So Obama is whining about how FOX News is against him, which seems an odd complaint on a day when we find out ABC will turn its news program into an infomercial on his behalf to sell the public healthcare. Also, Bush had to deal with CBS, NBC, ABC, MSNBC, and CNN against him, and he didn’t whine. Then again, you have to remember things are much harder for Obama. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. And not like he can turn to his VP for wisdom. Thus Obama needs constant encouragement for all television channels to keep doing his job.
Maybe we should take some time to offer our own words of encouragement to him.
Obama, I know things have been difficult for you, but so far you haven’t accidentally cut off any of your fingers. That’s a victory right there. And even though you’ve been president for a few month, we haven’t had a nuclear attack. And though 10% unemployment seems like a lot, that is 90% employment which seems like even more. So just buck up and read whatever is on your teleprompter and I’m sure you’ll get through this.
My only advice: Resign.
Barry, your lifelong goals of taking over the economy and destroying the United States of America are almost realized. This isn’t the time for self-doubt just because one cable news network out of all the other television networks in the WORLD seems to be against you. The truth is that FoxNews seems a little harsh, but it still isn’t calling you a FASCIST, like I am. If I ran FoxNews, I’d show films of your speeches and Adolf Hitler’s speeches all day long so people could see the similarities. Then I’d show films of concentration camps and Soviet gulags to remind people of where this is all going.
I guess this isn’t cheering you up, is it? Well, you aren’t doing much to cheer up the people that work hard to pay the taxes so you can give the money away to people that didn’t lift a finger to help themselves. So, suck it up Barry. Destroying the greatest nation in the history of Earth is bound to get at least a little bit of resistance!
Obama,
I haven’t gotten my unicorn yet. Fix this, you hack.
“Obama Needs Encouragement”
My advice: stop doing the coke, give me my money back, stop hanging out with terroriest and crooks, grow up, get a clue, resign!
Barry,
Look at it this way, no matter how badly you screw up at the end of 4 years, as long as you don’t cause the ultimate collapse of the U.S., you’ll have that lifelong pension!
Barry, may I suggest a vacation? The French Rivera is nice this time of year and you could send Michelle there while you take a three and a half year Carribean Cruise.
Barry, may I suggest a vacation? France is nice this time of year and you could send Michelle there while you take a three and a half year Carribean Cruise.
Hey Barack – at least you didn’t do a typo, notice it, and then double-post it on IMAO – the most honored and awesome blog in the universe. Keep a stiff upper lip.
And seriously think about a very long vacation.
Well, more proof today that “The One”‘s family thinks they’re going to live in the White House forever. Catch the last paragraph of Michelle’s remarks to the kids who helped her with her stupid White House garden: http://www.whitehouse.gov/the_press_office/Remarks-by-the-First-Lady-at-the-White-House-Garden-Harvest-Party/
“I never want you to get too old or too cool to come back and see me in this garden. You promise?”
Encouragement Blast for Barack:
Dear Leader, we know it’s soooo haaaaaaaard being you. First, it came out that the job known the world over as the hardest job in the world was “fast paced.” (Those 3 AM phone calls actually happen? No kidding!). But really, how could you be expected to respond otherwise, Mr. President? After a few years as a Community Organizer and a couple as a Junior Senator, yeah, we can see how your current job would be, well, hard.
Then there are the mea culpa tours one in your position must do. Saying sorry to other heads of state IS hard; it’s exhausting and more than a little rough on the self esteem, even for a confident guy like you! Yet it might not be AS hard if your string of apologies had rendered some good effects, such as the “Muslim world” (whatever that means) actually warming to us (they’re not; it turns out 10% more of them hate us than in 2008). Ah, well.
This brings us to another point: it is quite a lot of work, isn’t it, to bone up on history. I mean, you don’t have time to relearn 47 years worth of history! You’ve got car companies to take over and business leaders to bully, dammit. But, bone up, you must because it seems like maybe you didn’t learn much–history, that is–at Columbia, Harvard and wherever else you did your schoolin.’ If you had learned the history that most Americans did, from text books and not Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, then–and I mean this in the most encouraging way possible–you would not show yourself to be so steeped in false revisionism and egotistical dreams as it appears you are. Knowing history tends to give one the long perspective on all sorts of things, not the least of which is America’s rather important role in this century and one’s own rather dispensable role in the world. Just a little history trivia for ya, in case you have a little time to sit back and think. Oh, which you don’t because you are really busy with your big job.
Well, Barack, I hope you feel encouraged. In case you don’t, then let me really get to the heart of what I want to say to you: really like how you dress and you have the sexiest pecs I’ve ever seen on a 47-year old man. And how you order a hot dog? Truly thoughtful and worthy of emulation.
You have done a good job so far of convincing your voters that you are capable of doing anything right. Either that, or your voters are heavy drinkers/ on crack. Not sure which is the more encouraging way to look at it. I am just happy you have not yet gotten your head stuck in a bucket.
Dear Barack,
Hillary hasn’t cut your nuts off yet and although you haven’t managed to kill all the babies you have made a very good start so buck up there little buddy!
President O’Bama:
Close your eyes, take a deep relaxing breath. You’re in a boat, and oompa loompas are rowing you down the chocolate river at breakneck speed. Gene Wilder is behind you singing, “We have no way of knowing…Which way that we are going…And the deficit is growing…”. Suddenly, BAM! You are in brightly lit room with Charlie Gibson baking brownies for you. Keith Olbermann is rubbing your back, Nancy Pelosi is hot waxing your chest while Michelle rubs your…well, it doesn’t get any better than this for you.
Dear Barak, I encourage you to remove the bucket from your head. I encourage you to read the Holy Bible, not the Mohamedan Mein Kampf. I encourage you to ask for the resignation of all your Cabinet Members, fire all the Czars, and withdraw Mayor Soto’s name from nomination to the Supreme Court. I encourage you to support Israel as a Righteous Gentile. I encourage you to listen to what George Soros commands, then do the exact opposite. I encourage you to repent of your position on Pre-partum Baby Killing. This is just my short list of Encouragements To The One.
a possible coverup by the Obamas
Watch this video about Walpin’s sudden dismissal by Obama
Dear Mr. Obama, At least you’re not a tax cheat Treasury Secretary. So there’s that.
“Obama Needs Encouragement”
Not encouragement but a hard swift kick to the nuts!
So just buck up and read whatever is on your teleprompter and I’m sure you’ll get through this.
The question remains: will WE get through this?
And Kelli pretty much summed things up really well.
Barry, my bestest blog commenter once cheered me up by saying “At least you’re not French!”
Barry, you’re not French either (that we know of, darned birth certificate) so smile! Chin up!
Dear Barry,
Please bend over and turn yourself into a Klein Bottle. This way it’ll be official: your head and your ass will be one and the same!
Yours truly,
Jimmy Klein
PS: Enjoy the cheese.
So that’s where all that gubmint cheese comes from!
I admire the masterfull way you dispatched that uppity fly during your interview in the middle of an empty room while sitting on what appeared to be dining room chairs (what was up with that?).
Anyway, I hereby grant you the title of Barakzebub, Lord of the Fly.
Well the networks were in full swing today praising Dirty Harry-O for killing a fly with his bare hands, so I’d say they’re really upping their efforts to help Obama keep doing his job. Lord of the Flies, he is!
Of course Rush killed a fly on air with his FOOT back in ’95, which is a lot harder to do, and nobody elected HIM president.
Kudos on not zipping your junk, sport
He has not yet been zapped to whatever dimension of the universe where he thinks his policies would be a Good Thing. Too bad for us.
He wants “encouragement”?
JUMP! JUMP!
Barry, one of the hardest things about your job is that you are in the public eye 24/7. Not just the time you are struggling to tear down the country, but like, when your having your private time too. No one and I mean no one would enjoy being with that planet of the apes man-women michael and we understand that when you have to go out on those “staged” dates it would make a grown man gag. Hell, it would gag a maggot. And when you publicly proclaim “she is sooo good looking” we know that on the inside your puking your guts out. We understand because we’re puking our guts out on the outside.
So here is the help. Place a paper bag over his/her head and paste a picture of Rahm on one side and Barney on the other. When things start getting sticky and your thinking “my gawd, this can’t be happening to me!” it will give you a moment to just pretend it’s not. Come on man you can do it. We’re pulling for you. You just got to have a little “hope”.
#23 – Anniee451,
That’s “Lord of the Fly” (singular) since he only killed one.
We don’t want to give him Too much encouragement!