I’ve been a bit skeptical on how Obama keeps saying he’s “created or saved” different numbers of jobs, but the media seems credulous so I guess “created or saved” is a perfectly find formulation. Thus we might as well apply the phrase to lots of different things.
* I decided not to be bloodthirsty against common nuisances today and created or saved three squirrels.
* By not going to McDonalds, I created or saved two cheeseburgers and a large fry.
* Deciding against serial killing, i created or saved upwards of 33 people (I’m very smart and would not be easily caught).
* By proper use of braking on the way to work, I created or saved twelve automobiles.
* If Sotomayor were a little more careful, she could have created or saved one ankle.
* Cheney’s waterboarding terrorists created or saved thousands of Americans.
* By being a good dog, Rowdi created or saved the cat food.
* In the beginning, God created or saved the heavens and the earth.
* I slowed down in the school zone, creating or saving three children.
* Batman created or saved one city.
* By controlling my anger, I created or saved your face.
If only Bush had thought of the phrase. Then when people kept throwing out numbers of how many civilians were killed in Iraq he could respond with the number of Iraqis he created or saved.
By not voting for Obama, I saved my family from numerous feelings of shame.
Today, I am a hero! By not going into a local school with guns and ammo and Columbining students, I – in fact – singlehandedly saved the lives of countless innocent school children. I wonder if there’s a reward for this sort of thing.
Columbining’s not a verb!
By reading this post and commenting on it, I saved myself from doing work and created opportunity to do it later.
By carrying concealed, I created or saved 20 lives from dangerous gunmen at the CircleK.
This is Fun!
I created or saved chicken tostadas and guacamole last night.
By not donating money to Obama, I created or saved one copy of NCAA football ’09 for my Xbox 360.
By turning off my radio and/or TV when Obama is on, I saved my radio and TV from certain destruction.
By not turning Aquaman into a fish stick, I created or saved the food supply for the New Guinea fishing canibals.
If I crash my car into a building on the way home, I’ll create or save numerous construction and healthcare jobs.
I created and saved jobs at Toyota by vowing to never buy another GM vehicle. Wait – that one actually makes sense.
I created the moon by not detonating enough nukes on it’s surface to push it out past Jupiter. I also created the tides and numerous Hallmark cards by doing the same. I should sue Hallmark and the entire surfing industry. I mean, they’re just getting rich off of my moon. I guess, technically, I own Hawaii now. And any Naval ships that use or have ever docked at Pearl Harbor.
I saved that annoying guy in the office by not pistol-whipping him into a pulpy ooze.
I saved myself 1000 calories by eating a snickers instead of a brownie.
I created or saved my sanity by visiting IMAO today after reading all the real political news. (How scary is *that*?)
By not reading the Emolument Clause in Article I, Section 9 of the U.S. Constitution, I created or saved the impression that Ubama is not in violation of the aforementioned clause through the reception of gifts and honors from the King of Saudi Arabia.
Since BHO thinks some old timey Muslims had some mad math skills, they invented the Atomic Bomb. Well they at least saved it for some Infidels to actually build it. Same thing happened with hippies and soap.
Obama: I saved you lots of money spending because I already spent it!
How many jobs would have been created or saved
by the 49,500,000 people who could have been born since Roe v. Wade?
That’s 8 and a quarter Holocausts .
By post-partumly aborting George Tiller via the Bullet-Projectile Method, Scott Roe-der created or saved thousands of pre-partum babies from the Saline-Burn Abortion, the Slice-and-Dice Abortion, and partially born babies from the Suck-Their-Brains-Out-Before-The-Head-Clears-The-Vagina Abortion.
By not strangling her hell-spawn in the crib, Mohamed’s mom created or saved the opportunity for said Hell-spawn to carve out his own Kingdom of Hell, known as the Religion of Peace to the Dhimmis awaiting post-partum Beheading Abortions.
Being a dog, Ruh-Roh created or saved me the trouble of having to clean out the cat poo from the litterbox. Bad dog!
Being more highly evolved than Dimocrats, monkeys create and save their poo for flinging at the opportune time.(Dimocrats forage for poo, and fling it immediately.)
By creating a drowning tank for rodent vermin(squirrels,etc.) caught in my Hav-No-Hart trap, I saved on fertilizer for the garden.
By not being highly qualified for anything, I just created or saved one job.
By drinking so much coffee, I created or saved three trips to the bathroom.
I am unemployed. By not competing for a job this week, I am creating or saving untold numbers of jobs held by, or soon to be held by, some other person. Well, at least one job. Maybe. If I applied, and if I was hired.
So is Obama counting that other guy, whose job was created or saved by my lethargic unemployment, in his list? Because that was mine, MINE, MINE I say.
By not closing my eyes while taking a piss I “Created and Saved” one clean floor. Just like Obama “Created and Saved” jobs. Damn I’m proud of myself. Just like Obama. :O)……
By being one of the millions and millions of people who never watch David Letterman because we simply can’t figure out what’s supposed to be funny about an angry old man who spends his free time yelling at small children to “GET OFF MY LAWN!”, I created or saved the opportunity for only twelve individuals to actually witness his disgusting attack on the child of Sarah Palin (and one of the 12 was mom Letterman)
When Obama said he will create or save 2 million jobs, I figure that means that he’s written off the other 100-million-some-odd jobs we used to have in this country.
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and i created more clean air and saved TONS of green house gases by not listening to these gas bags (b.o., gore, et al) to begin with – by turning the TV off since jan. 20th, 2009!!!