Slogans for Dick Cheney in 2012
It would be pretty awesome if Dick Cheney runs for president in 2012; liberal brains would probably explode and they’d all die if he won. He could even have his daughter, Liz Cheney as a running mate (“Take Your Daughter to Lead Day”). Not to get ahead of myself, I already came up with some slogans for Cheney’s presidential run (Exurban Jon also has some slogans, but he totally stole the idea from me):
SLOGANS FOR DICK CHENEY IN 2012
“I know what the hell I’m doing.”
“You’d rather me on your side than against you.”
“Experience, leadership, normal-sized ears.”
“I shoot my friends in the face with a shotgun. What do you think I’ll do to America’s enemies?”
“I’m what the Mayans predicted.”
“Heart attacks don’t even slow me down.”
“The only time I’ll bow before a foreign leader is in preparation for an uppercut.”
“I already control everything; let’s just make it official.”
“Torturing terrorists may not make reliable intelligence, but does make reliable fun.”
“If I’m busy being president, I won’t have time to eat your children’s souls.”
“Say ‘Go @#$% yourself!’ to the entire world.”
“Vote for me and I’ll consider not strangling this box of puppies.”
“I’ll piledrive a foreign leader before I’ll bow to one.”
“Probably not going to win a Nobel Peace Prize.”
“KSM will get to plead his case to my shotgun.”
“You want a change? How about a president who doesn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks about him.”
“You don’t inaugurate me; you unleash me.”
“I will say, ‘Mr. Ahmadinejad, tear off your own face.’ And he will do as I tell him.”
“Yes we can of whoop ass.” (assist to Lori Z)
UPDATE:
I should mention my favorite from Jim Treacher: “It’s not a smirk. You’re just not worth the attention of my whole face.”
(53 votes, average: 4.60 out of 5)
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November 17th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
“You don’t inaugurate me; you unleash me.”
Now that’s the best campaign slogan ever.
November 17th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
“Vote for me, give the left a heart attack”
November 17th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Vote for me, I shall destroy our enemies starting with Congress!
November 17th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
“You don’t inaugurate me; you unleash me.”
Holy crap.
November 17th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
* [pumps shotgun]
November 17th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
* “How can you not love a man who preferred to be called ‘Dick’ in high school?”
* Cheney: the good kind of Irish.
* “Sometimes I eat hot dogs with ketchup just to mess with Harry.”
November 17th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I think FrnakJ deserves a post in the Cheney admin just for this post
November 17th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
“Think of it. Me in the White House and Fred Thompson as Secretary of Defense. That’s what makes terrorists, liberals and Hugo Chavez crap in their pants.”
“Four words: Hunting Season On Congress. No bag limit!”
“I’ll give you hippies a 5 minute start. Run, Hippie, run!”
November 17th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
* Cheney 2012: the Apocalypse running scared
* Repeal the last four years
* Visualize no ammo shortages
November 17th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
My God – it’s full of win!
November 17th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Grounded gravitas, not groveling gerbils
50, not 57 states, Demwit
God, Guns, & Haliburton
Sharks & cudas, not Wooks and Zombies
Bomb Iran, not the moon
Employ Americans, not Teleprompters
November 17th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
I didn’t know liberals had brains to explode in the first place.
November 17th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Jon says this about Frank J: but he stole my mint collection of Tiger Beat back issues …so we are even
Cheney Wouldn’t take that, Frank.
Frank? Frank?
Put down the magazine and no one gets hurt.
November 17th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
SLOGANS FOR DICK CHENEY IN 2012
“I shot my friend hunting, imagine what I’ll do to my enemys”
“if you won’t give me a peace pize I’ll just take it!!!”
“the polar bears in ANWAR want us to drill for oil.”
November 17th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
“Who needs Riddick? I’LL kill you with my tea cup.”
November 17th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Dick Cheney…giving non-homosexuals someone to vote for!
November 17th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
I am seriously dying laughing over here. I can’t believe some of these– hilarious. Please put up one up for Sarah Palin’s… please please please.
November 17th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
“Slogans for Dick Cheney in 2012”
“because it time to send that village in Kenya back it’s idiot.”
November 17th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Dick Cheney – He puts a thrill up Chuck Norris’ leg.
November 17th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
“Yes. I. Can.”
November 17th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Heart attack?!? Who said I had a heart?
November 17th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
This post is now (indirectly) getting nods from Hot Air.
November 17th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
[...] can be found at IMHO including this gem: “Vote for me and I’ll consider not strangling this box of [...]
November 17th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
These are so stinkin’ funny!!!
November 18th, 2009 at 2:52 am
Dick, Dick, Dick *tsk tsk tsk* Cheney endorses RINO KBH over conservative Gov Rick Perry in Texas governor race *sigh*
November 18th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Dick is not strictly a conservative on domestic affairs. But on foreign matters, he makes Reagan look gentile.
November 18th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Oy!
November 18th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Cheney / Rumsfeld 2012!
Shoot or strangle… your choice hippy!
November 18th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
[...] Frank J allows us a peek inside the 2012 Dick Cheney movement [sometimes called Cheney X2, with Liz Cheney on the ticket as well], while they generate good campaign slogans. I must say, I am in awe. In the interest of fair use, I’ve just listed a sampling of them. for the whole list, go here. [...]
November 18th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I prefer:
“Resistance is futile, you will be annihilated.”
November 18th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
They won’t Dick with Dick.
November 18th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Every mother in Israel should tell their children bed-time stories of how God sent Dick Cheney to give them 10 more years from destruction from Arab neighbors to get their temple built.
November 18th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
The name “Dick Cheney” sends a chilld down Kaiser Sose’s leg.
November 18th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
[...] plead his case to my shotgun.
November 19th, 2009 at 9:14 am
All this is a bunch of crap for Chicken Hawks. Cheney was a draft dodger, begging for 5 deferments so he didn’t have to go to Vietnam, when other Americans were dying in Vietnam. Chicken when it’s their turn, Hawk when you are passed the golden age of 26 and won’t be forced to fight America’s wars. You people need to become real patriots, if that is possible.
November 19th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Dick Cheney- Draft Dodger Made Good!
November 20th, 2009 at 1:44 am
Well, I guess you could say Cheney made good. If getting killed 4 thousand Americans and draining many, many billions of dollars from US taxpayers while China gets stronger and stronger and more and more wealthy is making good, well you’re correct. Although American patriots may disagree.
November 20th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Wake up, wise up, rise up, speak out!
November 27th, 2009 at 11:26 am
I’m the devil and I know it, now it’s time for you to admit it …
November 28th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Draft Cheney; This time there will be no deferment.
November 29th, 2009 at 10:00 am
“Dick this!”
December 1st, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Vote Cheeney — the only person that can make Bush and Nixon look good!
December 5th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Had enough of the pussy Obama….Get Dick!!!!
December 10th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
How about “Let finish off America, Vote Cheney”
December 10th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
cheney is still a dick
December 10th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Vote Dick. Eternal war. Massive profits to himself, Halliburton and contractors. F*** the troops, let them get their own when they need body armor, and when they get help when they get home.
Vote Dick. The biggest global terrorist and proponent of genocide since Hitler!
Vote Dick. A ‘conservative’ who says that ‘deficits don’t matter.’
Vote Dick. A man who never saw a war he couldn’t profit from.
Vote Dick. F*** the future, and f*** your kids.
Vote Dick. He’s gotten nothing right in 20 years.
Vote Dick. Torture starts offshore, then comes home.
Vote Dick. No one likes a police state more than a war profiteer.
Vote Dick. Who else could double the natl debt in 8 years?
Vote Dick. He hates democracy as much as his MidEastern puppet regimes.
Vote Dick. He’s an enemy of the Constitution.
Vote Dick. Send your money to Dick at Undisclosed Location, WY. It’ll get there.
December 13th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
I’m a fuckwad, but you knew that