Posts Tagged ‘Politics’

Even the Twitterz knows

Saturday, May 28, 2011 11:33 am

All that fancy technological computer stuff that the Twitterz uses knows that the media thinks just like Barack Obama.

Here’s a screen capture from Obama’s Twitter page:

See that down in the corner? Where it lists other Twitter users that are similar?

See? I don’t see anyone from Fox News listed. Actually, I don’t see anyone from CNN listed, either, which sort of surprised me.

When I did a refresh of the page, CBS News did come up. Did a lot more refreshes. George Stephanopoulos, some critter from NPR, and … Twitter.

Which means that those of you who kept saying Twitter was teh ghey … may have been right all along.

UPDATE: Twitter chief picked as Obama telecom advisor. Well, that explains something.

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2012 campaign slogans

Tuesday, May 24, 2011 1:03 pm

The campaign for the White House is underway. Or hadn’t you noticed? No? Trust me, it’s started.

You’ll be hearing all the campaign slogans from all the campaigns soon. If they can come up with some.

I’ve thrown in with the campaign of fellow Georgian Herman Cain, because he’s the most conservative of the candidates. Not a fan of that whole “Fair Tax” thing, but as for common principles, his most align with mine.

But the Cain campaign doesn’t really have a slogan. Not that I can tell, anyway. You got a bunch of the “woo-hoo” crowd telling out things like “Yes we Cain!” during the pauses in the candidate’s speeches, but not a lot more than that.

No “Change we can believe in” or “Hope and change” or any of those greatest hits from 2008.

Perhaps a candidate can win by actually taking good positions and spelling out a plan, but really, this is the nation that elected Barack Obama. Those kind of short attention span people are going to need something clever to get or keep their attention long enough to mark their ballots.

And that’s where you come in.

Help come up with some slogans for the candidates. I’ll start:

Herman Cain
He delivers!

Doesn’t understand “right of return” or any of the rest of the nonsense the Palestinians are spouting off about.

Ron Paul
Not as crazy as Harold Camping, but close!

Chris Christie
Not really a conservative, but not really running for president, either.

Sarah Palin
Go ahead. Nominate me. That’ll piss ’em off, you betcha!

Barack Obama
Not done embarrassing America yet!

Okay, these are lame. I’m sure you can do much better. Have at it.

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Herman Cain answers IMAO reader questions

Sunday, May 22, 2011 9:22 pm

Actually, I didn’t get to ask Herman Cain any of the questions you asked. I lost my chance with the breakfast malfunction. And, when his talk to the breakfast group ran long, the staff cut the photo session short, so there was no chance after breakfast.


Herman Cain did touch on some of the topics related to the questions some of you submitted, as you can see here:

[Direct link]

Okay, that last part wasn’t really talking about Frank J’s plan for genetically-engineered dinosaurs with rocket launchers.

Or was it?

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If a dog did this…

Wednesday, May 18, 2011 7:09 am

Remember when Newt Gingrich was the darling of the right?


He was largely responsible for the GOP taking over the House of Representatives in 1994. So much so, he was Time’s Person of the Year in 1995. And, he was pretty successful as Speaker. There were a couple of hiccups along the way, but all things considered, he had a good run.

Remember when Arnold Schwarzenegger was the darling of the right? Heck, some were even serious about changing the Constitution to allow him to run for president. “Conan the Republican,” he was called. And the “Governator.”

Now, he’s the butt of jokes — the “Sperminator” — after word of his fathering a child with a staffer.

And Sarah Palin? In 2008, to those on the right, it was almost as if the Beatles were showing up. Or Justin Bieber, to you young kids.

Some were saying they wished she was leading the ticket, not McCain. And the Sarah 2012 bumper stickers showed up before the 2008 election was done.

Now? Conservatives are crossing their fingers, hoping she won’t run.

Rather than go on with a bunch more examples — you can supply several, I’m sure — I’ll get to my point. I’m sure I had one, after all.

For each of these — and for those you come up with — we conservatives were like dogs when their master came home: we jumped up and down, all excited to see them. We’d bark and yelp and make noise showing how happy we were.

Then what happened?

The 1998 election and word of Gingrich’s latest affair, culminating with his resignation.

The evidence that a conservative in California would be a liberal in most of the rest of America. That, and Schwarzenegger’s illegitimate child.

The resignation of office, giving the left another notch on their belt, and letting people believe that all the things said were true.

The truth is, Gingrich, Schwarzenegger, and Palin haven’t changed. Not much, anyway.

So, have we?

A little. We’re acting more and more like the left.

If a dog was all happy to see you, then suddenly started baring its teeth, you’d put it down. Or you should.

But, we’re not dogs. The politicians need to understand that.

And, the politicians aren’t those rosy images we painted of them. We need to understand that.

We see something we like about someone. Something they did. Something they said. Something. And we seize on it and proclaim them the greatest thing since sliced bread. Or since the iPod.

Then, as time goes on, the person continues to act like they’ve always acted. And the other side seizes on that. And we pay attention.

Eventually, we seem to turn on the politician.

The attacks on Gingrich, the jokes about Schwarzenegger, the comments about Palin … they’re pretty rough.

Not saying they aren’t accurate or playing off truths. But they are pretty rough.

Politics is a rough sport. You gotta be tough to play it.

Now, I’m not saying we should back off. I’m saying we need to be the parents of the schoolgirls screaming because John, Paul, George, and Ringo are on the stage. We can enjoy the music, too.

And, when John says something we don’t like, we don’t need to burn Beatles records.

We are the voters. We are Americans. We are America.

We need to act like it.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2011 6:52 am

CBS New York reports that a new cell phone emergency service is set to launch “by the end of the year” in New York and Washington … and in other cities by the end of 2012:

It’s called the Personal Localized Alert Network or PLAN. Presidential and local emergency messages as well as Amber Alerts would appear on cell phones equipped with special chips and software.

The Federal Communications Commission and the Federal Emergency Management Agency said the system would also warn about terrorist attacks and natural disasters.

So, how would this work? I’m thinking not too well. Remember when Steve Jobs took down a network when he tried to introduce the iPhone 4? And the overall sluggishness of AT&T since the introduction of the iPhone?

But that’s in the corporate world. I’m sure with the government involved, this will go off without a hitch. I do wonder, though, will you be able to read government texts while driving? Maybe those will be exempted from all those texting laws.

And, we obviously need such a thing. How else will we know what’s going on in our own cities? Just because today, we can get live messages from Abbottabad that helicopters are attacking a big house doesn’t mean that we can know about stuff going on locally.

It’s not like every news outlet in the world has Twitter accounts. Except that every news outlet in the world has a Twitter account.

NYC’s Nanny-In-Chief, Michael Bloomberg, said, “The lessons that were reinforced on 9/11 is the importance of getting clear and accurate information to the public during a crisis.”

So he’s responding to 9/11. And we know how well governments respond to 9/11. Tried to fly anywhere lately? Had to wait while some 3-year-old is fondled by the TSA? Government reaction at its finest.

But I can see the use of this for natural disasters. Those texts would really be helpful:

  • That really bad wind and rain you’re getting? Yes, it is a hurricane. You might want to leave now.
  • That water that’s inside your house? It’s a flood. But don’t worry. Our buses are still parked. They’re safe. You should go be safe too.
  • Those tornado alerts you saw on TV and heard on the radio? Yes they’re real.

AT&T and Verizon are on board with this plan, by the way. But you can opt out. For all but the messages from the president. You don’t see enough of him on TV or on the radio or in the newspaper or on the Internet. You will be able to get him on your cell phone. And nationally, by the end of 2012. In time for the election.

I can imagine that the president will have only important things to say.

  • OBL DED 1MIL DKP 4 ME!!1!

Yeah, I can hardly wait.

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Getting a new bumper sticker, a follow-up

Monday, May 9, 2011 4:00 pm

A little over a year ago, I decided to get a new bumper sticker for the car.

My older bumper sticker was … well … in need of replacing.

Okay, it was a window sticker. And it was way out-of-date.

And sort of lame, as I mentioned at the time:

Now, yes, I know, it’s pretty lame to keep a bumper (or window) sticker up after the election. And I’m lame for still having it up.

But, I want to let people know this: I did not vote for Barack Obama.

Leaving the McCain sticker on was a way of saying that. But, it’s still lame to have an election sticker after the election. Particularly 540 days after the election.

Well, it’s now 916 days since the election, and I finally took the McCain sticker down.

I got a lot of suggestions, both at my little blog and at IMAO.

While some of them were excellent suggestions, I waited.

Well, the wait is over. I now have my new sticker.

It’s actually a bumper sticker. But, being me, I put it on the window.

And, since it’s sticker supporting Herman Cain, I expect I’ll be called a racist, too.

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Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate

Tuesday, April 26, 2011 5:44 am

It has begun. The descent into … the race for the Republican nomination for president.

So far, the big noise-makers are a birther and a truther. Then there’s the big government, pseudo-conservative former governors. You got a couple of quitters in the mix…

Let’s look at this motley crew. And then I’ll tell you about the current glimmer of hope I have.

First, the motleys…

Ron Paul. Or, more correctly: RON PAUL!!!!!1!!!11!!!!! Yes, he’s running again.

He’s the GOP’s Obama. Got a lot of fired-up nutcases supporting him. And he believes some really scary stuff. Sure, he’s sound on fiscal policy, but that whole truther business… Simply put, Ron Paul is nuts. As are his supporters.

Donald Trump. No, I really don’t believe he’s running for president. I think he’s promoting a TV show. Or, at least, it started out that way. But, he’s tying himself to the birther movement.

Let me state that I don’t believe Obama is qualified to be president. Not because of where he was born, but because he is an unqualified oaf. After over two years on the job, he still has no clue. But, he does meet the Constitutional requirements:

No Person except a natural born Citizen … shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

But still, I’ve seen trees that would do a better job as president than Obama.

But we’re supposed to be talking about Trump. And that’s the problem. We’re talking about Trump. He should be ignored, and he’ll go away and play a tycoon on TV. Which is the perfect job for him.

Mitt Romney and Chris Christie could be described the same way: conservative for their states, but way too left-wing for my tastes. Like the scene in Hall Pass where the guys see a hot chick, only to discover that, once she’s seen apart from her ugly companions, she’s not so hot. That’s Romney and Christie. And we don’t need no Hall Pass Conservative.

Newt Gingrich did some good things as Speaker of the House. And he is sound in many, many ways. But there are a couple of things that bother me. While I understand why he did it, his resigning from Congress isn’t a good thing.

Same thing about Palin. She bailed on the job as governor. I understand why she did it. But that still bothers me.

I’m not so much worried about her experience. I seem to recall the left all up in arms over her experience in 2008. The same left that helped elect the even more unqualified Barack Obama. While Palin isn’t the most experienced candidate, she’s far, far more qualified for president than Obama.

Tim Pawlenty might be a good choice. Best of the lot I’ve mentioned so far. I know that doesn’t sound like much of an endorsement. But I do like the guy. He’s one of my top three.

The thing is, I don’t know enough about him to know if he’s a true conservative. His state elected Al Franken, so, yeah, he’s going to look conservative by comparison. I just don’t know. Christie and Romney, I know enough about, and they ain’t really conservatives. I want to know more about Pawlenty. If he’s the real deal, I could support him.

One of my favorites I actually know something about, a true conservative governor, has decided not to run. Haley Barbour said “no” to 2012.

Another favorite, Herman Cain, is a long-shot, but is running. I’m not so much worried about long-shots as I am getting the right man for the job.

Cain has business experience, and a long track record of success. We need somebody like Herman Cain. So, why not get the real Herman Cain?

Despite the glimmer of hope I have in Cain (and maybe Pawlenty) I’m worried. Right now, the focus is on Trump and RON PAUL!!1!!!11!

I’m worried that the GOP is going to nominate someone who isn’t a conservative, and we end up with a choice between a left-wing nutcase, and a not-quite-as-left-wing not-quite-as-nuts Republican.

In other words, I’m worried we’re going to do 2008 all over again.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2011 6:14 am

There’s a news article out of Canada that says Bolivia is pushing a U.N. treaty that would give “Mother Earth” the same rights as humans.

This brings up several questions.

First: Canada has news outlets? Sure enough. But don’t worry, America. They probably aren’t any better than ABC, CBS, CNN, NBC, and the like. Which means there may or may not be some facts to back up some of what they say.

Next: Bolivia? That’s a real country? I thought Bolivia was the alternate universe Olivia from Fringe.

Finally: The United Nations? The same organization that kept the peace in Korea, the Middle East, Africa, Eastern Europe? That United Nations?

Well, now that those are out of the way, I’m wondering about this whole treaty thing. They want to give plants, bugs, and air the same rights as humans.

I suppose we could point out that there are plenty of countries that don’t give women the same rights as men. So, which humans are we talking about? Men or women?

Giving a turtle the same rights as a woman might not be a bad idea. But a turtle can’t cook and clean. So, I’m not sure that giving a turtle the same rights as women is a smart idea. A turtle sounds more like a man.

Maybe what they’re really wanting to do is not give creatures and crawly things the same rights as humans, but to reduce human rights to those of the birds of the air and the fish of the sea.

And that’s good news for hunters. Rabbit season, duck season? Try Bolivia season.

I’m not sure what they’re trying to accomplish with this whole thing. Unless they’re trying to get the award for Crazy Country of the Year. They got a lot of competition for that award.

You got North Korea, who, well, let’s be honest; they have Kim Jong Il in charge. That says it all.

There’s Iran, who has Mahmoud Ahmadinejad running things.

But, to be fair, those guys sort of took over. They really don’t allow free elections. So, those leaders might be nuts, but it’s entirely possible that most of the people in those countries are not crazy.

So, what country could be crazier than Bolivia?

I can’t think of one. Unless you know of a country that has free elections and went and elected a total incompetent with no experience to run things.

Or a country that elects someone who can’t say a coherent sentence without a teleprompter.

Or a country built on capitalism that turns around and elects a socialist to run the show.

Only a country like that could compete with Bolivia for doing crazy stuff.

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Why Obama should get 4 more years

Wednesday, April 6, 2011 6:03 am

The world has changed. Even Republicans — real, official, card-carrying, stuffed-shirt Republicans — are making clever videos now.

[Direct link]

Why couldn’t they have learned how to do this in 2008?

UPDATE: Seems the GOP parody is getting more hits than Obama’s official video. Heh.

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Basil 2012

Friday, April 1, 2011 8:00 am

I’m making it official: I am a candidate for President of the United States in 2012.

Now, before you dismiss me and my political aspirations, look at who else is running.

I’ll wait.

Yeah, see? You got Obama, who, even after over 2 years doing the job, isn’t capable of doing the job.

You got nobody else in the Democrats, unless Kucinich runs. He’s a joke.

Nadar will likely run as an independent or for the Green Party or the I’m-46-Years-Past-My-15-Minutes Party or something. He’s a joke.

For the Republicans, nobody will come out and say they’re running. They want to tease. I don’t mind so much someone that looks like Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin when it comes to a tease, but a Haley Barbour or a Herman Cain or a Newt Gingrich or some other dude? And even the Michele or Sarah? I don’t want it to be a tease. I want it to be a prelude. You guys know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, no one on the Republican side will come out and say they’re running.

Of course there’s the whole Ron Paul thing. But he’s nothing more than Lyndon LaRouche without the conviction to commit mail fraud.

So, we need someone to run. And that someone to run is me.

Let me tell you a little about me.

1) I’m not a Muslim. I’ve been not a Muslim longer than Obama’s been not a Muslim.

I’m Baptist. We’ve had 3 Baptist presidents so far (Truman, Carter, and Clinton), so I’ve got that baggage. At least some of that is baggage.

But, I’m willing to counter that by going to extreme measures when it comes to a running mate. I’m thinking I’ll pick a Methodist. That ought to offer proper balance to the ticket.

B) I have a birth certificate. I know, it’s not fashionable to actually have one of these, but I do. I was born in this country. In Georgia. Which is a real state, not one of those made-up states like Hawaii or California.

III) I served in the military. I served during Desert Storm. No, not in Iraq, but I did manage to keep northern Virginia safe. Got a NDSM for it.

4th) I’ve actually had a real job. No, I’m not a career politician. Which means I don’t have any actual political experience, but hell, Obama’s political experience consisted of voting present, so I’m no worse off there. And, actually having a real job where you got to get up in the morning and hit the drive-through for breakfast and fight traffic and deal with dumbasses at work … Yeah I’ve done that. About to do it again in just a few minutes. So, I understand what all you little people have to go though. And I probably won’t forget you when I’m all big and important and president and such. Probably.

Five) I don’t mind pissing off people to get my way … when I’m right. Dealing with Congress? If I’m right, I’ll hold firm and not give an inch. What’s the worst that could happen? Congress won’t pass any legislation? Like that’s a bad thing?

Finally) I’m always right. That’s the good thing about being me. Whatever I say or do, I’m right. It’s awesome always being right. You ought to try it. I don’t know why more people don’t.

I’m not selfish about it, either. I’m willing to share my ability to always be right with the rest of the country.

So, vote for me in 2012. Then you can be right, too.

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Walmart causes theft

Tuesday, February 15, 2011 6:31 am

Walmart wants to put a store the District of Columbia. Four, actually. Including one at Georgia and Missouri Avenues.

Brenda K. Speaks

That’s a bad idea, according to Brenda K. Speaks, Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner, Ward 4B05. Why, you ask.

No, really. Go ahead and ask. I’ll wait.

Okay, since you asked. She doesn’t want Walmart because it will cause kids to steal:

Addressing a small, anti-Wal-Mart rally at City Hall on Monday, Speaks said young people would get criminal records when they couldn’t resist the temptation to steal.

Got it? Walmart doesn’t create jobs. It causes theft.

So, if some punk steals from Walmart, it’s because of the temptation created by Walmart, not because the kid is a little thief.

Keep this in mind if you ever get robbed. It’s your fault. Not the fault of the little punk that sticks a gun in your face and takes your money or your car. Yours.

Now, aren’t you ashamed that you have a job and a computer and stuff? You should be. Your are the cause of all things that are wrong with this country.

At least, if you think like Brenda K. Speaks.

I wonder what else is your fault? We need to keep an eye on the likes of you.

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By the way, I’m running for mayor of Chicago, too

Tuesday, December 28, 2010 8:02 am

Did you miss the news the other day?

The Chicago Board of Election Commissioners ruled that former Obama chief of staff Rahm Emanuel is a Chicago resident and can run for mayor.

Part of the problem is that Emanuel doesn’t actually live in Chicago. Hasn’t for a couple of years. He says he’s paid taxes there. And that whole selling his house thing? He wasn’t really selling it.

The Board, in true Chicago style, said that as long as Emanuel was planning on going back, he was a resident.

Which brings me to my point: I’ve been to Chicago. Spent days there. Drove the roads and paid the tolls … which are road taxes. Even been to a White Sox game. And plan to go back to see a Cubs game at Wrigley.

Like Rahm Emanuel, I’ve been to Chicago, paid taxes there, and plan to go back.

Therefore, I am a Chicago resident.

So, I’m running for mayor, too.

And, since it’s Chicago, I want everyone to register so you can vote for me. I mean, it’s Chicago. Dead people vote there all the time. I don’t see why being alive should disqualify you. Just tell them you’re a Democrat. That should cut through any red tape.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do when I’m elected mayor of Chicago. I suppose I should think up some campaign promises or something. I mean, it’s what people running for office do, right?

Here are some of the things I’ve come up with:

  • Rename US Cellular Field to Cominskey Park.
  • Daily contests between Lou Malnati’s and Pizzeria Uno’s for best Original Chicago Style Pizza.
  • Every holiday gets a massacre. St. Valentine’s Day has ridden that gravy train for too long!
  • Oprah has to give cars to everybody.
  • Lake Michigan is renamed Happy Fun Lake and is declared off-limits to Canada.

I’m looking for more ideas. When I’m elected mayor, I’ll have jobs for everyone who submits ideas and otherwise contributes to the campaign. As mayor of Chicago, I’ll be able to do that.

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Tracking Web browsers

Monday, December 6, 2010 6:30 am

What’s the latest security issue with Web browsers? Knowing where you’ve been. And telling.

You know how on a Web browser, you can hit the back button and it’ll take you to the page you were just on. And how you can do that over and over? For a bit, anyway?

Well, the browser can do it because it keeps up with where you’ve been. And, some Websites can have code that tracks where you’ve been.

Lot of browsers report where you just came from. Suppose you clicked a link to come to this Website, your browser probably included the page you were on in the HTTP_REFERER header (yes, it’s correctly misspelled as “referer”). But this security issue isn’t that. It’s the actual reading of the Web browser history.

Didn’t know they could do that? Yeah, well they can. For lots of browsers anyway. LikeInternet Explorer and Firefox. And older version of Chrome and Safari.

The report adds to growing worry about surreptitious surveillance by Internet companies and comes as federal regulators in the U.S. are proposing a “Do Not Track” tool that would prevent advertisers from following consumers around online to sell them more products.

The researchers found 46 sites, ranging from smutty to staid, that tried to pry loose their visitors browsing histories using this technique, sometimes with homegrown tracking code. Nearly half of the 46 sites, including financial research site and news site, used an ad-targeting company, Interclick, which says its code was responsible for the tracking.

Oh, and I’m not saying we have any of that kind of tracking code here, but some of you people are freaks. Seriously. I can’t believe the places some of you go.

I do wonder, though, what would happen if WikiLeaks got hold of this information for, say, the president? Or some of his cabinet? So, I did some digging. And here’s what I found.

Obama’s most-visited Websites?

Joe Biden’s most-visited Websites?

  • Trick question. His computer is an Etch-A-Sketch.

I’m sort of afraid to ask, but … what do you think are the most-visited Websites by some high-profile people? Oh, and you may not want to include a link. Or I may not want you to.

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Mood music

Wednesday, December 1, 2010 7:21 am

Columbus radio makes me sad and angry. Columbus, Georgia, in case you didn’t know.

Let me explain. The “radio makes me angry” not the “Georgia” part.

I used to work in radio, back in high school and for a little bit afterwards. I know that it’s possible to play one song at a time, and not have two overlapping so you can’t hear either.

I know it’s possible to have one commercial playing at a time, not have two or three playing at the same time.

I also know it’s possible to have up-to-date commercials playing, not some Halloween Sale at the furniture store running the week after Thanksgiving.

Columbus radio stations, many of them anyway, don’t seem to understand that. The typical listener, I suppose, it just confuses. Me, it pisses off. Because I know what’s happening: there’s an idiot getting paid money (not good money, but money, anyway) to not do his job right. A job that I could do well (the production board, not the announcing part, though I did both at the same time) when I was in high school.

Maybe I’m odd that way. But, think about it. If you were witnessing someone do something you know how to do, and they always screwed it up, wouldn’t you want to say something? Or walk away shaking your head? Or take a stick and … well, you understand, right?

That kind of stuff makes me just shake my head. But, I get over it easy enough. It’s called XM Radio. When I find a local station that is playing good music (doesn’t happen often, but it does happen), I’ll listen. But, when they start screwing up (which does happen often) I switch over to XM. They don’t screw up. At least, not that I’ve noticed.

The music isn’t always what I want to hear. Some of the music from the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s really sucked. But, with the number of stations they have, I can usually find something I can listen to. Heck, if Classic Vinyl or Classic Rewind are playing crappy stuff, I’ll even drop down to the 40s on 4, or Symphony Hall, or something. The point is, when the local radio stations get me in a bad mood because of their incompetence, I can find something on XM. Happens a lot. I can find music to get me out of a bad mood.

Works for lots of people. That’s why they play Christmas music on the radio starting in August. Seems like that’s when they start it.

XM does the same thing. The playing Christmas music early part. I discovered that a couple of weeks ago when I picked Wife up from work. You see, I normally listen to 60s or 70s music. But, when I picked her up, I switched the radio to XM 23 / Love.

You guys know why. Mood music. You don’t have to play mood music for a guy. Heck, listening to music doesn’t get guys in the mood. Just the fact we have dangly parts is all it takes to get guys in the mood. And music won’t get guys out of the mood. The only sounds that might get a guy out of the mood might be a baby crying. Maybe. Other than that, most guys are ready to go at the drop of a hat. Or at the drop of a skirt.

Women, though, are different characters. That’s why XM Radio (and Sirius, on channel 3) has that Love Songs channel. There are some guys helping out in programming, and they understand.

Anyway, I put the radio on Love Songs just as Wife got into the car. Mood music. And, it worked. Seems that, until the end of the year, instead of Love Songs, that channel is now Contemporary Holiday Favorites. Christmas-like music featuring John Mayer, Colbie Caillat, Josh Groban, Michael Buble, and other people I’ve never heard of. In fact, I though Josh Groban coached the Raiders at one time. Or was it Tampa Bay?

Anyway, as mood music, it worked. Only, instead of us running home and getting busy, we went to Walmart. And Kmart. And Sears. All on the same night.

And, other stores on nights since then.

Yep, that mood music really works.

Maybe we need some mood music for other things, too.

If we could find out what radio Obama listens to, maybe we could get them to play songs to make him, I don’t know, actually be an American president. Like “God Bless the USA.” Then again, I’m not sure Obama believes in either of those.

I wonder what Obama listens to. What kind of radio programs gets him in the mood to do the things he does. Does SiriusXM have an Incompetent Channel? If so, they need to change it. And fast.

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Don’t clean up Washington, clean it out

Friday, November 26, 2010 11:00 am

It made news recently that Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal called for Congress to become part-time:

“When they live under the same rules and laws they passed for the rest of us, maybe you’d see some more common sense coming out of Washington, D.C.” he told the conservative publication. “Instead, you got a permanent governing political class.”

Jindal, who once served as a congressman, cited Mark Twain in his proposal.

“We used to pay farmers not to grow crops, let’s pay congressmen to stay out of Washington, D.C.,” he said. “Mark Twain said that our liberty, our wallets were safest when the legislature’s not in session.”

Heck, I’ve been advocating a part-time Congress for a while. But I’d take a slightly different approach.

First, I’d go along with a part-time Congress. After a Congress is elected, one 90-day session, and then adjournment sine die.

I’m not so sure about term limits. If someone does a good job part-time, let him stay at it. With it becoming a part-time job, we might not end up with so many Congressman-for-life situations. I’d skip term limits.

Next, I’d clean out Washington. It’s the seat of government. And, with a part-time government, we don’t need so much going on there. We certainly don’t need anyone living there. No housing. None. No one would own a house or an apartment in Washington. Because no one would live there.

The District of Columbia was set aside for the seat of government, and should be that and nothing more.

Sure, there are a lot of people that live and work in Washington, DC. There shouldn’t be. Yes, it would be difficult to have to get a real job. I hate it for them.

And, well, I’d stop there. For now. I mean, with a part-time Congress, and no reason for a bunch of people living there, that pretty much solves most of the problems coming out of Washington.

But, maybe I’m a little too optimistic. What do you think? What would you do to clean up Washington. Or, better, clean out Washington?

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The difference is … you are getting screwed

Friday, November 26, 2010 5:04 am

Saw a news story recently about a man who hired a couple of whores who then took his money without, um, completing the deal:

After he placed payment on a stereo, one of the prostitutes showed him her chest, but the second did not perform oral sex, Haden said. The women took the money and left.

The police arrested him for “patronizing prostitution.”

This is a lot like the people who voted for Obama that are now complaining.

I mean, many of us on the right told people that it was a bad idea to vote for Obama. But, being of age and everything, a lot of people went ahead and did something really stupid. The parallels are obvious.

Only, while police can arrest people for paying for hookers, we can’t arrest people for voting for socialist idiots. And we shouldn’t. I’m all for hitting Obama voters with a stick, but not for arresting them. As long as when you hit them with a stick, you do it hard enough to knock some sense into them. You don’t want to waste a stick.

Anyway, I don’t mind people who voted for Obama suffering the consequences of their actions. I just don’t like having to suffer the consequences of their actions with them. I mean, I didn’t pay money to a couple of hookers and get ripped off; why should I be out any money?

But, in politics, that’s not how it works. If you throw away your vote like this guy threw away money at whores, you get screwed. Along with everybody else. But not in the good way.

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Sarah Palin can do it all

Monday, November 15, 2010 7:00 am

What can Sarah Palin do?

The better question is: What can Sarah Palin not do?

I discovered just how talented and versatile she is. She can quarterback Auburn University.

No, really. Look:

Source: Columbus Ledger-Enquirer

It surprised me, to say the least.

With her leading Auburn on the gridiron, I suspect she’s completely lost all the Boise State and Texas Christian fans. All 20 of them.

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Job well done

Thursday, November 4, 2010 6:26 am

Nancy Pelosi summed up her term as Speaker of the House: “Job well done.”

No, really. She actually said that:

“We believe we did the right thing, and we worked very hard in our campaigns to convey that to the American people,” she said. “Nine and a half percent unemployment is a very eclipsing event. If people don’t have a job, they’re not too interested in how you intend for them to have a job. They want to see results.”

Asked to assess her tenure, Pelosi quickly answered, “Job well done.”

See? You thought I made that up. But I didn’t. She actually said that.

But, you know, thinking about it … she may be right. Depending on what she thought her job was.

  • If you thought your job was to bring America to the brink of financial ruin, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to make Americans miss having Republicans in charge, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to ram through ill-conceived, unwanted legislation, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to stand there and look stupid, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to bring Congress’ approval rating down to all-time lows, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to help Americans understand that voters in your district are stark raving mad, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to be the punchline of a joke, then job well done.

How would you assess Nancy Pelosi’s job?

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It doesn’t ad up

Monday, November 1, 2010 10:06 pm


Hello? Delaware Channel 28?

Uhhhh. What?

I’m trying to reach Channel 28. Have I reached the correct number?

Uhhhh. Sure, yeah.

This is Christine O’Donnell. I had paid to have an ad run at 11:30, and it didn’t run.

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Now that we know the cause, we can fix it

Thursday, October 28, 2010 6:31 am

They found out what causes people to be liberal. It’s in the genes.

According to scientists at UC San Diego and Harvard University, “ideology is affected not just by social factors, but also by a dopamine receptor gene called DRD4.”

The number of friends you have as a child also factors in, according to the study. Which means that if, while immature, you have influences from other immature people, you become a liberal. Which proves that liberalism is immaturity squared.

Now that they’ve found out what causes it, we can cure it.

I propose that we fund gene therapy projects that will get rid of that gene. Or those with it.

Sure, a bunch of pansies on the left might object to my saying that, so, let’s compromise. We’ll start by getting rid of those with the gene in a small sample.

What say we start with a national test group of 535. We can remove those in that sample group that have the gene, and we can do that on the first Tuesday in November. And, we can have smaller study groups at the state and local levels at the same time.

Let’s try that and see how it goes. If things get better, we can then expand it to the rest of the country.

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