Have You Bought My T-Shirt Yet?

It is my understanding that some of you haven’t bought my new t-shirt yet.

I can only conclude this is because you hate America? Why would you not like America? It is a very good country. It has nachos and football (the good kind) and the Grand Canyon which is very pretty. If you think about, I bet you’ll agree that America is a very nice country and that you should not hate it.

Why don’t you apologize to America for being unfair to it by buying my t-shirt. America will forgive you.

24 Comments

  1. Why won’t you give us new Nuke The Moon shirts, Frank? Is it because you are in cahoots with the Moon now? Why do you love the Moon? Is it because of the cheese? Are you really selling your soul, your lifework for cheese? Have you told your family, Frank?

  2. I am willing to take donations of shirts, any and all IMAO shirts and wear them everyday I have school during summer school, which is six weeks. I live in a city that isn’t quite as liberal as Berkeley, but boy are they trying. If you send them to me I will do free advertising as well. I think that would work out well for both of us.

  3. I want a shirt that says “Viva Arizona”! …or maybe one that said…

    “Your skin color has nothing to do with it…… we’re kicking you out cause you talk funny.”

  4. I live in Nashville. If you’ve not heard, we’ve received 13 inches of rain in two days and have EPIC flooding in our downtown. Some are suggesting Obama’s silence is due to our “red state” status.

    The BBC! has reported on our flooding before any of the US outlets noticed (Brian Williams did a nice piece on us tonight). Be praying for our city and state, we have multi billions dollars in damage.

    BBC

  5. You realize that with being a tee shirt vender comes vast responsibility…such as keeping an eye out for crazed Islamic bombers in Times Square. It’s up to you tee shirt vendors to do this as Eric Holder is too busy investigating the CIA to take on this extra duty.

  6. Eric Holder is interested in Black Panthers having the freedom to intimidate white voters, as well as investigating the CIA. The eleventh Democrat Party slogan is : Two Black Panther brother homeys at each voting booth to deal with the white honky cracker blue eyed devil racists.

  7. Too bad about Nashville, Jared. I’ve been there a couple of times and like the town, hope everything gets better.

    I hate to say it, but Marko has a point. I think Frank is mellowing in his old age and going soft on us. He’s probably in cahoots with the Moon on some Moon inspired plot. I bet the Moon offered Frank exclusive moon cheese distribution rights on Earth if he only dropped the Nuke The Moon shirts. And I bet the Moon is behind Frank’s refusal to re-issue the most awesome t-shirt ever made, the Fred Thompson “Puch The Hippies” shirt. The Moon is afraid of only 2 things, nukes and Fred Thompson.

    Coincidence? HAH!

  8. It is disturbing that Frank J is suspiciously silent on Moon Collaboration theories. If he were innocent, he would not only vehemently deny the allegations, but immediately move to reinstate “Nuke The Moon” T-shirt production and replenish empty store shelves.

    His silence suggests we’re closer to the truth than he may be comfortable with.

    P.S. Jared, sorry about Nashville. It is an awesome place and I love the fried catfish there.

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