Remember the movie “Short Circuit?” Sure you do. Cute film. Not really memorable, other than remembering it was a cute film.
What’s been on your mind? Got something you’d like to share? A topic to discuss? It’s Thursday Night Open Thread.
Who wants to start?
A new study of Universal Basic Income trials concludes that making cash payments to all is no solution to poverty.
Hope they didn’t spend a lot on that study. Any parent with an adult child in their basement could’ve told them that for free.
[How to Stop Quitting Everything You Start] (Viewer #326,124)
The taking breaks thing is my key takeaway.
By the way, another use for the timer on your phone is to set it for “just 5 minutes” to help trick yourself into starting a project you don’t want to tackle. I use that one more often than I care to admit.
[High Praise! to Ammo.com]
Island Gun Laws: The History of Gun Control and Crime in Australia, New Zealand, and the UK
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Some Congressional Democrats are still making noises about impeaching President Trump, but the fact is, if you throw Trump in prison tomorrow, the only difference will be that he gives his next inaugural address wearing an orange jumpsuit.
“It’s not personal, sonny, it’s strictly business.”
CNN President Jeff Zucker, a chubby bald guy who people still keep greeting with “Wow. They really mis-cast Jesse Eisenberg in ‘The Social Network’, didn’t they?” was incensed at the “unCNNers'” disrespect.
“This is America,” said Zucker, “and America has a narrative. A narrative protected by the First Amendment. Any violation of the First Amendment is a violation of the Constitution which shows contempt for Congress. The Congress who is, as far as I know, the sole arbiter of what the Constitution says and means. I’ve been elbow-deep in journalism all my life. I’m pretty sure that if someone else had been appointed to that role, I’d be aware of it.”
House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-NY) said that although Congress had never held private citizens in contempt for not watching a TV show before, he allowed that Mr. Zucker had made a persuasive case for breaking precedent.
“Contempt of Congress is a pretty serious charge,” Nadler said. “It means that someone didn’t do what a member of Congress told them to. Now, I’ve never actually TOLD anyone to watch CNN, but CNN does have enough dirt on me to really embarrass me in front of both their viewers. I guess it wouldn’t hurt what side I know my bread is buttered on to back CNN’s play on this.”
Former CNN viewer Millie Helper appeared surprisingly calm as the threat of contempt hung over her head.
“Worried? Pfffft! Eric Holder got ‘disgraced’ with one and he landed a cushy corner office job in DC. Where do I sign up?”
[IMAO Ace Reporter Burt contributed to this story]
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< New York Times to Start Publishing Tax Returns of Everyone Who Cancels Subscription
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
CNN is so desperate for viewers, they’re now considering…
We’re again answering questions you submitted to us. We’re taking questions via the blog in the comments, or by our special email address Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com. Some of the questions were answered in the comments by other readers. And, if the reader gave a good answer, we’re fine with that. After all, the IMAO audience is the smartestest audience of any blog on the Internet with a conservative bent and a red and black color scheme in a three-column format and featuring the moon in the logo. No other place can say that.
These questions, though, still need an answer. And since we have the largest brain trust on the planet, we’re sharing our vast, infinite, really big knowledge with you. So, here are the second batch of answers to your questions:
DamnCat: When will this be a regular feature?
Whenever we damn well please.
Bob B: If you know everything, then… ?
Exactly!
walruskkkch: Wow answering everyone’s question seems to be super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Answering questions is tight!
walruskkkch: Got an old Carlin question for you: If God is all powerful can He make a rock so big that He Himself can’t lift it?
You know what happened to George Carlin, right? He died. That should answer your question.
zzyzx: If that’s not my car then where is my car?
Last time I saw it, Neil Patrick Harris was driving away in it.
Harvey: Who is the best Captain in the Star Trek Universe?
The answers others gave in the comments were all correct, and I have nothing to add.
Oppo: How did you get a copy of my booking photo?
We know everything and have eyes and ears everywere. The NSA is scared of us!
Oppo: Is there a homicidal monkey named “Mr. Bananas” out to get me, or what?
That’s not his name.
Oppo: Snakes. Why is it always snakes?
That’s not a snake; I’m just happy to see you.
If you have a question for us, anything at all, send it to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com, or leave your question in the comments. If you leave your question here, one of our regular geniuses may be able to give you the insight you need. But if not, rest assured that the super geniuses at IMAO will ensure you get all the knowledge you can stand.
Facebook announced that it’s deleting billions of fake accounts in its battle against fake news.
Liars. Truth is, even fake Facebookers are quitting over privacy concerns.
