Germany and France have joined forces to form the Axis of Assclowns, together making a cowardly stand against war in Iraq. It’s a feeble attempt to gain attention for two nations no one cares about anymore. What happens, though, if they truly combine themselves? Perhaps they’ll develop a language called “Grench” that makes someone speaking it sound both evil and extremely effeminate. Or maybe we’ll now see well-engineered cars that have a horrible cheese smell.
I know what some of you are probably now saying: “Let kill all the French and then kill all the Germans!” And then there are those who would take the opposite view point: “Let’s kill all the Germans and then kill all the French.” And, finally, there are the moderates who would say, “Can’t we kill them both at the same time somehow?”
It would probably be an easy thing. We already whupped Germany twice, so we have a lot of experience at it. As for France, we could probably bully them into bombing themselves. But I think slaughtering the French and Germans wholesale give them more attention than they deserve. We’re so important and grand that there is no reason we should ever be bothered with hearing their useless opinions or anything else about them, so we should just isolate them like North Korea and then forget about them. Their whines will fall on deaf ears, or, at least, not on our ears, the only ears that matter.
We can even remove them from maps, marking the area of their countries with a white space labeled “Unexplored Territory” with maybe “Because It’s So Boring” following so that no one asks questions. We can also rewrite some history, such as saying that we built the Statue of Liberty ourselves from copper we stole from trolls. Perhaps then one day when our children are asked about the cheese-eating surrender monkeys they will respond, “What’s a France?” And, when hearing about the Germans, say, “Are they actually still around? Didn’t we kill all those Nazis off in WWII?” A lot of people fault us for being uninformed about other countries, but I call it prioritization because so many countries are not worth knowing anything about. I don’t see why France and Germany can’t be just like one of those African nations I’ve never heard of either.
And, maybe we can forget about Canada while we’re at it, though we’ll probably need a moat first or something.
“Axis of Assclowns”
I laughed so hard it hurt. Stop that, it hurts.
I’m not willing to give up high-quality hockey for your imperialist dreams.
Maybe we could get Germany to attack France again and then, after they’ve killed all the French, we attack Germany. That way, we look good and still get rid of them both.
We need a reverse Zimmerman telegraph. Something about France offering Russia something for attacking Germany. As for Canade, I think all we need is to get rid of Quebec. Maybe get them to actually secede from Canada and attack Ontario so we can kick their asses too. That way we keep most of the good hockey teams, only losing the Canadiens.
Frank,
There has got to be food for an “In My World” here:
“Rumsfeld’s Remarks Draw Angry Reactions in France”
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGAHSBVJABD.html
Sic ’em!
We assclowns resent your reckless misrepresentation.
“Unexplained Terrority” is a reserved keyword for the white space above the U.S.(where those horrid winter storms originate). And “Because It’s So Boring” is reserved specifically for Belguim. Didn’t you consult the keyword guide before writing that post?
Come up with another.
Actually, Belgium isn’t boring. It’s quite insanely complicated. But it should definitely be destroyed anyway, no doubt in the process of doing away with Germany and France.
Quote:
“Perhaps they’ll develop a language called “Grench” that makes someone speaking it sound both evil and extremely effeminate.”
I think Estonian sounds like this. Seriously.
I don’t know enough about Belgium to hate it. Well, I know it’s in Europe; perhaps that is enough.
We can rename Canada “Hockeyland” and use it much as we do today, hockey factory/training ground that feeds the NHL teams that thrive in the US.
Then, when someone in the press brings up Canada in a press conference, someone like Rummy can say, “Hold on a sec.. if you’re not discussing the increase in production of hockey skates, not another word.” This would be followed by the inevitable “look” by Donald, and then the reporter collapsing to the floor.
Baldrick,
I think Dutch and Danish are both attempts at Grench that fell just short of success (because they sound too silly to be evil). I guess Estonian finally got it right.
“Belgium” is actually a German word, meaning “A place we go through on the way to invading France”.
And I hate to burst everyone’s bubble, but Belgium’s other language (Flemish) actually IS Grench.
It’s called “Flemish” because of the incredible amount of phlegm you hawk up trying to speak it.
I’m Belgian and I’m proud of it! I know how to speak English, but Flemish is perhaps too difficult for you American trash? We Belgians are not like Americans: we don’t like war.
hmm , I can be very mean to oyu guys. So I’ll be very mean to oyu guys. at least our WTC isn’t levelled to the ground you mofu’s;
regards
you stupid f in idiots
I need ivitation from germany
jesus christ man, what’s your problem?! you stupid americans, at least we have a history, maybe you forgot our role we played at the Yser river, huh? look some stuff up before you write all of your f***ing stupid answers down
Britain and USA are the only countries with any backbone or morals. The French and Germans are scum and always will be. The UN is as much use as a fart in a space suit.
Yo guys,
just read the disclaimer. the writer is just making fun of politics. he provokes those answers just for fun.
greetings from a german that knows the value of well placed sarcasm.
Ha ha you are so stupid, don’t you understand anything, what do you bring in irak? blood, pain, disaster that’s it and you think you are a developed country, no, no america is the only country who left barbaria to decadency without knowing civilisation.
Maybe you hate the french and the germans but you the whole world hates you because you are (except for a small community who think) stupid ,fat and ugly and one day your fatness is going to drown you, you will dissapear like every decadent people.
But most of all, you are full of fear and us , we are not afraid of you, not at all.
Don’t get me wrong, i respect America, but your total lack of respect for any other country displays your so-called “great” country to be nothing more than a tyrannical world dominator.
You are showing your country in a very bad light.
But, as we know, the USA has 51 states. 48 conjoining, and three separate- Alaska, Hawaii, and Iraq!!! The US “administrator to Iraq” might as well be called “governor of Iraq”.
Estonian? Grrrrr, I’ll throw ye to the dogs for that comment. Have you ever heard Estonian spoken? Grrr. It sounds nothing like French, German, or any other snooty Old Europe claptrap. Grr yet again.
Here’s some non-evil-sounding estonian for you.
Oh, and aren’t these various trolls just pathetic in their cluelessness? I mean, invest in a brain. While your at it, get spines as well.
You fat, ugly, stupid americans!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha – all you can do is eat, fart, burb and watch stupid TV shows on your cheap television, that is all so stupid too. I hate United States, for its a country of morons……at the end of the day, haven’t you thought, that you are ruled by Jews, you once again f*** you !!! and I respect them for that…. I hope they will continue to f*** you untill you as a country and nation become a wreck.
ASSHOLES!
Arrogance is nothing but a proof of stupidity and underdeveloped mind.
Just because we’re right all the time doesn’t mean you have to hate us, Irina.
wtf? quebec is canada, jim is stupid… no wonder everyone makes fun of u…
The US? Doesn’t really exist, does it? It’s merely a rumour, a conspiracy set up by freemaçons and other libertarian scum.
you guyth are tho thilly 😛 crraazy thilly peopleth you guyth are nerdzth too.. but the z doethnt make you cool
Frank J.: you f***ing ignorant bitch !
Frank J you are a moron.
People in USA are stupid and fat!
By the way, is anyone selling “USA flag” toilet paper anywhere?
Here are good reasons to hate USA and yanks!
– ‘America’ is equal to USA! Yeah, sure!
– Anti-crypt campaign
– “Bigger is better” hystery
– Destruction of the native american culture
– Disney, disneylands, sissy disney tv shows and movies etc.
– Dollars and “you can have and do anything if you have money”
– 50% of yanks believe that 20% of their budget goes to developing countries! (Actually, this is true, only it’s more than 20% – soldiers, depleted uranium bullets, missiles, bombs, CIA operations, propaganda, training of future terrorists, etc…)
– Fundamentalist christians and other religious crackpots
– Hypocrites: they go to church because everyone else does, they don’t really know anything about their stupid religion…
– Hysteric attitude
– Internet censorship
– McDonalds and other shit food chains
– National anthem, it’s so stupid! Even russians have a much better one!
– Nuclear weapons
– PC, bill gates and micro$oft
– Political system with two parties; just like in the ex-Soviet Union, only worse
– Pollution of air, water, earth and everything
– Power rangers
– Rodeo – torturing animals
– Stupid AOL yank kids trashing the net
– Swimming pools everywhere – horrible waste of water and energy
– The amount of garbage they create
– Their “music”
– Their “culture”
– Their “education”
– Their average IQ approaches their shoe size (in US units).
– Their gun policy, and NRA
– Their prisons and “law” system
– Their racism
– Their stupid sex scandals which somehow lead to bombing poor countries’ hospitals etc.
– Their stupid sex scandals, as if anyone was interested with how many blow jobs their president gets.
– They always grin and show all their plastic teeth out!
– They stick their noses in other people’s business – but only if there is something to gain, like oil! World police, yeah sure! What about East Timor?
– They think their country is the biggest (Russia is 🙂
– They think their country is in the center of the world, while the truth is, that Europe is in the center.
– They use half of the world’s energy!
– “Throwaway-culture” – use something once and throw it away (like their brains? No, can’t be – they never use their brains.)
– US “Army”
– US-ASCII instead of ISO
– “USA is the only country in the world” -attitude
– USA is the source of most satan worshipping in the world !!!
– Filthy stinking yanks never remove their shoes indoors.
– They take a bath but they never wash themselves properly, they STINK.
– Rejection of Kyoto agreement. Let’s see what you do when New York goes underwater, due melting polar ice.
– Monitoring all tele and datacommunications. (Fortunately, here in Europe, we have better encryption system than yanks.)
– Medieval measuring units such as inches and yards. Hey, it’s the 21st century now! Ever heard of science and scientific standards?
– They claim to be “One Nation Under God®”, but fail to notice that even their flag contains occult symbols of satan, pentagrams!
People in USA are stupid and fat!
By the way, is anyone selling “USA flag” toilet paper anywhere?
Here are good reasons to hate USA and yanks!
– ‘America’ is equal to USA! Yeah, sure!
– Anti-crypt campaign
– “Bigger is better” hystery
– Destruction of the native american culture
– Disney, disneylands, sissy disney tv shows and movies etc.
– Dollars and “you can have and do anything if you have money”
– 50% of yanks believe that 20% of their budget goes to developing countries! (Actually, this is true, only it’s more than 20% – soldiers, depleted uranium bullets, missiles, bombs, CIA operations, propaganda, training of future terrorists, etc…)
– Fundamentalist christians and other religious crackpots
– Hypocrites: they go to church because everyone else does, they don’t really know anything about their stupid religion…
– Hysteric attitude
– Internet censorship
– McDonalds and other shit food chains
– National anthem, it’s so stupid! Even russians have a much better one!
– Nuclear weapons
– PC, bill gates and micro$oft
– Political system with two parties; just like in the ex-Soviet Union, only worse
– Pollution of air, water, earth and everything
– Power rangers
– Rodeo – torturing animals
– Stupid AOL yank kids trashing the net
– Swimming pools everywhere – horrible waste of water and energy
– The amount of garbage they create
– Their “music”
– Their “culture”
– Their “education”
– Their average IQ approaches their shoe size (in US units).
– Their gun policy, and NRA
– Their prisons and “law” system
– Their racism
– Their stupid sex scandals which somehow lead to bombing poor countries’ hospitals etc.
– Their stupid sex scandals, as if anyone was interested with how many blow jobs their president gets.
– They always grin and show all their plastic teeth out!
– They stick their noses in other people’s business – but only if there is something to gain, like oil! World police, yeah sure! What about East Timor?
– They think their country is the biggest (Russia is 🙂
– They think their country is in the center of the world, while the truth is, that Europe is in the center.
– They use half of the world’s energy!
– “Throwaway-culture” – use something once and throw it away (like their brains? No, can’t be – they never use their brains.)
– US “Army”
– US-ASCII instead of ISO
– “USA is the only country in the world” -attitude
– USA is the source of most satan worshipping in the world !!!
– Filthy stinking yanks never remove their shoes indoors.
– They take a bath but they never wash themselves properly, they STINK.
– Rejection of Kyoto agreement. Let’s see what you do when New York goes underwater, due melting polar ice.
– Monitoring all tele and datacommunications. (Fortunately, here in Europe, we have better encryption system than yanks.)
– Medieval measuring units such as inches and yards. Hey, it’s the 21st century now! Ever heard of science and scientific standards?
– They claim to be “One Nation Under God®”, but fail to notice that even their flag contains occult symbols of satan, pentagrams!
People in USA are stupid and fat!
By the way, is anyone selling “USA flag” toilet paper anywhere?
Here are good reasons to hate USA and yanks!
– ‘America’ is equal to USA! Yeah, sure!
– Anti-crypt campaign
– “Bigger is better” hystery
– Destruction of the native american culture
– Disney, disneylands, sissy disney tv shows and movies etc.
– Dollars and “you can have and do anything if you have money”
– 50% of yanks believe that 20% of their budget goes to developing countries! (Actually, this is true, only it’s more than 20% – soldiers, depleted uranium bullets, missiles, bombs, CIA operations, propaganda, training of future terrorists, etc…)
– Fundamentalist christians and other religious crackpots
– Hypocrites: they go to church because everyone else does, they don’t really know anything about their stupid religion…
– Hysteric attitude
– Internet censorship
– McDonalds and other shit food chains
– National anthem, it’s so stupid! Even russians have a much better one!
– Nuclear weapons
– PC, bill gates and micro$oft
– Political system with two parties; just like in the ex-Soviet Union, only worse
– Pollution of air, water, earth and everything
– Power rangers
– Rodeo – torturing animals
– Stupid AOL yank kids trashing the net
– Swimming pools everywhere – horrible waste of water and energy
– The amount of garbage they create
– Their “music”
– Their “culture”
– Their “education”
– Their average IQ approaches their shoe size (in US units).
– Their gun policy, and NRA
– Their prisons and “law” system
– Their racism
– Their stupid sex scandals which somehow lead to bombing poor countries’ hospitals etc.
– Their stupid sex scandals, as if anyone was interested with how many blow jobs their president gets.
– They always grin and show all their plastic teeth out!
– They stick their noses in other people’s business – but only if there is something to gain, like oil! World police, yeah sure! What about East Timor?
– They think their country is the biggest (Russia is 🙂
– They think their country is in the center of the world, while the truth is, that Europe is in the center.
– They use half of the world’s energy!
– “Throwaway-culture” – use something once and throw it away (like their brains? No, can’t be – they never use their brains.)
– US “Army”
– US-ASCII instead of ISO
– “USA is the only country in the world” -attitude
– USA is the source of most satan worshipping in the world !!!
– Filthy stinking yanks never remove their shoes indoors.
– They take a bath but they never wash themselves properly, they STINK.
– Rejection of Kyoto agreement. Let’s see what you do when New York goes underwater, due melting polar ice.
– Monitoring all tele and datacommunications. (Fortunately, here in Europe, we have better encryption system than yanks.)
– Medieval measuring units such as inches and yards. Hey, it’s the 21st century now! Ever heard of science and scientific standards?
– They claim to be “One Nation Under God®”, but fail to notice that even their flag contains occult symbols of satan, pentagrams!
“They think their country is in the center of the world, while the truth is, that Europe is in the center.”
In truth, north-central Africa (Sudan and the surrounding area) is the center.
Don’t you see that all this uninformed anti-americanism is just reinforcing the image of stupid Europeans that we Americans have?
And just to let you know, I live in America and have spent a good deal of time in Europe and am quite familiar with European history. I would take America any day, at any time in our history.
I can’t believe you bunch of whining eurotrash cocksluts are still responding to this. But of course, your moron replies give me something to read when I am not busy inventing things you wish you had in your country.
Hmmm… I think someone hit a nerve with this one, eh Frank? By all means, keep going; the responses are amusing.