I love Weird Al.
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Archive of entries posted on 21st June 2019
Were They All Born After 2010?
A new survey shows that 2/3 of Democrats think they’d be able to keep their current insurance if “Medicare for All” passes.
Only if the way they’re insured is “un”.
Amnesia – Not Just for Soap Operas Anymore
[Honest Trailers | Captain Marvel] (Viewer #2,369,681)
Has the acting range of a paperweight, yet still more facial expressions than Kristen Stewart.
Link of the Day: The Upside of Impeaching Trump – Not Worth the Price of Admission, But Still an Upside
[High Praise! to Mr. Mister commenting at One Political Plaza, via The Daily Gouge]
I hope that the House of Representatives impeaches Trump
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Trump Truths: Straws
President Trump observed that the Democrats’ impeachment movement is just them grasping at straws. Which aren’t there. Because they banned them.
Somebody Like Trump (Song Parody by Walruskkkch)
[To the tune of “Somebody To Love” by Jefferson Airplane]
When the founders truths
are all called lies.
And all the liberty
in the country dies.
Don’t you want somebody who will fight
Don’t you need somebody who will fight
Wouldn’t you love somebody who will fight
You better find somebody who will fight
Fights!
When the lefties protest
and want you dead, yes
and the law, the law
fails to protect.
you.
Don’t you want somebody to set it right
Don’t you need somebody to set it right
Wouldn’t you love somebody to set it right
I know where you can find somebody to set it right.
Their lies, I say their lies
all day long they hiss
But in your head my friend
don’t you fall for any of this.
Don’t you want somebody who might
Don’t you need somebody who might
Wouldn’t you love somebody who might
Well you’ve found somebody who might
do..
Progs tears are running
They’re running all down their breasts
And you got a friend
who won’t treat you like a pest.
Now we got somebody like Trump
’cause we need somebody like Trump
You gotta love somebody like Trump
Thank God we found somebody like Trump.
My Favorite Response to AOC’s “Border Detention Facilities Are Concentration Camps” Narrative
This from Sarah Hoyt, posting at Instapundit:
The fact no one wants to exterminate an ethnicity, we just want to keep foreign invaders out of our country, or that Jews weren’t storming Nazi Germany trying to get in, or that no one is trying kill (or even force to work) apprehended foreign invaders, or that- None of that matters. Useful idiot Occasional Cortex wants to link us to one of of the 20th century’s greatest evils, in the process cheapening it.
Beto O’Rourke: “I Believe In the Virtues Of Honesty, Hard Work, Perseverance, and Leveraging the Coercive Power of Government to Forcibly Empty Other People’s Wallets Into A Big Pile Of Money That I Control”
“…and when the pile of your money gets THIS high, I’ll use half of it to pay government employees to spend the other half.”
Asked “how do you feel you connect with the American people?”, Beto’s dull eyes seemed to brighten, almost as though the interviewer’s smile and vigorous nodding tipped him to the fact that he’d just been lobbed a softball question with no wrong answer.
“I wish to say to all the American people: I am just like you. I’m honest, just like you. Hard working, just like you. Gutsy and determined, just like you, and I want to take full control over all the money you’ve earned, just like you.”
O’Rourke slipped easily into his justification for being the arbiter of all things personal finance.
“Look, everyone hates billionaires who don’t deserve their money, which is all of them,” explained Beto, “but what most people don’t realize is that millionaires don’t deserve their money, either. And what even more most people don’t realize is that they themselves are millionaires! I mean, say you make $25,000 a year. In 40 years, that’s a million dollars. Boom! Millionaire! Maybe not this year, but it’s coming, and it means you can’t be trusted.”
“On the bright side,” Beto continued, “if you put all your ill-gotten loot into a big pile, I can spend it using an unaccountable bureaucracy. And since they didn’t earn the money, and don’t personally deserve a penny of it, their hands are clean, and they can spend it with a clear conscience while standing on the moral high ground above the shoddy-souled billionaires and trillionaires who’ve ruined this country. And all you have to do to make this dream come true for all of me… um, us… is to vote for me to take control of the vast and often unchecked political power of the office of the American presidency.”
“Sure, it means you really have to trust me, but like I said in the beginning – I am just like you,” O’Rourke concluded, before driving away in a limousine with his billionaire heiress wife, Amy.
[IMAO Ace Reporter Anonymiss contributed to this story]
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< Zuckerberg Buys Alcatraz Island to House Violators of New Facebook Hate Speech Policy
Straight Line of the Day: It’s Elizabeth Warren’s 70th Birthday Tomorrow. She Will Celebrate by…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
It’s Elizabeth Warren’s 70th birthday tomorrow. She will celebrate by…
The Illustrated Frank J: You’re Going to Need a Bigger Stadium
Ask IMAO Anything: Answers #19
Most of your questions sent in to Ask IMAO Anything were already answered. The crack team that provided the answers included:
- walruskkkch
- tankdemon
- c64wood
Bacon to you one and all!
Now for the questions that were not answered.
walruskkkch: Does Frank J post over at GAB.com as Franksalterego? Asking for a friend.
That’s Frank J.’s bot that has gone wild.
wr104: The NBA is the NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION. They just had the NBA championship game. The Golden Gate Warriors lost to a team from Canada. How is it that a team from Canada can even play in a game for OUR NATIONAL championship when they are not from the US?
Well, here’s the thing. While you know basketball was invented in Springfield, Massachusetts in 1891 by James Naismith, what you may not know, or have forgotten, is that Naismith was Canadian. Sure, he had to leave Canadia to come to the U.S. to do something worthwhile, the game still has Canadian roots. And, most of the teams in the NBL and BBA (the forerunners of the NBA) were close to Canadia. And, one BBA team was actually in Canadia, the Toronto Huskies, who were so bad they went through four coaches in their only season. Toronto’s current team doesn’t suck as bad, it seems.
Francis: If I eliminate one mole from his tunnel, will another come and take his place? (Don’t have a magic sword or shape changing fairies to help me, so could really use some enlightenment on this matter.)
No explanation necessary. Your question is legit. And, while it may seem as if there are an infinite number of moles in the ground, the fact is there are only 6.02214076×1023 of the critters in the average yard. So, keep at it. You’ll eventually win this war of attrition.
Harvey: What is Colin Mochrie’s greatest line?
“To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that’s why I just make up crap.”*
Bob B: Is there any more beautiful sound than the Islamic call to prayer at sunrise?
The sound an AH-64 Apache makes is pretty awesome.
All of the other questions submitted were answered. Thanks again to those that helped.
And, yes, there is still one more emailed question that hasn’t been answered. For the person who emailed it, I will be answering. But, timing hasn’t been right for my formatting of the answer. It’s not something I can easily do while traveling. But, the answer is coming, I promise.
Remember that you can Ask IMAO Anything. Just leave your question in the comments, or email us at Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com.
Questions in the comments will likely be answered in the comments; those that aren’t answered, or that may need further clarification, I’ll answer next time. I’ll also answer the questions that are emailed to us.
Ask IMAO Anything. Because we know everything.
From the Makers of Mexi-Cannon
President Trump announced a bold new plan to deport “millions” of illegal immigrants facing removal orders.
If this doesn’t involve giant catapults and a pay-per-view live-stream, he’s missing a huge opportunity for funding the wall.