Archive of entries posted on 27th May 2019

Ask IMAO Anything: Answers #10

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Monday! The day that usually is usually so bad that it’s commonly thought of as the Monday of weekdays. But today, it’s gonna be a great day, because we’re all gonna get smarter. Well, not me. I’ve peaked. But you, yeah you could use some smartening up, and we’re here to make that happen.

You send us questions and we’ll answer them. Questions in the comments may be answered by other of you Moon Nukers, and that’s great because the folks that hang around outside looking for scraps are the best hanging around outside looking for scapsers in the world.

Here are the questions left by you — well, maybe not you but by some of y’all — that haven’t been answered yet.

Oppo
Oppo: Why do fools fall in lava?

Basil
You kinda answered your own questions there, didn’t you?

walruskkkch
walruskkkch: What does an expanding universe expand into?

Basil
What’s important is why it’s expanding. The universe needs to exercise more and cut down on the sweets, and then it’ll be the fit trim universe we all know it can be.

CayleyGraph2015
cayleygraph2015: How many cardinals are between countably-infinite and continuum?

Basil
More than you can count. And, as you can tell, there’s at least one mockingbird, too.

Oppo
Oppo: Do all mobsters, with the exception of those who spill them, walk around with beans?

Basil
The ones in Boston do.

Oppo
Oppo: For what purpose?

Basil
Because Al Capone was put away by a bean counter.

Veeshir
Veeshir: I’m easily confused so I need to know, what question should I ask?

Basil
That one is fine. Well done.

Slapout
Slapout: What happens if I find a genie and ask for negative one wishes?

Basil
It’s no different than asking for the square root of negative one wishes; it’s irrational.

Oppo
Oppo: Are her feets too big for the bed?

Basil
If so, then focus on another part of her. There are some really good other parts.

Oppo
Oppo: Is it a plane? Is it a train? Is it Superman?

Basil
No. No. And No. You should’ve asked just asked what it was.

Oppo
Oppo: When did Gen X end and Gen Y begin? Not that I care.

Basil
What you should care about is when will Gen Y end, to which the answer is “not soon enough.”

walruskkkch
walruskkkch: I have a question for you if ye be a man of valor.

Basil
I already know what you’re going to ask. And yes, I will ride with you and together we shall take the city.

Oppo
Oppo: Boxers or Lhasa Apsos?

Basil
Any outside dog over an inside dog every time. Dogs go on the outside, where they can run and play and bite people who get too close.

A big ol’ thanks — and bacon! — to those who helped answer some of the questions left last time:

  • cayleygraph2015
  • Happy Fun Ball
  • Oppo
  • walruskkkch
  • DamnCat
  • zzyzx

Y’all are awesome.

Hey, if you have a question for IMAO, you can leave it in the comments or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com. Some of the questions left in the comments may be answered by others, and I’ll answer the rest next time. I’ll also answer questions sent to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.

Go ahead. Ask your question. We’ve got the answers. Because we know everything!

Memorial Day Poem

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Oppo drawing“Cry havoc!” quoth the Bard,
“Let slip the dogs of war!”
No dogs, though, cheered that deadly word
That had been slipped before.

The world will selfishly little note
What Abraham Lincoln said
What we say here. His famous quote
Went unheard by the dead.

Each crusade on earth, it seems,
Sends heroes unto hell
Is it worth their hopes and dreams?
Live poets never tell.

Memorial Day 2019

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Tome of the Unknowns

The Tomb of the Unknowns

Proclamation on Prayer for Peace, Memorial Day, 2019

Issued on: May 24, 2019

Whether on the battlefields of Bunker Hill, on the beaches of Normandy, in the jungles of Vietnam, or in the mountains and deserts of the Middle East, brave Americans of every generation have given their last full measure of devotion in defense of our country, our liberty, and our founding ideals. On Memorial Day, we humbly honor these incredible patriots and firmly renew our abiding commitment to uphold the principles for which they laid down their lives.

As a free people, we have a sacred duty to remember the courageous warriors who have made the ultimate sacrifice to ensure that our great country would endure. It is our responsibility to strive to ensure that their noble acts of dedication to our country and the cause of freedom were not in vain and to comfort the families they have left behind, who bear the heartbreak of their loss. We must ensure that the light of our Republic, and all for which these most honorable Americans willingly died, continues to shine forth brightly into the world. As President Lincoln said in 1863 during the dedication of the Gettysburg National Military Cemetery: “It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.”

As we approach the 75th anniversary of D-Day, we proudly commemorate those heroic and honorable patriots who gave their all for the cause of freedom during some of history’s darkest hours. Thousands of selfless members of our Armed Forces perished on the beaches of Normandy. They bravely gave their lives to pave the way for the Allied liberation of Europe and ultimately victory over the forces of evil. Their historic sacrifices and achievements secured the future of humanity and proved America’s strength in defending freedom and defeating the enemies of civilization.

Those who rest in the hallowed grounds of our country’s national cemeteries laid their lives upon the altar of freedom. Today, as we unite in eternal gratitude for the sacrifices of these extraordinary Americans, let us also offer a prayer for lasting peace. Let us renew our steadfast resolve to work toward a peaceful future, in which the horrors of war are a distant memory and our families, our communities, and our Nation need no longer confront the sorrow and pain of losing our beloved sons and daughters.

In honor and recognition of all of our fallen heroes, the Congress, by a joint resolution approved May 11, 1950, as amended (36 U.S.C. 116), has requested the President issue a proclamation calling on the people of the United States to observe each Memorial Day as a day of prayer for permanent peace and designating a period on that day when the people of the United States might unite in prayer. The Congress, by Public Law 106-579, has also designated 3:00 p.m. local time on that day as a time for all Americans to observe, in their own way, the National Moment of Remembrance.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim Memorial Day, May 27, 2019, as a day of prayer for permanent peace, and I designate the hour beginning in each locality at 11:00 a.m. of that day as a time when people might unite in prayer.

I further ask all Americans to observe the National Moment of Remembrance beginning at 3:00 p.m. local time on Memorial Day.

I also request the Governors of the United States and its Territories, and the appropriate officials of all units of government, to direct the flag be flown at half-staff until noon on this Memorial Day on all buildings, grounds, and naval vessels throughout the United States and in all areas under its jurisdiction and control. I also request the people of the United States to display the flag at half-staff from their homes for the customary forenoon period.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this
twenty-fourth day of May, in the year of our Lord two thousand nineteen, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and forty-third.

DONALD J. TRUMP

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