Archive of entries posted on 20th May 2019

It’s a Much Better Color

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[autoapklijavimas.lt Car Wrapping 80 LVL] (Viewer #71,592)

Stop-motion is all about knowing which frames to keep, and which to toss. I think these choices were excellent.

I’d hate to be the guy working on it who had to keep stepping back out of frame every 2 seconds, though. That must’ve been miserable.

Or do you suppose they edited him out in post?

Exit Question: why would anyone pay good money to do that for a Volkswagen Golf?

Trump to Halt Climate Change by Creating Government Program to Accelerate It

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“We’ll do for climate change what Cash for Clunkers did for Detroit”

WASHINGTON (AP) – In a move that surprised backers and detractors alike, President Trump announced that he would embrace and support the goals of the Green New Deal program to completely halt all climate change. Even more surprising is the method by which he plans to do it: creating a vast government bureaucracy designed to promote and accelerate the rate of climate change.

At a Rose Garden press conference, President Trump explained his plan.

“In a way,” began Trump, “I have my predecessor to thank for this idea. More specifically, his signature ‘accomplishment’, Obamacare. Look what people were getting after Obamacare got put into place. Three times the premiums, half the coverage, doctors ‘retiring’ early, with fewer new physicians than ever entering the field. If we had deliberately set out to destroy the health care industry, I can’t think of a single thing we’d do differently.”

“So that gave me an idea,” Trump continued, “Why don’t we take the government’s one indisputable skills – a grotesque, almost comical, incompetence – and put it to work FOR us instead of letting it ruin people’s lives like it usually does. Why not actually have the government TRY to create climate change? It’d kill it faster than a windshield bug on a NASCAR track. Splat! No more climate change.”

“I’m taking the best… well, worst… well, YOU know… ideas from some of our least competent bureaucracies,” said Trump. “Housing and Urban Development, Education, Labor, Transportation, Energy… like a who’s who of ‘oh no’! You’ve heard of the Peter Principle? Well, we plan to put the Peterest people possible on this project. If he’ll accept, we’ll put Hermes Conrad in charge of it. If he refuses, or turns out to be fictional because my advisors are messing with me, we’ll find someone even worse.”

Democrat reaction to the plan was mixed.

Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the Green New Deal’s biggest champion, vociferously opposed the Trump plan.

“What? No! No, no, no, no, NO! This was MY idea!” said Ocasio-Cortez. “He can’t just come in here and turn it upside down and pretend he can make it work. I know this plan. I created this plan. NOTHING can make it work! Well, not anytime soon. I mean, it’s supposed to be a long-term easing into certain restrictions and controls that will make energy creation more… manageable… for those of us who’ll be in charge of it. I’m 28. I could be in charge until I’m 78. That’s a good 35 or 40 years from now. When I said we only had 12 years left, I didn’t mean for ME!”

In contrast, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi suggested that she and the President might be able to find areas of agreement that would allow them to work together.

“President Trump and I have had our… differences,” admitted Pelosi, “but I have a constituency to keep happy. I’ve got labor unions and party bosses, and they all have ne’er do well relatives, and they all need cushy, unfireable jobs. So if that’s what Trump’s handing out, I don’t care what the work is. I don’t even care if they succeed or fail, as long as they get paid. So I definitely feel like there’s room for bipartisanship here.”

The bill comes before the House for a vote next week, unless the paperwork gets lost before then, in which case those responsible will be put in charge of the project.

[IMAO Ace Reporters walruskkkch and blarg contributed to this story]

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< Kamala Harris Comes Out As 76-Year-Old White Man, Now Leads 2020 Dems In Polls

Ask IMAO Anything: Answers #7

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A new week, a new round of answers for Ask IMAO Anything. And, of course, a big thank you and a plate of bacon to all who helped answer questions submitted Friday. It shows just how smart, awesome, and full of way too much free time many of you are. We do appreciate your helping share your knowledge with the others.

And a huge thanks for those that were patient with us during that little glitch the first hour. We actually had a question submitted about that, which we’ll go over in just a bit.

A reminder that you can submit your question in the comments, or you can email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com and we’ll answer them. We’ll also answer the questions that aren’t answered by other Moon Nukers, or those that need clarification.

walruskkkch

Why do we have to wait for Answers #6 to get a comments link up?

CayleyGraph2015

CayleyGraph2015: Did you deliberately disable comments on Ask IMAO Anything: Answers #6?

Basil

I’m answering these two related questions since they both arrived within two minutes of each other. Friday’s “glitch” was actually a screw-up. It seems when composing it, a stray mouse click disabled the setting to allow contents, and I didn’t discover that until I got both the question submitted to the old post and the email submitted to the Ask IMAO Anything email address. I can’t blame a hacker for that.

walruskkkch

walruskkkch: Which came first, the Chicken, the egg or BACON?

Basil

All that really matters is that we now have bacon, right?

CayleyGraph2015

cayleygraph2015: Why do so many people ask for Coke when Pepsi is objectively better?

walruskkkch

Why do so many people ask for Pepsi when Coke is objectively frackin’ awesome!

Basil

Trick questions. Dr Pepper is best.

Oppo

Oppo: Why did Snopes rate tales about Niagara “Mostly Falls”?

Basil

Niagara? Falls? Slowly I turned…

Oppo

Oppo: Who invented the formula “Who / What / When / Where / How / Why?” In what location, manner, and year was it devised, and for what purpose?

Basil

Ron Greenberg for a game show on NBC.

Slapout

Slapout: When you make “IMAO: The Movie”, can I help with the special effects?

Basil

We’re counting on it.

Oppo

Oppo: When you make “IMAO: The Movie”, can I help with the RiffTrax version?

Basil

If you think you can take Kevin Murphy, you go right ahead.

Slapout

Slapout: When will the Braves win the World Series again?

Basil

First, look at their previous titles:

  • 1914 Boston Braves
  • 1957 Milwaukee Braves
  • 1995 Atlanta Braves

So, it’s obvious that the next title will be after they pack up and move again.

Harvey

Harvey: Same question, except Brewers and without the “again”.

Basil

Milwaukee’s National League team got their title in 1957 with the Braves. Shoulda stayed in the American League.

Dear Friend,
How are you doing today, and your family, I’m happy to inform you about my success in getting the fund transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from Paraguay. Presently I’m in Paraguay for investment projects with my own share of the total sum. Meanwhile,I didn’t forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.

Now contact my secretary, is name is Mr.muhammad Youssef and is email address is (mr.muhammadyoussef123@gmail.com),ask him to send you the total $200.000.00 which i kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much. so feel free and get in touched with my secretary Mr.muhammad Youssef and instruct him where to send the amount to you.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time.in the moment, i am very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand, finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to the secretary on your behalf to receive that money, so feel free to get in touch with Mr.muhammad Youssef and he will send the amount to you without any delay.

With best regards,
Mr.Abdul

Basil

I knew it was just a matter of time before this happened.

If you have a question, you can email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com or simply leave your question in the comments.

And, thanks to the Moon Nukers that helped answer questions last time:

  • walruskkkch
  • cayleygraph2015

Bacon to you, and to those that have been answering questions earlier.

  • Happy Fun Ball
  • DamnCat
  • zzyzx
  • CLIFFY
  • Rihar

Ask IMAO Anything! We know everything!