Before 24 tonight, there’s a preview for Jack Bauer: The Movie. Kim Basinger plays Audrey. I might see it anyway.
Hey, Prison Break has the guy from Fargo and the un-pimped ride Volkswagen commercials. I LOVE those commercials. Especially the “We just dropped it like it’s hot” one.
Previously on 24, Jack went to the bank and got the bank manager killed, Estro blamed Robocop for complicating everything by killing Palmer. Aaron warned Jack that Estro put out a pres. order for Jack’s arrest, Mr. F and SexHarassman followed Audrey, who outsmarted them and called her daddy. Jack and Wayne got the tape of Estro and Robo talking about killing Palmer before. Evelyn? Well, we assume she’s dead. Who knows about her daughter, but I’ll bet she gets attacked by cougars.

It’s midnight, and the news is reporting that Estro wants martial law to remain in effect even though the terrorist threat is over. You know, so he can more easily follow Jack Bauer’s stolen police car, the only car on the road.
Robo assures Estro that they’ll get the recording from Bauer before he can get it to the right people. Estro tells Mr. F to let him be the first to know if Jack is in custody. Mr. F says they’re looking for Bauer and Robocop, and he tells her to put Jack first.
SexMan wants to go after Chloe, since Audrey ditched the trackers.
Jack and Wayne meet up with Bill in a secret, safe place. Jack asks Bill to babysit Wayne, and Bill nonchalantly asks where they’re meeting the SecDef. Jack tells him, because he doesn’t think that’s TMI for Bill, which makes me instantly suspect him.
Audrey goes to meet daddy at his plane, and now I remember the preview we saw the other night, where Audrey’s held at gunpoint for info. I hope she gets offed! Before they can get started talking, Jack shows up in the police car, and Daddy gets hot under the collar. Jack and Audrey explain that Estro’s setting Jack up and Daddy the only copy of the recording, because he’s not a politician or anything.
Daddy says he’s not surprised about Estro, because he was terrified when Estro took office (like we would have been if we’d gotten Algore). Audrey and Jack kiss. Audrey says, “Jack, I’m going with Daddy. This is going to be ok, I promise, and then we can talk about our relationship over chamomile tea at Chloe’s house!” Daddy says “one more thing” and punches Jack in the throat, because he forgot about that day 18 months ago when Jack walked into a terrorist camp (with Marines, of course) and saved him from a beheadin’. Audrey says wah, don’t do that. Daddy says Jack can’t go to the Attorney General with the info because he’ll destroy the office of the Presidency.
Daddy plans to not tell anyone (smart guy, let’s keep it to ourselves and no one will know when we die in a tragic accident!) but is gonna go see Estro about it. I’m sure that if Daddy the pit bull glances one time at Estro, Estro will collapse in a heap of tears and feminine hormones, but what if Robocop’s there with Estro?
BTW, Jack told Daddy that he trusts the source of the recording. You know, Evelyn, that girl I met tonight. She and I go way back a couple of episodes, so I’m sure of it.
Chloe asks the new blonde chick what’s up with the meeting in the situation room. That sensitive girl (I forgot what I named her) is setting Chloe up to find Audrey and Jack for Mr. F. Chloe starts ringing Audrey, and Mr. F and her goon trace the call (Audrey never picks up) to Van Nuys airport. The tac team starts leaving and Chloe realizes she was set up and reams the sensitive girl for it, calling Miles the Weasel an idiot in the process. Chloe is arrested.
And WHERE IS RICO SUAVE???
Mr. F tells Estro they have Jack’s location, and he insists that F leave Jack for them to deal with. She calls Mike Novick, who’s “been on other things” for several episodes. I think that means he had the runs and just couldn’t get out of the bathroom.
Audrey and Jack are tied up together, because Daddy sucks with a capital ucks.
Mike checks out his Sprint phone and goes to see the Veep. He asks why CTU would have been pulled off the Jack Bauer acquisition. Mike is very unsure, and the Veep gives Estro the benefit of the doubt. Mike calls General Warren, who is on his way to pick up Jack Bauer. Scratch that. He tells Mike he has no idea what he’s talking about.
Mike confronts Estro as to why he took Mr. F’s people off the case. Mike also questions why the military doesn’t know about the military operation to bring in Bauer. Estro tells Mike he doesn’t answer to Mike and says that Mr. F shouldn’t be undermining him. Mike keeps questioning, and Estro says a covert team is on the case, you know, so the Chinese government doesn’t find out about Jack and think the president hoodwinked them.
Chloe and Miles the Weasel (who will be hereforth known as Weaselgoon) argue in the holding room. Chloe goes and grabs him by the shoulder as he’s walking out and swipes his keycard. He says, “Don’t touch me! I don’t like being touched by women!” Chloe says he’s not as big a jerk as he pretends to be and tells him that Jack’s innocent. He huffs and runs away. “A woman touched me!” So after he leaves, Chloe uses his keycard (it’s all about the keycards!) to get out of the holding room, swipes a computer from the holding foyer, and leaves through another door while the guard is distracted. Sensogirl catches Chloe, and Chloe says, “Jack’s innocent, but I can’t say why.” Sensogirl says explain yourself, and Chloe says Estro’s the one who killed Palmer. Sensogirl’s like, “Uh uh, I’m reporting you,” and Chloe’s like, “Yeah, well that sexual harassment thing against Weaselgoon was made up, and you’re sick, and if they find out Jack’s innocent and let me go, I’m gonna recommend you for psycho counseling, and you won’t like it!” so Sensogirl backs off and Chloe, in Chloe fashion, stomps off.
Marty goes to see Estro. “Are you coming to bed soon? I mean, you haven’t been to bed with me, or any woman for that matter, in years, and I was just thinking you should come to bed.” Estro blows her off and gets a call from Daddy the pit bull. Daddy requests a meeting with Estro tonight. “I don’t like your tone, Daddy. Remember who you’re talking to.” “Yeah, I know who I’m talking to, and you’re a girl, and you know what this is about.”
Estro waits for Marty to leave and calls Robocop. Where are you? Daddy’s coming, and I’m scared! Where are we with Bauer?
There’s a helicopter.
Is it me, or has Estro gotten a tan in the last 17 or so hours?
Marty asks Aaron what Daddy’s doing here, and Aaron says he can’t say. His forehead isn’t burned anymore. That L.A. plastic surgery is awesome. Aaron wants to meet Marty behind the stables. That will be awful when they’re discovered and people assume they’re having an affair. BTW, Marty played Aaron like a flute in that scene. I thought she was gonna kiss him.
Best scene of the whole show: Daddy confronts Estro. I know you did all this, I know you’re complicit in Palmer’s death, I know you’re setting Jack up. Estro asks what Daddy wants. “Daddy wants you to drop the charge against Bauer. Leave my daughter alone. Oh yeah, and resign by the time the morning news cycles. Tell everyone you’re too stressed. Go get the Veep, I wanna be here when you hand him your resignation letter.” Estro’s like, “Wha?”
But I’m sure Daddy’s little girl is gonna ruin everything.
Chloe shows up at Bill’s, and something is wrong with Bill. I don’t trust him, and if he kills Chloe, I’m done. Out on the show.
Speaking of out on the show, Marty’s at the stables and calls Aaron. His cell phone is on the ground, and she’s being watched by an unseen watcher person. If Aaron’s dead, I’m out.
Jack gets himself and Audrey free and tells Whiny to secure some guy he knocks out.
Jack corners Daddy’s henchman and gets the recording just in time for Robo’s guys to show up. Henchy gets dead, and Jack blows up a gas tank (he really should learn to shoot with both eyes open so he has full peripheral vision).
UPDATE: Reader Philip at mm pointed out the Bluth family staircar on the tarmac. I just went back and watched, and it’s such a beautiful gratuitous shot! They show Robo’s men shooting, then they show the plane Jack’s hiding behind, then pan over to a quick shot of the staircar. Oh how I miss that show. And yay 24!
Robo has Audrey. Jack promises to give up the recording if he lets Audrey go. He cuts her artery in her arm and sends her out to meet Jack. He sees her bleeding (and this is very Redrum-All-Work-No-Play-Makes-Jack-a-Dull-Boy to me – Audrey in her white jacket, blood falling to the ground from one hand, small steps…). Audrey has to ruin everything just by being alive, but no, Jack won’t let her die. He’s anxious for that relationship talk. So he tosses out the recording, and Robo starts shooting. He doesn’t hit anything, because terrorists just shoot crazy and never hit anything. Jack gets distracted by Audrey’s dying, so he lets Robo get away so he can tie up Audrey’s wound.
Back in Estro’s office, the Veep has arrived, and Daddy is standing by wagging his pit bull tail. Estro gets the call that Robo’s got the recording, and as soon as Robo has a ride, he’ll bring it to Estro. Estro hangs up and tells the Veep that Daddy was just about to resign. Daddy says no, Estro orchestrated the David Palmer assassination. He’s led out by security.
So Audrey’s bleeding but ok. Something has happened to Aaron. Mr. F doesn’t have a clue about anything, Weaselgoon is even cluelesser. Robo is breaking into a car, Daddy is out of the cabinet for now, and Chloe’s hanging out with Bill.
Next week: Jack tells Daddy that Daddy betrayed Jack. Jack catches up with Robocop, Audrey tells Jack to do what he has to do (ok, thanks for permission). There’s a helicopter with a red laser trained on Daddy, who’s drivin’ down the road tryin’ to loosen his load. Audrey whines when Jack and Robo fight. Bill tells Chloe to go now, Mr. F says stuff doesn’t make sense, there’s a bigger problem from another new redshirt. Marty throws a fit at Estro, so Aaron must be dead, and if he is, lemme repeat: I’m out. Audrey gets even more pasty-faced than ever, what with all that blood loss, and she pulls a Chloe and gets really angry with a gun and a Robocop. The pres decides to silence Marty.