In 2006 I resolve:

To fully and completely obey the law... of gravity.

To never, ever, wake up grumpy in the morning. I'm getting her an alarm clock.

To buy a really funny T-Shirt.

To wear hats more. And to wear more hats. Why does one always seem to be the limit?

To end my contant search for Waldo. He's an adult. If he wants to hide, I say let him hide.

To find a regular feature I can write regularly and become the hack everyone expects of me.

To become famous and wealthy.

To become even more famous and even wealthier still.

To become so unbelievably famous and unbelievably wealthy that I have no time or notice for people who are still languishing at that first level of wealth and fame. People will say "I don't believe you are this famous and wealthy." I won't blame or, for that matter, notice them. It WILL be hard to believe.

To own my own island where I will build a secret lair to launch a diabolical scheme and A) take over the world and B) establish democracies with capitalistic economies everywhere. I figure one scheme should do it. I've done my homework.

To eat more roughage.