It’s time get up your smarts. We said you can Ask IMAO Anything, and these are the questions that haven’t yet been answered, for one reason or another.

First, a huge thanks — and bacon! — to those that helped answer some of the questions left last time:

• walruskkkch
• Jim
• Happy Fun Ball
• CLIFFY
• DamnCat
• CharlesB
• c64wood

Now, on to the questions that weren’t answered.

Jim: Are you folks just Basil’s … gatekeepers? I trod several feet to learn from one of The Master’s inconsequential toadies. My questions are real.

Your questions may be real, but the answers aren’t always. That makes it all better, right?

DamnCat: Basil, do you know a nice lady suitable for Jim to romance?

Let me check his IP address. It looks a lot like the IP address of someone who’s been down-voting my posts. I need to verify before I decide how best to answer that. Depending on what I find, I may give him my ex-wife’s phone number.

walruskkkch: I see that my question of what do these 10 people have in common was not answered correctly.

So, despite DamnCat’s answer, you’re saying they have been in your kitchen? I find it hard to believe those 10 famous people born in 1946 have all been in your kitchen. Pictures, or it didn’t happen. The ball’s in your court.

c64wood: Is that really what she said?

She said that, and more. I can’t repeat it. Well, I won’t; Harvey insists we keep it PG-13. But I will tell you that she has a real potty mouth. I like it.

DamnCat: Who run IMAOtown?

You do. And often into the ground.

Oppo: At some point, will the Democrats narrow down their field of candidates and say “That’s our Hitler!”

That’s actually the theme for the 2020 Democratic National Convention.

Jim: Why are the only three things I detest bigots and people with poor math skills?

You should also hate people that cant use punctuation mark’s correctly.

Oppo: At some point, will the Democrats go on a political diet to lower their cluster-all?

They’ve been on a diet for years. And, they’re trying to take the country on one. They feel strongly with a little help, the U.S.A. could lose 10 Amendments, maybe more.

Jim: How can two peanuts roll down a street but only one is a salted?

People know to leave the other one alone because, honestly, it’s risky dealing with one that is obviously a nut.

Oppo: Is. . . this
How
WilliamShatner
.
posts?

Make fun of him all you want. His Twitter feed is great.

Francis: Why do some people’s skin wrinkle as they get older? Asking for a friend.

They don’t have a painting in their attic.

Oppo: If a gun owner sits at home watching TV, do the police issue bulletins about an inactive shooter?

No. Had you said “right wing extremist inactive shooter” then you’d have been onto something.

Bob B: On the 15th of May, in response to Anonymiss’s musing that Basil’s new password was “Cilantro”, I posted, and I quote, “Does Basil have the onions for this?” This query, to date, remains unanswered. Is this beyond the pale?

That was on a “Straight Line of the Day” post, not an “Ask IMAO Anything” post. You can leave as many questions as you wish on other category posts, of course, but those will be answered (or not) in context, but not treated as an “Ask IMAO Anything” question.

I forgot where I was going with this. What was your question? Something about onions? There are a lot of good recipes on the back of a box of Lipton Onion Soup Mix, if that helps.

Oppo: I haven’t seen you yet at any of the champagne brunches or dinners to ask: with the huge distances involved, don’t you sometimes find it difficult to tell whether it’s the geisha girl coming in one of the many corner-office doors, or the manicurist?

One man’s manicurist is another man’s geisha girl. And with some of us, it doesn’t really matter.

If you have a question you’d like us to answer, leave it in the comments. Likely, someone else will answer in the comments — they really should click the “Reply to this comment” link below your comment so you can tell they were answering you. Of course, if it’s unanswered, I’ll provide the answer next time. Because I know everything. I might as well let you get some benefit from all my great, infinite, really large storehouse of knowledge, right?

Oh, you can also send an email to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com and that will come directly to me, and I’ll answer it next time.

Ask IMAO Anything. Because we’re smarter.