Monday! The day that usually is usually so bad that it’s commonly thought of as the Monday of weekdays. But today, it’s gonna be a great day, because we’re all gonna get smarter. Well, not me. I’ve peaked. But you, yeah you could use some smartening up, and we’re here to make that happen.
You send us questions and we’ll answer them. Questions in the comments may be answered by other of you Moon Nukers, and that’s great because the folks that hang around outside looking for scraps are the best hanging around outside looking for scapsers in the world.
Here are the questions left by you — well, maybe not you but by some of y’all — that haven’t been answered yet.
Oppo: Why do fools fall in lava?
You kinda answered your own questions there, didn’t you?
walruskkkch: What does an expanding universe expand into?
What’s important is why it’s expanding. The universe needs to exercise more and cut down on the sweets, and then it’ll be the fit trim universe we all know it can be.
cayleygraph2015: How many cardinals are between countably-infinite and continuum?
More than you can count. And, as you can tell, there’s at least one mockingbird, too.
Oppo: Do all mobsters, with the exception of those who spill them, walk around with beans?
The ones in Boston do.
Oppo: For what purpose?
Because Al Capone was put away by a bean counter.
Veeshir: I’m easily confused so I need to know, what question should I ask?
That one is fine. Well done.
Slapout: What happens if I find a genie and ask for negative one wishes?
It’s no different than asking for the square root of negative one wishes; it’s irrational.
Oppo: Are her feets too big for the bed?
If so, then focus on another part of her. There are some really good other parts.
Oppo: Is it a plane? Is it a train? Is it Superman?
No. No. And No. You should’ve asked just asked what it was.
Oppo: When did Gen X end and Gen Y begin? Not that I care.
What you should care about is when will Gen Y end, to which the answer is “not soon enough.”
walruskkkch: I have a question for you if ye be a man of valor.
I already know what you’re going to ask. And yes, I will ride with you and together we shall take the city.
Oppo: Boxers or Lhasa Apsos?
Any outside dog over an inside dog every time. Dogs go on the outside, where they can run and play and bite people who get too close.
A big ol’ thanks — and bacon! — to those who helped answer some of the questions left last time:
- cayleygraph2015
- Happy Fun Ball
- Oppo
- walruskkkch
- DamnCat
- zzyzx
Y’all are awesome.
Hey, if you have a question for IMAO, you can leave it in the comments or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com. Some of the questions left in the comments may be answered by others, and I’ll answer the rest next time. I’ll also answer questions sent to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.
Go ahead. Ask your question. We’ve got the answers. Because we know everything!
What’s the difference between a cosmos and a universe?
A Cosmo taste better.
The jury’s still out, though, on how it smells.
https://www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-07/what-does-space-smell
https://www.howitworksdaily.com/the-milky-way-smells-of-rum-and-tastes-like-raspberries/
An astronaut once said space smells like gun powder.
When the going gets tough and the tough get going where do they go?
Wherever they want.
Someplace a little softer.
What’s the runner-up for the day that’s so bad it’s commonly thought of as the Monday of weekdays?
Cocoa Puffs or Cocoa Krispies?
Cocoa the Stripper.
Count Chocula doesn’t make the list? Antivampite!
Certainly not as a stripper.
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Yes…you go cuckoo for cocoa puffs.
Yes – tuna!
..but only Albatross white tuna..that other stuff tastes like road kill.
Please provide google map link for these roads with tuna road kill. PLEASE!
…no map needed my friend…just come to West Texas and reach and grab a smorgasbord of various roadkill sure to delight the pickiest of Eaters…jack-rabbits, coyotes, etc….it all tastes like brown tuna after about 2 days.
Starkist or Bumblebee?
Either…but what does bees have to do with tuna? Does tuna need to be pollinated? Asking for a friend.
I’m still working on what Chickens have to do with it.
Do you REALLY care?
There’s no such thing as “tuna roadkill” why are you tormenting that poor cat like that?
You can tune a piano but can’t tuna fish!
Next thing I suppose you’ll be trying to convince him there’s such a thing as Maui-Wowie catnip. Shame on you.
I’m tempted to report you to PETA.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals? Humans are animals too, well mammals, and I’ve been mistreated so please report. My wife hates tuna and I like it, if it’s albatross, I will eat it right out of the can like a wild ferrel Tomcat!
PETA – People Eating Tasty Animals
Hold on there. While this isn’t proof of tuna roadkill, it is proof of the possibility.
That’s it! I have verified it with a pic. That’s an Atlantic Yellowfin Tuna without his mounted bayonets. Yummy!
link
That’s obviously a Perch made up to look like a largemouth Bass.
Anyway…I need to ask a question!
Every time I watch the ending to Saving Private Ryan I cry. Am I a wuss?
No, you are a step below one however.
So I’m a thigh!? Cool!
I’m hip!!
Anklebiters.
DIBS!
Because a laser pointer isn’t available.
If I’m elected President of the United States all citizens will be able to own a laser pointer!!
After a suitable waiting period and registration?
I trump your laser pointer and will give out free ray guns if I’m elected even if you’re not a major donor.
I’ll offer everyone 2 phased plasma rifles in the 40-watt range.
I’ll see your 40 watts and raise you 10 megawatts.
I’ll see your 10 megawatts and raise you 1.21 gigawatts.
I’m jiggy with it.
I’m out.