It’s time get up your smarts. We said you can Ask IMAO Anything, and these are the questions that haven’t yet been answered, for one reason or another.
First, a huge thanks — and bacon! — to those that helped answer some of the questions left last time:
- walruskkkch
- Jim
- Happy Fun Ball
- CLIFFY
- DamnCat
- CharlesB
- c64wood
Now, on to the questions that weren’t answered.
Jim: Are you folks just Basil’s … gatekeepers? I trod several feet to learn from one of The Master’s inconsequential toadies. My questions are real.
Your questions may be real, but the answers aren’t always. That makes it all better, right?
DamnCat: Basil, do you know a nice lady suitable for Jim to romance?
Let me check his IP address. It looks a lot like the IP address of someone who’s been down-voting my posts. I need to verify before I decide how best to answer that. Depending on what I find, I may give him my ex-wife’s phone number.
walruskkkch: I see that my question of what do these 10 people have in common was not answered correctly.
So, despite DamnCat’s answer, you’re saying they have been in your kitchen? I find it hard to believe those 10 famous people born in 1946 have all been in your kitchen. Pictures, or it didn’t happen. The ball’s in your court.
c64wood: Is that really what she said?
She said that, and more. I can’t repeat it. Well, I won’t; Harvey insists we keep it PG-13. But I will tell you that she has a real potty mouth. I like it.
DamnCat: Who run IMAOtown?
You do. And often into the ground.
Oppo: At some point, will the Democrats narrow down their field of candidates and say “That’s our Hitler!”
That’s actually the theme for the 2020 Democratic National Convention.
Jim: Why are the only three things I detest bigots and people with poor math skills?
You should also hate people that cant use punctuation mark’s correctly.
Oppo: At some point, will the Democrats go on a political diet to lower their cluster-all?
They’ve been on a diet for years. And, they’re trying to take the country on one. They feel strongly with a little help, the U.S.A. could lose 10 Amendments, maybe more.
Jim: How can two peanuts roll down a street but only one is a salted?
People know to leave the other one alone because, honestly, it’s risky dealing with one that is obviously a nut.
Oppo: Is. . . this
How
WilliamShatner
.
posts?
Make fun of him all you want. His Twitter feed is great.
Francis: Why do some people’s skin wrinkle as they get older? Asking for a friend.
They don’t have a painting in their attic.
Oppo: If a gun owner sits at home watching TV, do the police issue bulletins about an inactive shooter?
No. Had you said “right wing extremist inactive shooter” then you’d have been onto something.
Bob B: On the 15th of May, in response to Anonymiss’s musing that Basil’s new password was “Cilantro”, I posted, and I quote, “Does Basil have the onions for this?” This query, to date, remains unanswered. Is this beyond the pale?
That was on a “Straight Line of the Day” post, not an “Ask IMAO Anything” post. You can leave as many questions as you wish on other category posts, of course, but those will be answered (or not) in context, but not treated as an “Ask IMAO Anything” question.
I forgot where I was going with this. What was your question? Something about onions? There are a lot of good recipes on the back of a box of Lipton Onion Soup Mix, if that helps.
Oppo: I haven’t seen you yet at any of the champagne brunches or dinners to ask: with the huge distances involved, don’t you sometimes find it difficult to tell whether it’s the geisha girl coming in one of the many corner-office doors, or the manicurist?
One man’s manicurist is another man’s geisha girl. And with some of us, it doesn’t really matter.
If you have a question you’d like us to answer, leave it in the comments. Likely, someone else will answer in the comments — they really should click the “Reply to this comment” link below your comment so you can tell they were answering you. Of course, if it’s unanswered, I’ll provide the answer next time. Because I know everything. I might as well let you get some benefit from all my great, infinite, really large storehouse of knowledge, right?
Oh, you can also send an email to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com and that will come directly to me, and I’ll answer it next time.
Ask IMAO Anything. Because we’re smarter.
Well at least I got my question answered.
So I got that going for me.
My new question is this,
If the Democrats pass articles of Impeachment against Trump and it gets kiboshed by the Senate trial will, or can they, keep on passing articles of impeachment?
Asking for a friend.
One of my friends once passed kidney stones. Each one, I am told, hurt like Hell but made him more resistant to the previous pain. It sounded to me as though he were building up some heroic power. Or that he was lying. Whatever.
Who’s in charge of the place when the master is away?
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkWHQ3MRlH0&w=560&h=315%5D
Torgo
Alexander Haig
Well, at least its Constitutional then.
Brilliant!
If you were one of The Seven Dwarfs which one would you want to be?
Which one would you actually be?
Everyone wants to be Doc because he was so intense on Back To The Future. But because we are here in rhe late Monday morning, I suspect the consensus will be either Sleepy or Dopey.
Doc is such an underachiever. Can you imagine having a medical degree and working in a mine? Seriously, he must have done some grievous malpractice to end up slinging a pickax all day.
He might have been a dentist.
I bet he gets Dopey to turn over all his gold in exchange for oxy scripts.
Dopey was the smart one.
That’s true…he’s now the leading contender for the Democratic presidential nomination.
How do I change my post rating from a two to a five after my original large but dextrous rating was accepted? I’m not interested in Basil’s ex unless he wants an even swap.
Darn! I missed adding the noun “fingers”. And I took so much derision from missing punctuation.
Is it proper to welcome German bread with “Glutentaag”?
Yes!
And the proper name for bratwurst bun a schnitzengluten.
Sorry, I don’t speak Danish.
Sooner or later you’ll have to tell it “Loaf wiedersehen.”
If I drink both of the pessimist’s and optimist”s half glasses of water, does that make me an Opportunist, Aquaman (shudder), or someone else?
If you drank them both at the same time, then that means you have two mouths. Unless you drink it with your finger like Mork.
Strange story: my uncle gave me a ring with a strange script on it that only glows when it is hot (no ex-wife jokes please). I don’t like traveling. What should I do with it?
My uncle gave me one of those as well. I put it in the fire and the text that show up was:
“Made in Taiwan by Mordor Inc.”
You should give it back to that creepy little dude who lives in a cave by the river. Everything was fine until your uncle swiped it from him.
I didn’t ask him from where he acquired it. He was, after all, one hundredy-eleven and relatively senile by then. He thought he could become invisible. If I could do that I would be the most famous robber of all time.
Except no one would ever see me so my entire card house of fame comes floating down. Anyway, I would be richer.
If the ring won’t go to the volcano I say bring the volcano to the ring.
The solution is easy, give it to a giant eagle and have him fly over Mt. Doom and drop it into the mountain’s volcanic opening. Problem solved.
The solution is easy, give it to a giant eagle and have him fly over Mt. Doom and drop it into the mountains volcanic opening. Problem solved.
There’s that echo again.
Interesting. Usual the site won’t let you post the exact same comment citing that the comment already exists.
He’s a witch, burn him!!
How do you know he is a witch?
Does it matter?
Burn him!!!
There are ways of telling if he is a witch. However, the classic way no longer always works. There have been reports of witches that are made of sand rather than wood (so they won’t burn). So, the way to tell if this kind of witch is made of sand is to look for any kind of condiments. If he has any on him, like a pack of ketchup, a jar of pickles, a head of lettuce, etc. then he must be a sand witch.
Sand will melt if you apply enough heat.
Burn him!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g
First person that comes at me with a match in his hand gets turned into a newt.
Have a little fire Scarecrow!
A zippo for zzyzx.
It was advised to ask the question here. Who am I to disobey our Lords and Masters.
Is getting linked by Sarah Hoyt on a weekend painful or pleasurable?
Well, if you’re into that sort of thing…
Maybe.
Asking for a friend.
Hot links are good.