative question. If I only have a day left, then the answer of “they’ll always do that” only has meaning to me for a day. If I have 30 years, then the answer only has meaning to me for 30 years. So, the answer, though in the form of a question, is correct. Your question was answered.

veeshir: How much should I ask for in my lawsuit against IMAO for non-answering of questions?

I would demand a full refund.

veeshir: Follow up, can I shoehorn it into a mesothelioma or talc class action suit?

Possibly. For legal advice, see a lawyer. I hear Saul Goodman is taking cases.

slapout: How does Basil keep track of all his movies?

I do hope you aren’t expecting some fun or silly answer, because you ain’t getting that. You’re getting a real answer, in all its ugliness.

The answer depends on which movies you’re asking about. If you mean the links to movies posted at IMAO, often on Sunday nights, I really don’t keep up with those. Although I should.

If you mean music videos, which I often post at most nights at IMAO, I have a spreadsheet listing the artist, song title, date posted, and occasionally the YouTube link. I can sort by any of those values.

If you mean my personal movie collection, I have two spreadsheets. One is a listing of all movies in my library. It includes songs I purchased from iTunes, Amazon, VUDU, Fandango Now, Google Play, or Microsoft. Those are the services that are part of Movies Anywhere (I love that free service). I also have DVDs ripped into iTunes.

I have 1,156 iTunes purchases. That number includes 642 Movies Anywhere selections that are in all the services listed.

I have another 273 that are ripped from DVD. 12 of those are also in Amazon, one I have in Fandango Now, two in VUDU, and seven I have access to in Google Play because they are owned by family members who are sharing them in Google Play.

I have seven that are Amazon only (there are 751 total in my Amazon catalog, but that includes duplicates of movies that are also in iTunes or other services).

There’s one that’s only in Fandango Now, but that was an error on their end. Since 1981’s Arthur is part of Movies Anywhere, I’m supposed to also have that one in Fandango Now. But, they screwed up and game me the 2011 remake instead. I’ve asked them to remove it, but it seems to be too much trouble. I actually do not want that movie, and need to follow up on why they haven’t straightened it out yet.

I also have four movies that are in VUDU only, but they are variations of other movies I have. Director’s cut, or some other “special edition” with extras or something.

Anyway, I use a spreadsheet to keep up with the 1,452 movies in my library. I also have a spreadsheet of some Academy Award winning movies. It includes all the films that won:

• Best Picture
• Best Animated Feature,
• Director
• Actor
• Actress
• Supporting Actor
• Supporting Actress
• Original Screenplay
• Adapted Screenplay
• Best Story

The list also includes

• American Film Institute “100 Years, 100 Movies” (1998)
• American Film Institute “100 Years, 100 Movies, Tenth Anniversary” (2007)
• The AFI “Ten Top Ten” lists.

There are a total of 564 films in that listing, and I have 521 of them. My goal is to have them all. So, this spreadsheet isn’t actually a list of the films I have, but of the films that are in certain categories that are on my target list. I intend to have them, although a few are actually considered lost, so it’s a target that will never be met.

Now, aren’t you glad you asked?

Remember that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.

Most of your questions sent in to Ask IMAO Anything were already answered. The crack team that provided the answers included:

• tankdemon
• walruskkkch
• veeshir

Bacon to you one and all!

Now for the questions that were not answered.

Um.

Hmmm.

They were all answered. Every one of them. How about that.

So, I suppose I could tap-dance for a bit, huh.

Nope. Not happening.

So, what do we do? Well, actually, this isn’t a bad thing. I don’t have to come up with answers to questions, so it’s easier on me, right? Yep. I mean, y’all did a great job of answering questions, and that was fun. I enjoyed it.

So, here’s what we’ll do now. I’ll ask some questions and y’all can answer them, if you like. Of course, you can still leave questions for next time, and y’all can answer those. And, like always, any that aren’t answered, I’ll answer next time.

Let’s do this.

Questions for you, before you give questions for me.

Why do they call it after dark when it’s really after light?

Why do we use capital letters but not capital numbers?

Why do they call it a pair of pants but only one bra?

During tourist seasons, can we shoot them?

That’ll get you started.

Remember that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.

Most of your questions sent in to Ask IMAO Anything were already answered. The crack team that provided the answers included:

• DamnCat
• walruskkkch
• tankdemon
• Happy Fun Ball
• FormerHostage

Bacon to you one and all!

Now for the questions that were not answered.

walruskkkch: Does a three hour tour last longer than a 5 year mission?

Depends on how you measure. 98 episodes is more than 79 episodes, but 98 30-minute episodes don’t take longer than 79 1-hour episodes, and 904 days is less than 1,000 days.

Of course, if you’re stranded on an island with a guy who can build a radio out of a coconut but can’t patch a hole in a boat, and a doofus who keeps stumbling across Japanese soldiers and mad scientists on a deserted island, it would seem longer than five years in space.

Harvey: Besides Kryptonite, what was Superman’s other weakness?

Not being real.

cayleygraph2015: Is “Hidden Miss” a better name for “The Invisible Girl” from the Fantastic Four?

It’s a good one, but would really be a great name for a character in The Venture Brothers. They should do that, and give you credit for it.

Harvey: (heard elsewhere) Why do you put your two cents in when it’s only a penny for your thoughts?

Inflation.

All of the other questions submitted were answered. Thanks again to those that helped.

Remember that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.

Most of your questions sent in to Ask IMAO Anything were already answered. The crack team that provided the answers included:

• HokieGomer
• FormerHostage
• Happy Fun Ball
• tankdemon
• walruskkkch

Bacon to you one and all!

Now for the questions that were not answered.

walruskkkch: When somebody loves you is it no good unless they love you all the way?

That’s what Sammy Cahn wrote. But if he was so smart, how come he’s dead?

Oppo: The Pogo Possum comic strip featured a character named Molester Mole. Could he have gotten away with that mild jest today?

The name was pronounced as “mole-ster” (rhymes with “pollster”), and was based on a Democrat Senator. Today, it would still be appropriate for him to be named after a Democrat, and would indeed be pronounced “molester,” as in Joe Biden.

Harvey: Will you answer questions even if they don’t end with a question mark.

What is “Yes, but my answers will be in the form of a question?”

HokieGomer: Seeing as the VP is such a VIP, shouldn’t we keep the VP’s PC on the QT?

ASAP.

FormerHostage: Oxford comma. Where do you stand?

It is good and proper, and not using it is a mortal sin. Or at least it’s a really bad idea to not use it. So use it. Always. Otherwise, you might be confused if you found out that some of the biggest influences on my politics were my parents, Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher.

All of the other questions submitted were answered. Thanks again to those that helped.

Remember that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.

Most of your questions sent in to Ask IMAO Anything were already answered. The crack team that provided the answers included:

• walruskkkch
• tankdemon
• c64wood

Bacon to you one and all!

Now for the questions that were not answered.

walruskkkch: Does Frank J post over at GAB.com as Franksalterego? Asking for a friend.

That’s Frank J.’s bot that has gone wild.

wr104: The NBA is the NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION. They just had the NBA championship game. The Golden Gate Warriors lost to a team from Canada. How is it that a team from Canada can even play in a game for OUR NATIONAL championship when they are not from the US?

Well, here’s the thing. While you know basketball was invented in Springfield, Massachusetts in 1891 by James Naismith, what you may not know, or have forgotten, is that Naismith was Canadian. Sure, he had to leave Canadia to come to the U.S. to do something worthwhile, the game still has Canadian roots. And, most of the teams in the NBL and BBA (the forerunners of the NBA) were close to Canadia. And, one BBA team was actually in Canadia, the Toronto Huskies, who were so bad they went through four coaches in their only season. Toronto’s current team doesn’t suck as bad, it seems.

Francis: If I eliminate one mole from his tunnel, will another come and take his place? (Don’t have a magic sword or shape changing fairies to help me, so could really use some enlightenment on this matter.)

No explanation necessary. Your question is legit. And, while it may seem as if there are an infinite number of moles in the ground, the fact is there are only 6.02214076×10²³ of the critters in the average yard. So, keep at it. You’ll eventually win this war of attrition.

Harvey: What is Colin Mochrie’s greatest line?

“To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that’s why I just make up crap.”*

Bob B: Is there any more beautiful sound than the Islamic call to prayer at sunrise?

The sound an AH-64 Apache makes is pretty awesome.

All of the other questions submitted were answered. Thanks again to those that helped.

And, yes, there is still one more emailed question that hasn’t been answered. For the person who emailed it, I will be answering. But, timing hasn’t been right for my formatting of the answer. It’s not something I can easily do while traveling. But, the answer is coming, I promise.

Remember that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.

You asked questions, and you got answers. We said you could Ask IMAO Anything, and you have.

Most of the questions you left last time were answered by others, including:

• Harvey
• tankdemon
• Happy Fun Ball
• walruskkkch
• Anonymiss
• cayleygraph2015

Bacon to you all!

Now for the questions that weren’t answered.

Harvey: When you blog at IMAO, your name is pronounced “Basil.” Is your name also pronounced “Basil” when you blog at Basil’s Blog, or is it pronounced “Basil” over there?

It’s pronounced “Basil” everywhere, except by those that pronounce it “basil” which they really shouldn’t do.

walruskkkch: My question for this week is simple. What is the formula for classic Coke?

Since you spelled it “classic” and not “Classic,” you’re asking about the original product, not the re-introduced soft drink that contains corn syrup.

To ensure you get the most accurate information, I rechecked everything. I drove to Columbus, Georgia this past Wednesday. Why that matters is because Coca-Cola was first formulated in Columbus, not Atlanta as many people think. Dr. Pemberton sold it in Atlanta, but it was the formula that he developed at his shop in Columbus. Dr. Pemberton is buried in Columbus, by the way. His original shop and the copper pot in which he formulated the drink are in Columbus, but not at the original location. It was all moved to the historic district some years ago.

So, anyway, how do you make Coca-Cola? The original Coca-Cola? First, mix the flavoring.

Alcohol: 8 oz
Orange oil: 20 drops
Lemon oil: 30 drops
Nutmeg oil: 10 drops
Coriander: 5 drops
Neroli: 10 drops
Cinnamon: 10 drops

This flavoring, the original version of “merchandise 7X,” is the secret that’s in the vault in Atlanta. They’ve actually tinkered with it a little today, but this is the classic formula, from Dr. Pemberton’s notes.

For the drink, use the following:

Citrate Caffeine, 1 ounce
Extract of Vanilla, 1 ounce
Fluid Extract of Coca, 4 ounces (really hard to get)
Citric Acid, 3 ounces
Lime Juice, 1 quart
Sugar, 30 pounds
Water, 2.5 gallons
Caramel, 1.5 ounces, or as appropriate for color
Flavoring, 2.5 oz. (formula above)

Mix Caffeine, Acid, and Lime Juice in 1 quart boiling water, add vanilla and flavoring when cool.

Let stand 24 hours. Drink at your own risk.

Oppo: Hve you ever thought of posting an Open Threat instead of an Open Thread?

All the time.

And that’s it. All the other questions were answered — and answered well — in the comments. Thanks to all (listed earlier) that helped with that. Oh, there was another question that was emailed in that it gonna take a bit to get the answers ready. You’ll understand when we get to them. Soon.

Remember that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.

More answers from your questions. We said you could Ask IMAO Anything, and you have. You haven’t asked everything, but you’re off to a good start.

Most of the questions you left last time were answered by others, including:

• DamnCat
• walruskkkch
• Happy Fun Ball
• tankdemon
• c64wood
• CLIFFY
• Oppo
• Bob B

Bacon to you all!

Now for the questions that weren’t answered.

Francis: Why are last ditch efforts referred to as a “Hail Mary?” A sports example would be the long pass in the end zone with time running out. The Hail Mary prayer has no sports metaphors or any others that I can ascertain.

It’s really simple. “Hail Mary” in Latin is “Ave Maria.” The Schubert composition “Ellens Gesang III” opens with the words “Ave Maria” and the tune was later used as the basis of the song we know today by that name. “Ave Maria” is the concluding music in Disney’s 1940 film “Fantasia.” In the second half of that film, the first musical selection following intermission opens with an excerpt of Beethoven’s “Pastoral Symphony.” The “Pastoral Symphony” is an alternate name for Beethoven’s “Symphony Number 6.” In football, a touchdown is worth six points. So, a late attempt at a touchdown is naturally called a “Hail Mary.” It’s so obvious now that you think about it.

tankdemon: If you could add one more item to either the Bill of Rights or the Ten Commandments, which would you choose to edit, and and what would that right/commandment be?

Someone else answered something similar once, and I can’t improve on that answer:

The Lord our God is one Lord:

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Regarding the Constitution, I can think of an amendment I’d like to see, namely that no member of Congress shall vote on any bill for which that member was not present for a full and complete reading of the same. That would cut down on 2,000 page bills.

But, an additional right as laid out by the first ten Amendments? I think they got it right.

Bob B: If a car is traveling north at 65 miles per hour, and a second car is traveling south at 55 miles per hour, how long will it take for Congress to get off their butts and impeach already?

In that scenario, they won’t. The Democrats in Congress are looking for a bus. You know, to throw the country under.

Oppo: In the Perry Mason episode “The Case of the Resolute Reformer,” which first aired on Jan. 14, 1961, private detective Paul Drake is seen talking to Mason on a car phone.

What were car phones using for satellite service in 1961? Was it available on demand, around the clock?

Sorry, but that’s not one of the episodes in which Paul is shown using a car phone. He did use one in other episodes, however. In this episode, he is heard talking on the phone to Mason just after leaving the lush’s house, and that very well could be via car phone, but Paul isn’t actually shown using a car phone in that episode.

Having said that, have you noticed how good the opening graphics of that episode are? The three dimensional pieces with shadows, and how well it blends into where Raymond Burr’s actual hand picks up the folder from the judge’s bench? That show was well ahead of its time technically. That’s why when Paul did use a car phone, he was using satellites from the future, and not via radio like people in real life used at the time.

And that’s it. All the questions were answered excepting those. And we’re still taking questions. You can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.

It’s another week and another round of answers.

Most of the questions you left last time were answered by others, including:

• walruskkkch
• Happy Fun Ball
• tankdemon
• FormerHostage
• Veeshir
• CLIFFY
• Oppo
• DamnCat
• HokieGomer

Bacon to you all!

These are the questions that weren’t answered.

Bob B: Is there really anything left to ask?

There are definitely more questions. And, there are always more answers. Perhaps it would be best if I gave you some examples. So, here’s what we’re gonna do.

We’re gonna turn the tables real quick, and I’ll ask some questions. And, you — any of you really — give your answers. In order to keep things straight, use the hashtags I offer with each, or quote my question in your response. That way, everyone knows what question you’re answering.

• Why Doesn’t McDonald’s Sell Hotdogs? #McWeiner
• At A Movie Theater Which Arm Rest Is Yours? #Movies
• What Is Satan’s Last Name? #Satan
• Why Is The Lone Ranger Called “Lone” If He Always Has His Indian Friend Tonto With Him? #LoneRanger
• Is There A Time Limit On Fortune Cookie Predictions? #FortuneCookies
• Why Does The Easter Bunny Carry Eggs? #EasterBunny
• Why Is The Heart Symbol Not Shaped Like The Organ? #Heart

See? There are all kinds of questions you can ask. You don’t have to try to think of a question that’s really a joke masquerading as a question. You can, if you want, but you don’t have to. Any question at all will do. That’s what the “anything” part of “Ask IMAO Anything” means: anything.

Huh. I don’t see any more questions that weren’t answered. One question. One whole question that wasn’t answered. And, even then, there were responses, but not really answers. Not directly. I mean, some took it and ran with it, but I answered it here anyway. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have any to answer. And I wanna answer questions. After all, I have all this knowledge inside of me just wanting to get out.

Wait. Maybe that’s gas.

Yep, definitely gas. I’m glad this is a blog and not … Tell you what. Let’s just not speak of this again.

So, I’ll conclude with a reminder that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments. Or, email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments, if the last few weeks have shown us anything. Those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. And, I’ll answer the questions that are emailed to us.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything. And more.

You should be happy. All your questions are being answered. Before long, you’ll know as much as we do.

Most of the questions you left last time were answered by others, including:

• Jim
• walruskkkch
• Happy Fun Ball
• DamnCat
• tankdemon
• Oppo

Bacon to you all!

Now, the rest of the questions that weren’t answered, we’re now going to answer.

tankdemon: Mary Ann, Ginger, or Nutmeg?

Mary Ann AND Ginger. But not Meg. She’s a nut.

Harvey: Couldn’t this all be solved by people formatting their answers as questions?

Yes, but imagine the Jeopardy you’d be in.

Wait. That’s it? Two questions? Only two questions that were not answered?

There were some questions that I saw in other posts that referred to this feature. There were indications that they didn’t want to post a question here, but wanted to ask a question.

“Hey, I want to ask a question, but I don’t want to ask a question in the place where you ask questions.” Or something like that. No, I don’t understand that either. Perhaps some clarification might be in order? Oh, well. Those may or may not have been answered. Probably not.

If you have a question, you can Ask IMAO Anything by:

1. Leaving a question in the comments. Either someone will answer it in the comments (click “Reply to comment” so it shows up under the question) or I’ll answer it next time.
2. Or by emailing your question to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com. Those go directly to me and I’ll answer them next time.

Ask away. Or better, ask here. We got your answers right here.

You asked the questions, and we answer them. Well, the ones that other ones of you didn’t already answer.

Speaking of which, here are the ones that earned my thanks — and bacon! — for answering questions left last time:

• Happy Fun Ball
• DamnCat
• Jim
• Oppo
• zzyzx

Now, the rest of the questions, answered. There aren’t many because of all the answers previously provided. But, here are the ones still needing an answer.

walruskkkch: If the Democrats pass articles of Impeachment against Trump and it gets kiboshed by the Senate trial will, or can they, keep on passing articles of impeachment? Asking for a friend.

The Constitution says that “The President, Vice President and all civil officers of the United States, shall be removed from office on impeachment for, and conviction of, treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors.” And since “The House of Representatives … shall have the sole power of impeachment,” the Democrats can keep impeaching for all kinds of made-up reasons, since the president has committed none of those acts. Of course, their doing that just means Trump gets re-elected and the left’s heads keep exploding until January 20, 2025. So fun times all around.

Jim: How do I change my post rating from a two to a five after my original large but dextrous fingers rating was accepted?

You can’t change your vote. But, you can vote more than once. You just have to register as a Democrat.

You can edit your comments within five minutes, though, in case you leave out words. Just sayin’.

walruskkkch: Is getting linked by Sarah Hoyt on a weekend painful or pleasurable? Asking for a friend.

You have some really weird friends. But to answer your question, getting linked by Sarah Hoyt is both painful and pleasurable. As many things are.

It’s always great when someone such as she links to a post at IMAO. But, it can be painful, too. Have you ever seen some of the comments that some people leave? You gotta wonder sometimes if they were dropped on their head as a child. Such is life on the Internet.

If you want to Ask IMAO Anything, there are a couple of ways to do that.

1. Leave a question in the comments. Either someone will answer it in the comments (click “Reply to comment” so it shows up under the question) or I’ll answer it next time.
b. Email your question to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com. Those go directly to me and I’ll answer them next time.

We can answer your questions, because we know everything. So ask us anything.

It’s time get up your smarts. We said you can Ask IMAO Anything, and these are the questions that haven’t yet been answered, for one reason or another.

First, a huge thanks — and bacon! — to those that helped answer some of the questions left last time:

• walruskkkch
• Jim
• Happy Fun Ball
• CLIFFY
• DamnCat
• CharlesB
• c64wood

Now, on to the questions that weren’t answered.

Jim: Are you folks just Basil’s … gatekeepers? I trod several feet to learn from one of The Master’s inconsequential toadies. My questions are real.

Your questions may be real, but the answers aren’t always. That makes it all better, right?

DamnCat: Basil, do you know a nice lady suitable for Jim to romance?

Let me check his IP address. It looks a lot like the IP address of someone who’s been down-voting my posts. I need to verify before I decide how best to answer that. Depending on what I find, I may give him my ex-wife’s phone number.

walruskkkch: I see that my question of what do these 10 people have in common was not answered correctly.

So, despite DamnCat’s answer, you’re saying they have been in your kitchen? I find it hard to believe those 10 famous people born in 1946 have all been in your kitchen. Pictures, or it didn’t happen. The ball’s in your court.

c64wood: Is that really what she said?

She said that, and more. I can’t repeat it. Well, I won’t; Harvey insists we keep it PG-13. But I will tell you that she has a real potty mouth. I like it.

DamnCat: Who run IMAOtown?

You do. And often into the ground.

Oppo: At some point, will the Democrats narrow down their field of candidates and say “That’s our Hitler!”

That’s actually the theme for the 2020 Democratic National Convention.

Jim: Why are the only three things I detest bigots and people with poor math skills?

You should also hate people that cant use punctuation mark’s correctly.

Oppo: At some point, will the Democrats go on a political diet to lower their cluster-all?

They’ve been on a diet for years. And, they’re trying to take the country on one. They feel strongly with a little help, the U.S.A. could lose 10 Amendments, maybe more.

Jim: How can two peanuts roll down a street but only one is a salted?

People know to leave the other one alone because, honestly, it’s risky dealing with one that is obviously a nut.

Oppo: Is. . . this
How
WilliamShatner
.
posts?

Make fun of him all you want. His Twitter feed is great.

Francis: Why do some people’s skin wrinkle as they get older? Asking for a friend.

They don’t have a painting in their attic.

Oppo: If a gun owner sits at home watching TV, do the police issue bulletins about an inactive shooter?

No. Had you said “right wing extremist inactive shooter” then you’d have been onto something.

Bob B: On the 15th of May, in response to Anonymiss’s musing that Basil’s new password was “Cilantro”, I posted, and I quote, “Does Basil have the onions for this?” This query, to date, remains unanswered. Is this beyond the pale?

That was on a “Straight Line of the Day” post, not an “Ask IMAO Anything” post. You can leave as many questions as you wish on other category posts, of course, but those will be answered (or not) in context, but not treated as an “Ask IMAO Anything” question.

I forgot where I was going with this. What was your question? Something about onions? There are a lot of good recipes on the back of a box of Lipton Onion Soup Mix, if that helps.

Oppo: I haven’t seen you yet at any of the champagne brunches or dinners to ask: with the huge distances involved, don’t you sometimes find it difficult to tell whether it’s the geisha girl coming in one of the many corner-office doors, or the manicurist?

One man’s manicurist is another man’s geisha girl. And with some of us, it doesn’t really matter.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer, leave it in the comments. Likely, someone else will answer in the comments — they really should click the “Reply to this comment” link below your comment so you can tell they were answering you. Of course, if it’s unanswered, I’ll provide the answer next time. Because I know everything. I might as well let you get some benefit from all my great, infinite, really large storehouse of knowledge, right?

Oh, you can also send an email to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com and that will come directly to me, and I’ll answer it next time.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we’re smarter.

Once again, we don’t have a lot of questions left to answer. The smartest group of commenters on the entire Internet provided some wonderful answers. Unfortunately, the only ones that posted here were the ones by the people that read this blog. Oh, well.

These are the one’s that weren’t answered, possibly because they were too hard.

Heh heh heh. I said “hard.”

DamnCat: Basil, you seem to have a good working knowledge of handcuffing techniques. Do you practice at home?

I don’t practice. I don’t play. I’m serious about it. Of course, there’s always a safe word for … wait, I’ve said too much.

walruskkkch: My next question oh Lord is why doesn’t numbering of a list display properly in the comments? Asking for a friend.

You should be able to use HTML code or BBCode to generate a list. Typing numbers doesn’t work, but that’s because we’ve enabled BBCode capabilities. The BBCode thing has some benefits, but this is one of the drawbacks.

Here’s how the HTML would look:

<ol>
<li>List item one</li>
<li>List item two</li>
</ol>

And the BBCode it pretty much the same:

[ol]
[li]List item one[/li]
[li]List item two[/li]
[/ol]

Both end up looking like this:

1. List item one
2. List item two

Now, you can’t do a straight translation of every HTML tag into BBCode, but some simple ones work. You can find more by searching online, unless I decide to post a more detailed How-To for BBCode. I could probably do that, as Harvey never comes along and reads what I do, so getting away with it should be a breeze.

Harvey: Could you please phrase your response in the form of a question?

You didn’t see the other thing I just wrote, did you?

Oppo: So is that Ecuadoran embassy in London up for grabs now?

Let me Assange assuage your fears about it.

Slapout: I’ve been working on a blog post about questions for famous people. I also ended up with Questions for Socialist. So until I get around to posting that, I’ll just ask them here. How many New Car dealerships are there in Cuba?

Others answered your question. I just wanted to say it’s about damn time you posted something on your blog.

Oppo: Did any of the critics who call Trump an imperial president write anything that I can read about Obama’s numerous appointed ‘czars’? I mean, he used that very word. Did they somehow overlook it?

Whatever do you mean? Barack Obama is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.

Thanks — and bacon! — to everyone who answered questions in the comments last time.

• DamnCat
• CLIFFY
• walruskkkch

If you have a question for us, send it to Ask IMAO Anything. You can leave it in the comments and someone will answer it here. Probably. Or, email Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com and I’ll answer those next time.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.

We don’t have a lot of answers to offer this time because we don’t have a lot of unanswered questions. Oh, we got questions, but y’all did an excellent job of answering most of the questions, making it easy for me.

The few I have were either not answered (for shame!) or were emailed in — Yay! Somebody wrote me an email and it wasn’t a Nigerian prince — I’m answering now.

walruskkkch: How much later my Lord?

We have arrive at the appointed time. Now ask your question.

Francis: How is a person with only one hand, handcuffed?

If the suspect is wearing a belt and the loops are strong — heavy duty jeans, for instance — connecting the bracelet behind the back as far to the opposite side as possible usually works. Or, using an ankle will work, but that makes it hard to walk if you need to transport on foot very far. If you have a belly chain, that makes the whole thing really easy.

Even easier is knocking him in the head. On accident, of course. You might have to accidentally do it a couple of times just to be sure.

cayleygraph2015: What’s the runner-up for the day that’s so bad it’s commonly thought of as the Monday of weekdays?

Tuesday. This week, for instance, Tuesday was the Monday of the week, since I had Monday off.

Rihar: Who runs Bartertown?

Master Blaster run Bartertown. Now, lift embargo.

Thanks — and bacon! — to everyone who answered questions in the comments last time.

• walruskkkch
• thebrickmoon
• CLIFFY
• wr104
• tankdemon
• DamnCat
• HokieGomer
• zzyzx

If you have a burning question, grab a fire extinguisher and put it out. Then, sort through the rubble and whatever is left, send it to Ask IMAO Anything. You can leave it in the comments and someone will answer it here. Probably. Or, email Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com and I’ll answer those next time.

Get you some smarts. Read IMAO, ask questions, and get an education like none other. Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.

Monday! The day that usually is usually so bad that it’s commonly thought of as the Monday of weekdays. But today, it’s gonna be a great day, because we’re all gonna get smarter. Well, not me. I’ve peaked. But you, yeah you could use some smartening up, and we’re here to make that happen.

You send us questions and we’ll answer them. Questions in the comments may be answered by other of you Moon Nukers, and that’s great because the folks that hang around outside looking for scraps are the best hanging around outside looking for scapsers in the world.

Here are the questions left by you — well, maybe not you but by some of y’all — that haven’t been answered yet.

Oppo: Why do fools fall in lava?

You kinda answered your own questions there, didn’t you?

walruskkkch: What does an expanding universe expand into?

What’s important is why it’s expanding. The universe needs to exercise more and cut down on the sweets, and then it’ll be the fit trim universe we all know it can be.

cayleygraph2015: How many cardinals are between countably-infinite and continuum?

More than you can count. And, as you can tell, there’s at least one mockingbird, too.

Oppo: Do all mobsters, with the exception of those who spill them, walk around with beans?

The ones in Boston do.

Oppo: For what purpose?

Because Al Capone was put away by a bean counter.

Veeshir: I’m easily confused so I need to know, what question should I ask?

That one is fine. Well done.

Slapout: What happens if I find a genie and ask for negative one wishes?

It’s no different than asking for the square root of negative one wishes; it’s irrational.

Oppo: Are her feets too big for the bed?

If so, then focus on another part of her. There are some really good other parts.

Oppo: Is it a plane? Is it a train? Is it Superman?

No. No. And No. You should’ve asked just asked what it was.

Oppo: When did Gen X end and Gen Y begin? Not that I care.

What you should care about is when will Gen Y end, to which the answer is “not soon enough.”

walruskkkch: I have a question for you if ye be a man of valor.

I already know what you’re going to ask. And yes, I will ride with you and together we shall take the city.

Oppo: Boxers or Lhasa Apsos?

Any outside dog over an inside dog every time. Dogs go on the outside, where they can run and play and bite people who get too close.

A big ol’ thanks — and bacon! — to those who helped answer some of the questions left last time:

• cayleygraph2015
• Happy Fun Ball
• Oppo
• walruskkkch
• DamnCat
• zzyzx

Y’all are awesome.

Hey, if you have a question for IMAO, you can leave it in the comments or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com. Some of the questions left in the comments may be answered by others, and I’ll answer the rest next time. I’ll also answer questions sent to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Go ahead. Ask your question. We’ve got the answers. Because we know everything!

So do you like feeling smarter? Just Ask IMAO Anything and you’ll be smarter for it.

Leave us a question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com, and we’ll answer your question.

Since the IMAO audience is the smartest on earth, they’ll help answer your questions. For those they don’t answer, we’ll answer next time. Or, we’ll answer if further clarification is needed.

Here are the remaining questions from last edition.

walruskkkch: I’m thinking of a number, what is it?

It’s a unit belonging to an abstract mathematical system and subject to specified laws of succession, addition, and multiplication, but that’s not important right now. Tell the captain I must speak to him.

Oppo: Would a just God allow hipsters to continue to wear fedoras and soul patches?

No. He would allow them to wear Trilbys though. And the Devil would cause them to call the hats Fedoras rather than Trilbys because Trilbys sounds as stupid as they look. But Fedoras — actual Fedoras — rock.

Oppo: My God, what have I done?

Now that you know the difference between Trilbys and Fedoras, you’ll be okay. All is forgiven.

Oppo: Monaco . . . Liechtenstein . . . Burkina Faso . . . The Gambia . . . Seriously?

Nothing is that serious.

Oppo: Why so serious?

We just covered that.

Oppo: What’s Santa Claus doing now?

Planning his retirement.

Harvey: Was there ever a tenth reindeer?

Yes, but he was really the 11th. Nobody mentions the War Reindeer.

A special thanks — and bacon! — to the Moon Nukers who helped answer the questions last time:

• thebrickmoon
• Happy Fun Ball
• zzyzx
• CLIFFY
• walruskkkch
• Oppo

Remember, if you have a question, leave it in the comments and someone will answer it for you, either by replying to it in the comments, or I’ll offer an answer next time. Or, you can email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com and I’ll answer it next time.