WASHINGTON (AP) – Looking to shed the “do-nothing Congress” label, House Democrats proposed a bill that would offer nationwide concealed carry permit reciprocity among all 50 states in exchange for a token one cent per round bullet tax. The bill would oblige all Democrat members of Congress to pinky-swear they won’t suddenly jack the tax up to a dollar a round the second they hold majority power in both the legislative and executive branches of the federal government.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) explained her party’s sudden cooperative streak.

“Oh, we’ve always loved bipartisanship,” said Pelosi, “so we give the Republicans what they want – the ability to travel cross-country while concealed carrying – and we get what we… well, not ‘want’, exactly. I mean this tax means nothing to us, really. And it’s certainly not a deceptive back-door tactic to make ammunition unaffordable and the right to bear arms meaningless. Pinky-swear!”

The bill’s co-sponsor, House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-MD) was hopeful that this bill could usher in a new era of more harmonious inter-party relations.

“Historically, it’s true,” Hoyer said, “that Democrats have only watched out for their own interests. But this bill changes that. With no ulterior motives whatsoever, we extend this hand of friendship across the aisle to our friends on the right. Is that hand actually reaching for a lever that will open up a trap door underneath Republicans and drop them into a pit of alligators? Absolutely not! Pinky-swear!”

House Majority Whip James Clyburn (D-SC) added that there was “really nothing to explain” in his party’s sudden collaborative turn.

“Look,” said Clyburn, “I know it’s a little unusual, but there’s no reason to be suspicious of anything. National reciprocity is an idea whose time has come. Given the ‘full faith and credit‘ clause, it’s a wonder the Supreme Court didn’t make it happen already. And whatever completely irrelevant little niggling detail we’ve asked for in return is certain not the murderous petard with which we plan to hoist every gun nut in America by taxing their ammo into oblivion. Pinky-swear!”

Asked if he’d sign such a bill into law, President Trump answered decisively.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’d sooner email the Ayatollah our nuclear codes,” Trump said while making ‘you’re an idiot’ faces. “But when Democrats regain power, they might try something like this in the future. However, if we pick a rabid pro-gunner to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg when she retires, we’ll probably be able to get the tax invalidated on Second Amendment grounds alone.”

“But don’t worry Dems,” added Trump, grinning, “we won’t nominate Ted Nugent. Pinky-swear!”

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