Did you read the cooking advice Harvey offered up over at his blog? I thought it brilliant. Give it a read.
Now, what’s been on your mind? Got something you’d like to share with the group? It’s Monday Night Open Thread.
Who wants to start?
Archive of entries posted on 17th June 2019
What You Wish For
In Denver, a city council member won by running on a promise to impose communism “by any means necessary.”
How about by shipping this clod off to a Chinese gulag? There’s all the communism he could ever want in there.
When Irresistible Forces Meet Movable Objects
[Writing Characters Without Character Arcs] (Viewer #455,638)
Interesting, because I’d never thought of it this way.
Also interesting because I generally don’t like flat character arc movies that much – usually because they’re twisted fantasies about leftists changing the world with their feelings regardless of who gets hurt or killed in the process.
Link of the Day: Finally! A Fair and Objective Review of Michelle Obama’s Book “Becoming”
[High Praise! to Diogenes’ Middle Finger]
The Queen of All America: A Memoir
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Trump Truths: Misquoted
After being misquoted by the press again, President Trump congratulated the media on keeping the typewriter industry alive while also providing employment for thousands of monkeys.
Oh No! We Ran Out of Freedom Again!
New Blame-a-Lyzer App Automatically Determines Who Deserves to Have You Blame Them for Your Problems
“I cannot tell a lie. It was global warming.”
Blame-a-Lyzer creator Dr. Emmett Lathrop Brown said the idea for the app just “came to him” when he slipped off the edge of his toilet while hanging a clock in his bathroom and hit his head on the sink.
“I was so embarrassed,” said Brown. “I had this big bandage on my forehead, and I was just trying to imagine how I was going to explain it to people. I must’ve spent an hour trying to come up with a story that didn’t make me look like a complete idiot. Finally, I decided to blame my dog, Einstein, for the fall. But afterward I got to thinking – why did I waste so much time coming up with a scapegoat for something that was my own fault? Then I thought – why not create an app that will do it for me so I don’t have to waste the time? I mean, the alternative was to just take responsibility from the get-go, and brother, THAT ain’t happening!”
After testing a simple prototype version that blamed plausible adverse circumstances (like running out of gas, having a flat tire, not having enough money for cab fare, your tux not coming back from the cleaners, an old friend coming in from out of town, someone stealing your car, an earthquake, a terrible flood, and locusts) for people’s failures and disappointments, Brown was inspired to expand the list to make it more marketable.
“I figured why just blame circumstances when you can blame people you already don’t like,” Brown said. “The best part being that there doesn’t have to be a plausible connection – or any connection at all – between you and the blamee. I found that the more groups I added, the more money I made from the app – which is MY kind of positive feedback loop. I added ‘the rich’ and sales doubled. I added ‘corporations’ and sales doubled again. I added ‘Prius owners’ and sales tripled. Man! NOBODY likes those guys!”
While Blame-a-Lyzer is currently the top-selling app on both iTunes and Google Play, it does have its detractors, some quite vocal, like dissatisfied customer Arthur Branch.
“Tried it. Didn’t like it. Said so out loud. Dang thing said Nazis were to blame for making me buy it. Then I noticed the app was set on ‘liberal’. So I hit the override button and said *I* was to blame for my own mistakes. Then the stupid thing called ME a Nazi. So I shot it. Now I don’t have a phone. But at least I know I only have myself to blame.”
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Straight Line of the Day: Oops! Recently Allowed to Pass Through Airport Security…
[High Praise! to CLIFFY for the suggestion]
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Oops! Recently allowed to pass through airport security…
The Illustrated Frank J: Trump/Rambo 2020
Ask IMAO Anything: Answers #18
You asked questions, and you got answers. We said you could Ask IMAO Anything, and you have.
Most of the questions you left last time were answered by others, including:
- Harvey
- tankdemon
- Happy Fun Ball
- walruskkkch
- Anonymiss
- cayleygraph2015
Bacon to you all!
Now for the questions that weren’t answered.
Harvey: When you blog at IMAO, your name is pronounced “Basil.” Is your name also pronounced “Basil” when you blog at Basil’s Blog, or is it pronounced “Basil” over there?
It’s pronounced “Basil” everywhere, except by those that pronounce it “basil” which they really shouldn’t do.
walruskkkch: My question for this week is simple. What is the formula for classic Coke?
Since you spelled it “classic” and not “Classic,” you’re asking about the original product, not the re-introduced soft drink that contains corn syrup.
To ensure you get the most accurate information, I rechecked everything. I drove to Columbus, Georgia this past Wednesday. Why that matters is because Coca-Cola was first formulated in Columbus, not Atlanta as many people think. Dr. Pemberton sold it in Atlanta, but it was the formula that he developed at his shop in Columbus. Dr. Pemberton is buried in Columbus, by the way. His original shop and the copper pot in which he formulated the drink are in Columbus, but not at the original location. It was all moved to the historic district some years ago.
So, anyway, how do you make Coca-Cola? The original Coca-Cola? First, mix the flavoring.
Alcohol: 8 oz
Orange oil: 20 drops
Lemon oil: 30 drops
Nutmeg oil: 10 drops
Coriander: 5 drops
Neroli: 10 drops
Cinnamon: 10 drops
This flavoring, the original version of “merchandise 7X,” is the secret that’s in the vault in Atlanta. They’ve actually tinkered with it a little today, but this is the classic formula, from Dr. Pemberton’s notes.
For the drink, use the following:
Citrate Caffeine, 1 ounce
Extract of Vanilla, 1 ounce
Fluid Extract of Coca, 4 ounces (really hard to get)
Citric Acid, 3 ounces
Lime Juice, 1 quart
Sugar, 30 pounds
Water, 2.5 gallons
Caramel, 1.5 ounces, or as appropriate for color
Flavoring, 2.5 oz. (formula above)
Mix Caffeine, Acid, and Lime Juice in 1 quart boiling water, add vanilla and flavoring when cool.
Let stand 24 hours. Drink at your own risk.
Oppo: Hve you ever thought of posting an Open Threat instead of an Open Thread?
All the time.
And that’s it. All the other questions were answered — and answered well — in the comments. Thanks to all (listed earlier) that helped with that. Oh, there was another question that was emailed in that it gonna take a bit to get the answers ready. You’ll understand when we get to them. Soon.
Remember that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.
Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.
Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.
Kinda Self-Serving
California is considering a new law that would allow felons to serve on juries.
But won’t that extra time commitment interfere with their ability to pass more legislation?