Have you noticed lately there’s been a lot of problems with drugs? Recalls, warnings, handwringing, livers and hearts exploding, etc.
Problems with and/or recalls regarding Vioxx, Celebrex, Bextra, and now Zyprexa have been all over the news. Lawsuits regarding these are popping up all over the Free World, plus France and Canada!
What’s going on here? I decided to find out. After about 20 minutes of examination of the issue, followed by a rather unpleasant evening experimenting, I think I’ve figured out what’s going on.
Look at the names, VioXX, CelebreX, BeXtra, ZypreXa. See the pattern?? It’s the ‘X’!
No, I’m not saying they are putting ecstasy in these medications but that would be bad, also. But neither am I saying they aren’t putting ecstasy in them either. I’m no biopharmachemologist or whatever the the term is for the egghead that would know things like that. But you can’t help but notice the drugs that are turning up bad have turned out to all have ‘X’ in the name.
It’s just a fact. To test my theory, I decided it would be a good idea to experiment with something called “Ex-Lax”. A medication which has two, count them, two ‘X’s in the name. The product labelling said it was for ‘relief of occasional irregularity’. Since I’ve been told occassionaly by friends, family and the frequent total stranger that I am irregular, it seemed like the perfect product to try.
But does it relieve irregularity? Does it? Does it? NOOOOO. I’ll tell you what it does, it gives you a bad case of the freakin’ RUNS! That what it does. RUNS! And relief? Brother, you won’t be, NOT relieved by ANY stretch of the imagination. It is the exact and total 180 degree opposite of any sort of relief. For your information.
Well, to spare you any more disgusting details and to make a long story short, let me give my recommendation. Which is as follows.
Every prescription, over the counter, or under the counter medication with an ‘X’ in the name needs to be banned, now and forever. Furthermore any supplies of those drugs that exist need to be gathered up and burned before the sun goes down tonight. Even furthermore any new drug with X-names needs to be cancelled or, in the very least, renamed.
Also packaging with a more literal definition of irregularity would be appreciated.
This has been a PSA by spacemonkey.