So Olivia Newton-John is guest judging this week, and Paula seems to be done with her family obligations.

And the first dog and pony show, complete with added sound effects, is Martik Manoukian. Fuh-RIIIIIIIIK!

Sholandric Stallworth. For some reason, I thought he was going to sing that very well; I think it was his talking voice that deceived me. It was not good.

And then there's the parade of people in Halloween costumes. Yawn.

I really liked the New York auditions. Can we have another night of those?

Marianna Riccio. Oh good grief. They made it sound like she was going to be great because she has a show biz background and her mom was in show biz, and it was amazingly bad. Oh dear no, not the beg. They don't realize how awful it is when they beg. And she went and got her mom to talk to the judges.

And now it's the parade of little Ollie Twists. Please sir, they want some more. Please, Simon, I want a pistol.

Alaina Alexander is absolutely beautiful. Appearance-wise, I say she has "It". She's the first one of the day who can hit two consecutive notes on key, but wow, she's singing a terrible song and getting pitchy, dawg. How do these people pick their audition songs? They're letting her through based on looks and an okay audition. I think they should have made her sing a second song.

Phuong Pham has a sad story about an unsupportive family who doesn't want her to do music and doesn't think she's pretty enough... and she starts with this awful gyrational dancing jerky... thing. Maybe if she wasn't doing cartwheels while she sang, her notes wouldn't all get forced back into her lungs. Simon keeps calling her Pong. He asks how to pronounce it, and she says Phong, and he repeats it back Pong. I don't know why he asks for pronunciations if he's then only going to pronounce the names wrong anyway. Maybe it's time for a hearing aid, Simon. She's not a video game. Oh no. And when they're playing her out, they play the awful forced Taylor Hicks AI song! I do prefer the Weird Al version.