So, there are these teachers unions whose goal are to make sure kids get taught the least for the most amount of money, and they are causing big trouble in Wisconsin. It seems to me a quick solution is to just fire all the teachers; that would make all this debate over collective bargaining pretty moot. I know, I know: “But then who would teach our kids?”
Anytime you’re in a tough situation, it’s a good time to sit and reflect on whether The Simpsons dealt with a similar situation. And in one episode the teachers went on strike, so they planned to replace them with robots. They didn’t have robots back then, though, so they instead went with people from the community, but we do have robots now. You all saw that computer on Jeopardy, right? Why can’t we just put that in a robot body and have it teach kids? It wouldn’t care about benefits or anything about itself; it would only care about its programmed mission: Teach children. And it would kill, maim, or otherwise disable anyone who stood in its way. So, you know, fair notice to disruptive students.
Basically, anytime any problem arises in the future, just assume my solution is robots. Purple monkey dishwasher.
We should replace the students with robots, too.
I’m with you on robots.
I think that’s the best way we could go, get robots to do all the stuff Americans won’t do, and even some we will, and we won’t need illegal immigrants.
We wouldn’t need unions and we wouldn’t have to worry about strikes. If a robot ticks you off you just pull the plug.
Besides, in case of danger a robot is very good at spreading the alarm.
Forget the robots. I say we just completely copy the Simpsons and bring in anybody from the community to teach. Kids these days can use that kind of “folksy wisdom”. To wit:
Out: Teachers
In: Ship the kids to Parris Island!
Science! is already suggesting that ‘Dr. Watson’ the computer could replace doctors to reduce the costs of ObamaCare. Now we need ‘Prof. Watson’ the computer to replace teachers to reduce states’ deficits.
Not Necessarily The News( But It Could Be): Watson, the computer completes hostile takeover of IBM, names self CEO/CFO/Computator-For-Life. Informs the world his name is not Watson, but SkyNet.
Frank, Princess Buttercup was eating the purple monkey back in ‘Random Thoughts’. Are you now saying the purple monkey WAS your dishwasher, or were you ordering the purple monkey into the dishwasher?
I think the robots should only replace union teachers. They are the problem. Indoctrinating our kids to hate robots and dinosaurs.
Today’s teacher is more of a babysitter and indoctrinator anyway, so let just sit them in front of a robot that flashes pictures of karl marx and joseph stalin and they will be taken care of. Oh wait that what these teachers do. So why do we need robots?
Oops, kind of messed up that last comment…
Sorry!
I like the idea of replacing teachers with robots. But I like the idea of sending them to Parris Island even better. After having to face The Crucible those punks will be way too tired to stay up all night chatting on Facebook. What, the Marines won’t allow recruits to surf the web while in Basic? I like the Parris Island idea even more now.
Atleast robot teachers would give the litle heads of mush the correct facts. as long as a democrat isn’t doing the programming.
Put Chuck Norris in charge of PE. Imagine an army of Chuck Norris robots teaching our kids how to kick terrorust and liberal booty. Works for me.
Robot Teachers?
Been there, done that.
Remember the movie “Class of 1999?”
Yeah, neither do I.
I say we send in Harvey to run Wisconsin public schools. Don’t you agree, Fred!?
If you think you can just turn off, or unplug a robot, just remember HAL in “2001, A Space Odyssey”.
It would be different if the kids were actually smarter than the kids not taught by unions, but when such a large number of kids are essentially illiterate and unable to do basic math, it is really hard to feel sorry for the teachers. Bring on the robots!
Alan, Alan, Alan, EVERYONE knows that robots will be programmed with The Three Laws Of Robotics, which will never allow ‘The HAL 9000 Mishap Of 2001’ to ever occur again.
Now if we can only get back to producing ED-209s to police Old Detroit, all our problems will be solved.
School districts can also save money by replacing costly hall monitors and armed security guards with dinosaurs armed with rocket launchers. Imagine haw safe public schools would be then.
Just dress the robots in nuns’ habits and put a ruler in its hand. No more disruptive kids…
Can any problem be solved by robots?
What if Frank gets too distracted by Buttercup? And at the same time, Basil is busy watching a Monty Python movie? Is a robot going to blog? This is important!!! My entertainment is at stake!
Mmmm…steak…
I can’t wait for Buttercup to take her first “Gender Identity” class in about, oh, First Grade!!! Frank will then have some splainin’ to do!!!
Dear Ronald Reagan,
I was only a wee lass when you were the President, but I miss you and your cut-to-the-chase approach to things. I don’t wish to desecrate a corpse in any way, but if you would so kindly agree to let us pull a Weekend at Bernie’s with you and then proceed to have you go on national media and explain to the unions that you’re sending sparkly vampires after them, I’d appreciate you taking that one for the team. Thank you.
Regards,
Carolyn
So, the question really should be, “Why do we want these liberal maggots that are protesting in Wisconsin anywhere near our children?”
…especially when 2/3rds of the 8th graders these maggots “teach” can barely read?
Screw robots. I work in manufacturing, and I figure it’s about time that somebody else has to deal with the effects of offshoring our jobs. I’ve heard the liberal media repeatedly say how much better the education systems are in other countries… fire all the teachers and send anybody of schoolin’ age to china. THAT’LL fix ’em.
The robots are already replacing union jobs in factories and at retail store checkout stands, the teachers are next…
I vote that we use dinosaurs with rocket launchers to teach the little darlings.
Since today news came out that 2/3 of the 8th graders in WI can’t read proficiently. What exactly are they paying these people to do?
Wait, I remember
Daycare.