Barack the Barbarian

So will he read his battle cry off a teleprompter?

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29 Comments

  1. As a HUGE fan of Robert Howard I have to admit that I threw up a little bit when I saw this. This idiot and his minions have turned my real life into a nightmare. Why do they insist on turning my fantasy world into a nightmare too!!!

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  2. Dear. God.

    While she looks hot, I’m betting Palin will be the “harpy.” Which just screws with my opinion of Robert Howard.

    I hope this fails. Big time.

    (I am hoping that the “screeching enchantress” will be either Pelosi or Michelle, though!)

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  3. Looks like Sarah’s ready to defend the innocent tax payers of Alaska from the dark tax raising evil overlord of the Democrats.

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  4. I was thinking of parodying Conan’s battle cry, but I haven’t the slightest idea what it is. Help?

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  5. Barack: What gods do you pray to?
    Joe the VP: I pray to the four taxes (Income, Death, Excise, and Sales)… and you?
    Barack: To Rahm… but I seldom pray to him, he doesn’t listen.
    Joe the VP: [chuckles] What good is he then? Ah, it’s just as I’ve always said.
    Barack: He is strong! If I die, I have to go before him, and he will ask me, “What is the riddle of neighborhood organizing?” If I don’t know it, he will cast me out of Washington and laugh at me. That’s Rahm, strong in his office!
    Joe the VP: Ah, my god is greater.
    Barack: [chuckles] Rahm laughs at your four taxes. He laughs from his office.
    Joe the VP: My god is stronger. He is the everlasting tax! Your god lives underneath him.
    [ Barack shoots Joe the VP a skeptical look. Joe laughs]

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  6. Peregrine John… I don’t remember Conan having a specific battle cry. Usually his presence was announced by the liquidy sound of Conan’s steely thews fleshing a sword in his foes entrails.

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  7. No kidding, DE. If that’s the Harpy of Elephant Tower, I raise my trunk in salute!

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  8. Let me be clear: the greatest good is to crush the economy, and drive it into the ground, and hear the lamentations of the taxpayers!

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  9. Reality: the teleprompter has evolved into self-aware puppetmaster, Barak has devolved into clueless SurrenderMonkey. Robert Howard commited suicide because he knew someone would defame his Conan character. First by Ahnold, now this, hard to tell what put him over the edge.

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  10. He’s yelling “I need to axe you something!”

    That axe better not have a tactical grip or any other feature that would fall under an assault weapons ban…

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  11. Sarah The ImPalin’ up against Barack The Barbarian? He’d be sitting on his Teleprompter stand up to his ears.

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  12. So, judging from the cover, he’s a guy who jumps around like a fag when he fights, and will only fight women. It looks like they got him just about right.

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  13. Pingback: Ba Ba Barbarian « Liber Ex Machina

  14. Another excerpt from Barack the Barbarian (for Nightfly)……..
    DNC Chairman: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
    Sorceress Hilaria: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
    DNC Chairman: Wrong! Barack! What is best in life!?
    Barack: To crush the economy, see it driven into the ground before you, and to hear the lamentation of the taxpayers!!
    DNC Chairman: That is good! That is good!!

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  15. Sorry, but when I think “Obama barbarian battle cry”, the image that springs to mind is the South Park episode this week with the “Road Warrior queef”.
    Or Jar Jar Binks fighting the droid army, complete with immediate surrender when confronted.

    As for “kickassistan”, I think Kazakhstan is more like it.

    “Hello… My name Barack. I like you… I like sex… Is nice…”

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  16. The blond Amazon with the sword looks more like Ann Coulter than the other person in the picture resembles that one. Sarah? Yeah, I can see the resemblence!

    Barack the Barbarian’s battle-cry: “Cha cha cha Chia!”

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  17. Well now thats just bizarre…. Who’s going to read that …. that….. whatever it is? They gonna give em away in the prisons?

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  18. Pingback: Barack the Barbarian comic book from Devils Due @ Monitor Duty

  19. So am I right by saying you all prefer President Bush who mispronounced words on a consistent basis and struggled to answer a simple question at the few news conferences he attended?? And despite the fact that the Republican President was the first to push for nationalization of the banks and run the country into record debt, after only ten weeks of Presidency, you all claim that Obama is the one who has ruined America? Please tell me how all of you would fix the economy that crumbled under Republican leadership, seriously, I would like to hear a better plan to create/save jobs.

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  20. 22. Troy…thanks for giving me nightmares. As soon as I read your comment, the image formed in my head of Barney Frank being Obarbarian’s sidekick. That’s enough to make me off myself like that guy in the theater viewing the Watchmen movie.

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  21. Oh yeah, the Harpy of Elephant Tower? Definately Coulter. She has bigger boobs and looks more muscular on the cover. How did she get the cover? I’ll bet Meghan McCain is FURIOUS! Everyone knows she is the new face of the Republican Party, duh. BTW, why does the Barack look like a character out of those old “Mandingo” movies? Is that not going to be called RRAACCCIIISSSTTT? Palin looks great, but, I wasn’t aware there were Opthamologists in those days. HMMM.

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  22. Sarah could have glasses if the comicbook is staged in the near-future,
    rather than the long-past. That one will have to start taking steroids now to get ready.
    If axes are banned, will only barbarians have axes?

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