Old songs are the best.
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Archive of entries posted on 25th June 2019
That’s One Theory
Walmart is gearing up to place thousands of AI cameras in its stores to combat theft.
My theory is they just couldn’t pay human beings enough to watch monitors full of “People of Walmart“.
I’d Forgotten How Good Robin Williams Was at Improv
[The Genie Outtakes of Robin Williams in Aladdin (Rare Voice Recording Sessions)] (Viewer #1,134,347)
These are outtakes, not bloopers. He did the bits right, it’s just they decided to go with other bits for the actual movie.
Link of the Day: Ok, NOW All Those Rainbows Make Sense…
[High Praise! to Genesius Times]
Thousands of US companies celebrating Noahic covenant in June
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Trump Truths: Threat
Although President Trump did warn Iran that they faced “obliteration like you’ve never seen before“, that does not imply, as some analysts assert, that he was threatening to implement Obamacare.
She’s So Happy!
Biden Promises Massive Government Program to Cure Cancer That Somehow Won’t End Up Making Things Worse Like Every Other Massive Government Program
“Now, cancer’s the one where your eyes get red and you sneeze a lot from all the pollen in the air, right?”
“I hate cancer,” said Biden. “I wish I could put my hands around cancer’s throat and strangle it to death. I wouldn’t even sniff its hair while I did it. THAT’S how much I hate cancer. But what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna tax those greedy billionaires and trillionaires and make them pay their fair share. Then we’ll take that fair share and give it to… um… doctors and… researchers… and other doctors… and they’re gonna take all that money and I promise you that before the end of my first term – or maybe my second – we will finally have the cure for cancer.”
“Now, I know some of the doubters across the aisle will say that it will never work, but there’s plenty of precedent,” continued Biden. “Look at the war on poverty. After 50 years, poverty has been completely cured in America. You’re probably a millionaire right now and don’t even know it.”
As Biden paused for breath, his campaign manager, DB Dukes, leaned over and whispered something into Biden’s ear while covering the microphone with his hand.
“Really? Still the same 15% poverty rate it was when the program started? Huh… well, ok, bad example. Now the war on drugs! Home run! Outside of Extra Strength Tylenol, there’s not a single drug in the land. Heck, you can’t even buy Sudafed without more ID than it takes to vote in most states. A complete victory for…”
Dukes interrupted with another whisper.
“We lost? Pot’s legal in 33 states? Wow… Are we at least putting up “drug free zone” signs on the schools?… oh… LESS effective than “gun free zone” signs? I didn’t even know that was possible… OK, so a couple missteps, but now let’s talk about how Obamacare finally got everyone in the country the healthcare they… oh NOW what, DB?”
Whisperings.
“Oh… COULDN’T keep their doctor… or their insurance… or their full time jobs that got cut to part time to avoid offering employer-sponsored insurance programs? Wow! That’s awful! What kind of dipstick would push through something like… Well, now that you mention it, the last 10 years ARE a little fuzzy…. But look, DB, none of this matters. Do you know why?”
Dramatic inhalation, as Biden locked his baby blues on the crowd.
“Because THIS time… it will be DIFFERENT!”
As the audience screamed with an odd combination of ignorance and confidence, Dukes grabbed the microphone and offered his own coda.
“This guy’s an idiot. I’m outta here. Trump 2020 y’all,” said Dukes before tossing the microphone over his shoulder like Skywalker chucking a lightsaber, and exiting stage left.
—–
Straight Line of the Day: The Three-Word Phrase You’ll Hear Repeatedly at the Democrat Debate…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The three-word phrase you’ll hear repeatedly at the Democrat debate…
The Illustrated Frank J: “I’m Responsible Only for What I Say, Not What You Understand.”
IMAO Reader Survey #33
As the 2020 election approaches, it’s important to understand how the various parties feel about topics of importance. One such topic is foreign policy.
What do the Democrats consider their most important foreign policy stance?
- Open Borders (69%, 53 Votes)
- Leave It To The U.N. (17%, 13 Votes)
- Speaking Truce To Power (9%, 7 Votes)
- Other (Provide details in the comments) (5%, 4 Votes)
Total Voters: 77
Loading ...Can I Use My Monopoly EBT Card?
In the latest version of Monopoly, there is an electronic banking system, and no play money bills included with the game.
Even so, Monopoly Money is STILL holding its value better than the Venezuelan Bolivar.