Since I’m on vacation and I never plan ahead to get a substitute, you, the readers, will have to write the posts. So get together in the comment here and plot some post to write… maybe something about the debt ceiling. Man, I hope that gets solved before I return from vacation which is… August 2nd. Oh.
Anyway, why don’t you come up with a list topic like “Solutions to the Debt Ceiling Debate” and then come up with items for the list. You guys can figure it out. You’re smart.
Let’s talk tuna!
“You guys can figure it out. You’re smart.”
That sounds suspiciously like High Praise for everyone. I don’t think we can handle that.
Reasons why MarkoMancuso will never receive High Praise
1. He lives in Pennsylvania.
2. He doesn’t weed his beans.
3. Iowa class warships are all museums.
Names for Frank’s next child. Male names. Female names. Unisex names.
4. He doesn’t even know why he grows beans because he doesn’t really like them.
Solutions to the Debt Crisis.
1. Invade Switzerland. They are neutral, European, and have a lot of gold and banks.
2. Annex the Cayman Islands. Get a hold of all those evil rich peoples off shore accounts.
If we need an actual reason to invade them tell folks they had oil or something. Then the world will be like “OK that is just what we always thought Americans invade for.”
Problem Solved.
Carolyn has a baby on the way – we can all come up with names…
1. Fluffy
2. Smokey
3. Chutes Bah
4. Sugar Lump
5. Sweat Pea
6. Honey Bun
Wait. Those are all girl’s names. She’s gonna have a boy.
7. Two Gun Pete With The Smelly Feet
Oh sure, NOW we’re smart. I thought you wanted Ace’s commenters…
Sports heroes, gun heroes, mountain men, and war heroes!
8. Mario Andretti [last name]
9. Dan Gable [last name]
10. Johnny Unitas [last name]
11. Deacon Jones [last name]
12. Richard Winters [last name]
13. Jim Bridger [last name]
14. George Rogers Clark [last name]
15. Nathanael Greene [last name]
16. Jim Thorpe [last name]
17. John Browning [last name]
18. Ola Mize [last name]
19. Baldomero Lopez [last name]
20. Nile Kinnick [last name]
21. Joe Paterno [last name]
22. John Pershing [last name]
I figure, we just get a new phone number under Canada’s name.
So when our creditors call, they won’t be able to find us.
That, or get rid of every cabinet department starting with the letter “E”.
With Frank vacationing, we may miss the latest in frightening monkey news.
Getting up to read the news on the debt issue is like watching a daily a DC Soap Opera “All These Children!”
Its going to be hard to stop yesterdays episode where Republican John Boehner offered a plan that had 1 Billion in cuts in 2012 at a time when our currency is on the precipice and the entire left wing machine Freaked Out! From Wolf Biltzers excellent (if overplayed) “dese tea folks is tryin to starve evybody!1!” To White House Spokesman Jay Carney winking to the Press “of course Obama has a plan but if he showed it they might try to boogey man Polticize it like we did Ryans plan earlier this season!”
I think we all see where the season is heading, China grows more miltant globally, Russia starts arming radical Islam, American/European Illegals grow more militant and no politician will touch them or their exploding welfare costs, Iran gets multiple Nukes start hiding them all over the middle east, Obama whines about Bush, Leftist media in the entire western world obsesses about Romneys Underwear for all of 2012.
At least those were the clues I got from the sneak peak through the TV guide in the chapter called “Revelations.”
Carolyn, I assume the names “Hillary” or Nancy” or “Barack” or “Barney” are not under consideration?
Things to talk about when you’re an American astronaut attempting to hitchhike a ride into space with Russians.
1) Avoid the subject of our once-great space program, they’re just waiting to throw NASA’s current status back in your face.
2) Don’t use too much toilet paper. They may have stood in line for hours to get that roll…just like we soon will.
3) Don’t tell them how good freedom from government oppression is. They’ll only laugh at you and remind you about Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi.
4) Don’t bring your cat along. Everyone hates cats. Besides, the entire capsule will smell like tuna.
5) Don’t bring up WWII – they actually think that THEY won WWII. I know it’s laughable, but just let it go until you get back safely.
6) Compliment them on their food if you can find any that you can actually stomach.
7) They hate Putin too, but they just can’t say it. Best to avoid the subject. Besides, they’ll throw Obama in your face and you’ll lose the argument.
8) Feel free to talk about Muslims. They’re sick of them just like everyone else, and they’re allowed to say so publicly.
9) If they bring up MSNBC, just pretend you’ve never seen it. Most people in America haven’t, so they’ll believe you.
10) Like all other countries, they speak a made-up language. Try not to make fun of it. They think it’s real.
Even Carl Sagan would have been impressed by the US debt. “Trillions and trillions…”
A “Know your enemy” segment.
Immagration reform w/upgrades for the Mexicannon
Generic Republican slogans
Top 10 lists
Vacation locations for the lazy
Bible Study Topics
Spay or Neuter
Baby names-Icabod, Ebanizer, Shilo, Rahab, Deliliah, Peleg, Jehoshaphat, Marah, Bartholomew
Son Of Bob, I read this morning that the Russians are planning to dismantlet and de-orbit (i.e., burn-up) the ISS by 2020. I guess they’ve take over management of it – maybe? Gee, that would be nice. They can take over the cost, too.
Q: What are: NASA, The Space Shuttle and the ISS?
A: Things falling apart.
So what the hell was the ISS for, anyway? All they ever did was build it. “Oh, on this next mission we’re adding a lab! And a foyer and a mudroom! The Cosmonauts are coming up next month with a conservatory and some new curtains!” And then we figure OK, the Shuttle’s gone, so maybe that means they’ve finally finished the ISS and now it’s time to…do what with it?
Take it apart, of course!
What is this, Space Jenga? Honestly.
Anyway…
23) Mxymaster’s Baby [last name]
Is Frank J really on vacation or just taking time to get in touch with his ghey side?
Are people that receive High Praise mentally retarded and why?
Are people that never receive High Praise really cool and why?
Will they find the God particle and what will it look like and will it start smoting them when they do?
Minnesota Vikings – Donovan McNabb…really? Sigh!!!
Texas – Only queers and steers come from Texas and I don’t see any horns on Rick Perry…just sayin’
Higgs Boson – still can’t find him but I’ll bet he’s way smarter than Obama
Is Obama like the best President EVER? I remember the Greek Columns and such and he must be pretty awesome!
Wu’s next job?
New law firm Wu/Wiener…
Balance the budget idea…call special session of congress…super saturation bomb congress building…nuke the ashes…repeat to make sure! Start over with fresh congressmen with electronic dog collars installed on them. If they spend 1 cent over the budget they all fall on the floor and do the crappy flop!
@ ussjimmycarter – “Wu’s next job?”
gas station mascot
Higgs Boson was a high-school classmate of mine. He was one of the Boson brothers – Tony, Dom, and Higgs. Higgs was the studious one. Tony and Dom went around stealing hubcaps from cars. I’d look him up in the alumni directory but I think that Dom stole it.
Name for Carolyn’s boy: Cameron
Because teh hubby wanted another boy so we could name him Cameron, “Cam” for short…like cam shaft…like a car part…cause he’s weird. Anyhow, I’m not having any more kids, so someone else handle it. K-thx.
Iowa Jim, was Higgs super heavy? And did he have a super massive (i.e. fat) cat named Schrödinger who lived a secluded life in a cat house? I suppose we’ll never know if the cat lived or died. But maybe Higgs is still around.
Leisure time fun: Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots or Operation?
Will the upcoming Obama/Boehner showdown occur in the fields of Meggido?
Conjunction Junction: What IS Your Function?
Obama: More dangerous than a Higgs Boson thingy?
Where have all our bases gone, and do we have a chance to survive?
The difference between buckets and pails.
As for names, I like Belshazzar (who would mess with Belshazzar?), or for a girl, I like Jael — the woman who defeated an enemy general by driving a tent peg through his head.
1. “Solutions to the Debt Ceiling Debate” ?
or just:
2. “Solutions to the Debt Ceiling” ?
Solutions!!
1. All parties stop debating and go home.
2. Spend no more than our revenues.
Solved.
Wait. Was all this supposed to be funny? Oh, it was? Okay, I’ll try again later like tomorrow or the next day… or the next… or the next… or
Solutions to the Debt Ceiling:
1) Charge a fee for rock concerts at the Lincoln Memorial, and throw in the Washington Monument for free (long vinyl fan art covering the entire surface – think GWAR)
2) An Americathon!, with Fred Willard crunchy goodness.
3) Really seriously rent out the Lincoln Bedroom, a la Clinton, but take it up a notch (no notches on the bedpost, please).
4) Something involving Obama and Pelosi on a dunk tank and ferrets. I’m still working on the details.
Is that Higgs the Boson’s Mate or is that Gilligan?
If the government is like a bad soap opera…can’t we just get their show cancelled?
I do like the baby name suggestions, though Barack is out. Michelle Hillary for a girl? MAAAAAYBE?
Smart but lazy!
I was thinking yesterday while reading IMAO — Generalissimo Francisco Franco, still being dead, was unable to help today with the debt ceiling debate. Not that he would anyway; most dead people are part of the Mayor Daley Chicago machine, so he’s clearly in Obama’s pocket.
So the main water shut-off valve in my basement failed yesterday and started spraying water everywhere. I’m sure that it was Obama’s fault just not sure how. Can someone help me figure it out?
Dear Hippie Punchomatic 5000,
It’s all about leadership. See, our President is leading from behind… behind the Congress, behind his wife, behind on our nation’s bills, behind on paying our debts and even behind his teleprompter. Let me be clear! Clearly, your valve failed. What did Obama do? Clearly nothing! He played golf on another vacation! When he was done with that, did he offer to help? Hell, no! Your valve just kept on spraying all because of an incompetent President! Did you get some stimulus money to repair the valve with cheap Chinese-made parts? Again, NO! Did Mr. Immelt just move GE’s Health Division to China with the President’s approval? Yes! Did GE pay any taxes last year? Hell no. I’m sorry people misconstrued me sitting on that couch with Ms. Pelosi. This whole affair is clearly President Obama’s fault!!!!
Sincerely,
Newt Gingrich
Since coming into office the Obama Administration has allowed Chinese imports to increase three hundred percent…obviously your main water shutoff valve was made in China. Now lets talk about your pet food.
New post already done Frank. Senator McCain has gotten the back o’ me hand already today. Unfortunately I listened to the radio after coming out of the Captain America movie so I was already in a mood to strike a blow for “truth, justice and the American way.”
John McCain (closet demoncrat), what a maroon!!!!
Since I’m on vacation and I never plan ahead to get a substitute, you, the readers, will have to write the posts. So get together in the comment here and plot some post to write.
And when I said, “Frank J. For Preznit,” nobody took me seriously. Look at the caliber of his reason, the timbre of his rhetoric! Simply, Presidential.
Wasn’t the chick from Top Secret named Hillary? That’s who I think of when I think of the name. It’s a happy thought.
So is the topic sashimi or seared tuna?
Please don’t name your son Cameron, no matter what do you do.
By the way, my friends, Cameron is a Scottish surname meaning “crooked-nose”.
Name the baby Gene Eric, because everyone says a Generic Republican could beat Obama.
The Wall Street Journal says the T party is a bunch of hobbits.
In case anyone didn’t get it, John McCain repeats in on the floor of the Senate.
News Flash John, the hobbits Won.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWUPyr8-IhA
(Message for McCain at 1:40).
Name your boy baby Chad, Everett, Poindexter, Lindsay or Falcon and he will surely be tough by the time he is through with High School having had the snot beaten out of him daily along with head in toilet and nuclear wedgies!!!
FALCON PUNCH!
The next post writes itself. Without a Space Shuttle, how do we plan future Moon nukings?
Iowa Jim, was Higgs super heavy? And did he have a super massive (i.e. fat) cat named Schrödinger who lived a secluded life in a cat house? I suppose we’ll never know if the cat lived or died. But maybe Higgs is still around.
Higgs was, in fact, super heavy. He was always eating, and it wasn’t good stuff. This was in the late 1960s, and Doritos hadn’t been invented yet. Higgs used to torment Schrodinger by asking him to make up his mind. Schrodinger never could.
Higgs’s whereabouts are unknown. I heard that he left the country. That’s probably why people are looking for him in Switzerland.
See Iowa Jim, that’s the kind of thing John McCain is talking about! You midwestern rube you! You need to get more sophisticaty like they are in Washington D.C. so that little Johnny McAmnesty will be more prouder of you and such!!!
Years ago (and I mean in medieval times) I actually had an economics professor named Higgs. Well, the course was actually titled “History of Economics” (if you can imagine such a thing, I took it as an “elective”). The guy was all over the place – and a Communist. I ended up hating his guts.
Oh, and DON’T name the baby Mitt! All of his friends will go to calling him Mittens in no time and then he will become teh ghey!
For a girl I would pick either Sara Palin ______ or Michelle Bachmann ________. Both would be excellent names! Don’t pick Debbie Wasserman __________ unless you want her to grow up to be an ignorant s!ut, or Nancy Pelosi __________ either!!!
Jimmy, my economics professor in college was both a Communist and a Nazi so I really enjoyed myself. We didn’t seem to see eye-to-eye, me coming out of the real world of having had jobs and such…
So far, Gene Eric is off to an early lead with DamnCat’s “Fluffy” as a close second. Of course, if we go with Fluffy and the baby is a girl there could be some future issues, but why worry?
So, who did Frank J leave the keys to? Let’s get this party started. I say we go to http://www.porn.com and find our first link and we will be up and running!!! If someone has the code to the entire website, there are a couple of us that can “fine tune” the look and feel of the whole thing so that Frank has a fresh new home when he returns! I don’t know if it will get through many filters when we are done, but it will rock!!!
Sorry, I didn’t mean for an actual link to be put in the last message. Oops!
Ehud is a good name. Look him up in Judges, kind of a Dirty Harry prototype. He tells a king that he, Ehud, has a special message from God for the king. They go behind locked doors, alone, and Ehud gives the king that special message, a short sword in the gut. ” I have a special message for you from God” is right in there with “Go ahead, make my day”.
@storm1911 – I like that story! It’s the bilical version of “here’s some bullets for your face”.
Let’s go back to the early days of the country where dueling was all the rage. have reid and boehner duel it out(guns, swords, wiffle bats, etc.) and last man standing gets to have his plan approved.
Did you know that there was an age, where the planet was ruled by giant turtles? Actually, there was more then one. This gives me an idea. When we create are rocket equipped dinosaur army, we should also include a division of giant snapping turtles, with Gatling guns strapped to their shells to act as a type of armored force to supplement our lighter, and faster dinosaur infantry.
I know what you are saying, turtles are way too slow. But did you ever see that Bugs Bunny cartoon where he races the tortoise that has the jet engine stashed in his shell? Well, we do that, put jet engines in the shells of our giant turtles. We should probably put roller skates on their feet or something, so that they just don’t end up sliding around on their bellies, while being pushed by jet engines.
@ Mr. M:
that takes me back
Mr. M, the Japanese beat you to it. Gamera, the giant turtle of MST3K fame.
@Mr. M, We had rocket-powered turtles before the government got involved. Suddenly, the rockets had to pass emission tests, and the rockets had to be run on unleaded fuel. In addition, the fuel had to contain at least 10-percent ethanol, as a bribe for Iowa voters. Eventually, it became mandatory for the turtles to receive at least 50-percent of their power from batteries…which only allowed them to travel 35 miles without a recharge. Even though the turtles were incapable of carrying passengers, new regulations mandated that the turtles had to contain airbags and seatbelts. In addition, each turtle had to be equipped with at least one child seat, even though it was against the law for children to ride the turtles. The Gatling guns fired lead bullets, and the argument was soon made that children that were shot dead by the lead bullets could also develop lead poisoning – so the lead bullets were replaced by an environmentally-friendly styrofoam material designed to disintegrate over time. As a result, the bullets were completely ineffective, resembling Nerf guns played with by children. Nonetheless, further government studies showed that if a child was shot by the styrofoam bullet, while not wearing protective eyewear, he or she could sustain eye injuries. And so, the battery-powered Turtles were then disarmed…and that’s how we got the Prius.
Good story Son of Bob. I thought maybe you were gonna tell us that’s how we got our latest fighter plane.
My friends at IMAO, this is John McCain, Senator from the great State of Arizona. I would just like to congratulate your blog owner on a marvelous job taking his blog away from the realm of Hobbits in the Blogshire to main stream Republicanism like my friend Lindsey Graham and I have espoused all our lives. Some of you realize that the Tea Party is no way to bring-in the reigns of big government or era, reign-in big government spending, era borrowing… ah, whichever. Endorsing the Tea Party’s notion to pass a Balanced Budget Amendment would end up having the country blame Republicans for the fiasco of the United States defaulting on our debt and unable to pay its bills on time. So, I’m glad to see you all have come over to our side where we trim a little this year and promise to keep it up for the next decade. This will require dedication and sacrifice by all as we reach across the aisle and to all Americans who want to keep our country great and strong while taking care of the sick and the needy. This also is the best strategy to defeat President Obama in 2012 and return a strong Republican to the White House, one who is willing to make the hard choices to keep our government running smoothly and improve the lives of every American. Thanks for your time and keep up the good work as dedicated Republicans. – John McCain.
I think there should be an IMAO baby pool. How come we’ve never had one? Whomever wins gets High Praise!
The baby’s initials could be CTBS. The CTB would be ‘Cuter than Buttercup’ because that would annoy Frank, and I feel spite for him since he never gave me High Praise! Of course, I now am more sleepy than your average DamnCat, so I’m not exactly witty right now. Still, this doesn’t mean I can’t pout.
Basil and Harvey, since Frank went and pulled an Obama and went golfing, if I give you a due date will you set up a baby pool?
See Iowa Jim, that’s the kind of thing John McCain is talking about! You midwestern rube you! You need to get more sophisticaty like they are in Washington D.C. so that little Johnny McAmnesty will be more prouder of you and such!!!
You have no idea how much I enjoy being a midwestern rube after thirty-three years in Silicon Valley.
Iowa Jim, I understand. I’m looking forward to retiring there after 30 years in Minneapolis! Can’t wait!
You know she’s as appealing as Mao Tse Dung – But when she puckers up I’m all slobber and tongue
Cuz nothing holds a hot nights promise – Like swapping spit with Helen Thomas
Imagine coupling with a bloated llama – Just with a less pleasant smell and a lot more drama
But amid the wrinkles and lipstick and Koran verses – Arabic obscenities and Zionist directed curses
The chin stubble that could scour the chrome off a bumper – And the fact that a drunk Joe Camel would walk a billion
gazillion freaking miles to not hump her
Inside you’ll find the woman with her needs and desires – The passion that burns like a Republican president that
she set on fire
But I’m a guy so no need to explain – Why I would suck face with Helen Thomas and then let her suck out my brain
That’s why I’m called the Big Kahuna – Can’t resist a babe who tastes like week old tuna
……….(Words written but not actually typed by DamnCat) (Sentiments may also be be attributed to ussjimmycarter)
This is John McCain again…I forgot to mention that I was a POW in Vietnam for many years where I was tortured and such. I flew fighter jets and was shot down over a rice paddy. I only mention this because I know a lot of Americans are not familiar with my story of like total heroics and stuff! So, since I’m like a total hero just shut-up and follow me! If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you! I’m currently working with my fellow Vietnam hero Vet, John Kerry to come up with a plan. He gave me a reach-around!!!
To recurse to the top of the list, Jimmy should note that Sadaam Hussein thought Iowa class battleships were museum relics until the Missouri and Wisconsin rained 1,500 shells of the 2,000 lb. variety on his butt. Said Sadaam of the experience, “I wet my pants and then soiled them just for good measure.”
Iowa class battleships are of the Nuke the Moon type weaponry.
@ Carolyn:
watch out – that ‘Cuter than Buttercup’ line would get you send to the moderation gulag if The Great Landlord were here.
Truly there is nothing greater than watching a battlewagon blast away to a late ’80s, early ’90s synthesised music soundtrack.
Keep the debate at a constant impasse until Moody’s downgrades our credit rating. This should make borrowing money more difficult regardless of which idiots are in power. Otherwise, Republicans will “compromise,” meaning give Democrats whatever they want in exchange for empty promises of “happy feelings.”
@Dohtimes:
“Imagine coupling with a bloated llama – Just with a less pleasant smell and a lot more drama”
Revision #1:
“Imagine coupling with a bloated llama – almost as bad as with Barack Obama or that guy, Osama”
Or John McCain. I don’t care if he has medals from ComDivJesus. He sucks!
THINGS MORE USELESS THAN JOHN BOEHNER:
1 – ?
2 – ?
3 – ?
Okay, I give up.
Personally, I like the idea of Carolyn’s “baby pool.” But Frank doesn’t read his own blog nor interact much with his readers, so I doubt it’ll happen.
Burma – Yea, what’s with all the like totally ghey aircraft carriers? They don’t have the awesome 16″ guns of an Iowa Class Battleship! Bring back the Missouri and a couple of others and if any bad guys get out of line, just pound them from 20 or 30 miles away with a shell the size of a VW! I mean how much more awesome can a weapon be? Cruise missles are for wimps! Slugging it out with a ship like the ole’ Miss. is man’s work!!! If Iran get’s out of line we will just park a couple of these babies off shore and they will like start giving us free oil and will pay off our deficit and stuff!
Jimmy…ahhhhhhhhh…that was a shot at Frank J!!! No High Praise for you ma’ boy!!!
I like Ehud the best ever for Carolyn’s baby. Male or Female it would rock!
Would Railgun work as well for a boy as it would for a girl?
@SOB: Permit me to rephrase your thoughtful posting.
Things more useful than John Boehner:
1) Stagnant water in my wheelbarrow.
2) Stinky, rotting cabbage leaves on my compost heap.
3) A dead raccoon.
(Eye, ussjimmycarter, eye.)
@Mr. M: Good call with the roller skates. Remember, turtles are nature’s suction cups. Learned that from Raul’s Wild Kingdom.
Solution to debt crisis:
Since the very name “debt crisis” implies it’s a crisis of, well, debt, let’s get everybody who had any part in directly authorizing the spending of money we didn’t have at the time (I’m thinking Congress, President, heads of departments, etc.), all rounded up, kick them out of an airplane over the Pacific Ocean at 50,000 feet without parachutes, and voilà, problem solved.
@Jeff H.
Good plan, we just did something similar to a guy who caused major damage to our country. He was thrown from a carrier deck. Though, he had a bedsheet that might have been used as a parachute, the holes in his face sorta prevented that. Seems like it should be SOP. “You suck!” *splash*
Glitterbombs, but, replace glitter with honey badgers. Badgerbomb! I’m not sure how it fixes the debt, but it will definitely act as a deterrent to future spending idiocy.
Ehud Railgun works for me.
How about we throw everyone responsible for the debt crisis into a room and set the heat at 100 degrees. Every time someone mentions a tax increase we turn the temperature up 20 degrees and every time they mention spending cuts we turn the temperature down 10 degrees. They cannot leave without a deal and Obama must be present. (If I were him I”d bring the wife, possibly she could sweat a few pounds off that ginourmous ass!)
A good plan would be to steal all of the ink out of all the pens in every government office. Then they can’t write the checks.
Jimmy, don’t worry! Like you said, Frank never reads this tripe written by all us little people anyway. I’m sure he has a Bantha_Fodder pop-up that notifies him of all of the clever things coming in from his fav! As for the rest of the rubes, he ain’t going down 80 comments…guaranteed!!!
Dohtimes!!! Hey kitty…I think we have been brutally and nastily setup for no apparent reason and I believe this calls for war!!!
Well, Jeff, that means we don’t get to use the MexiCannon, but these are desperate times.
@storm1911 – The government can go digital with the checks.
What if the military “accidentally” dropped some bombs on every power plant in and around DC?
No power, no internet…no POWER.
Leave them in the dark for a bit. Only a temporary solution, however.
I think this is all a ploy by Frank J. to get the most blog comments on one post EVER. Look at me. Commenting. For the first time in…a couple years, I think.
While I am commenting I would just like to let you all know that you’re hilarious and I love reading your comments.
When Ehud Railgun walks into DC, all the congressmen will hide under their desks like its a ’59 air-raid shelter drill.
Solve the debt crisis ? All political campaign donations go to paying down the debt until it is zero. Bet the pols would stop spending borrowed money to get those slush funds back.
Yay, I got moderated. Maybe I’ll be one hundred and First!!
Thanks to all the IMAO regulars . You guys are a blast. Frnak should pay you something out of the dollar he got from the last Bleg-o-thon. Thanks for the laughs Frank J.
Well I figure FrankJ won’t set the pool up, but I’d bet Basil would. Oh, and Ehud Railgun will be walking into the White House for a tour next month with any luck. Maybe he/she will send out some magical conservative brainwaves via the amniotic stuff and leave the powers that be in that place a little smarter afterwards.
Ah, the power of amniotic vibes. I can feel ’em vibrating the electrons arriving at my house and exciting my little liquid crystals. (Actually, the electrons are going woosh – woosh, back and forth and they make my monitor electrons go in a circle, alternately getting tired and excited again… never mind… it’s the debt crisis…)
August 28. If I win, do I get High Carolyn Praise?
Is this self-serve? Sorry, I’ll try back tomorrow.
You get High Carolyn Praise if you win, but I should tell you now that a tentative due date has been set for early March so I really hope you’re wrong about that whole August 28 thing. Tentative due date: March 3, 2011. Might get revamped on 8/4.
“Oh, and Ehud Railgun will be walking into the White House for a tour next month with any luck.”
I was queuing off of that sentence as a hint-hint, Carolyn. False start!! Can I get a new pick, please?
Oh no, I definitely meant he’s walking in via my belly. For you Jimmy? You can get another pick. What’re Basil and Harvey doing instead of setting up the poll? Having a life offline? Pfft.
I’m only in if the winner gets to name the baby.
Carolyn, ordinarily I’m a Burmashave fan but something is wrong here! What if he names your baby after an 85-year-old shaving cream?! Gaaah!
Also Gaah: McCain just popped-up on the TV news and I had to turn it off.
Hey, I’m a hundred and one.
I don’t know what we’re talking about anymore.
Babies, cats, shaving, battleships, who knows?
Whose kid are we naming? Jimmy’s? If it’s Jimmy’s, we’ll name him Potato or Russet. Is it some dame’s kid? If it’s some dame’s kid, we’ll name him Frank.
Frank’s a good name. Frank sounds like the kind of guy who can use terms like “dame” without any sort of reservation.
I wonder if John Boehner cries when he can’t get the votes, or does he only cry when he talks about himself? Lately, when I think about John Boehner I feel a little like crying as well.
Random thought: What exactly is the difference between Boehner’s bill and Reid’s bill?
@Marko, At this point, what’s the difference between Boehner and Reid?
I don’t know what we’re talking about either, Marko, but we’ve gotten the comment count up over 100 though we haven’t made much headway on Frank’s assignment. So, maybe we are not smart.
Try not to think about Boehner, SOB. If his vote fails, he might find himself replaced as Speaker.
@Jimmy, Remember, in Washington utter ineptness and failure is a career booster. Boehner was so awful during the bailout debacle that he was elected unanimously as Minority Leader the following time. If he fails much more, he’ll not only be encouraged to continue on as Speaker by his fellow RINO’s, you may actually start to hear pleading from them for him to become the Republican presidential candidate.
Well, I suppose that’s possible, SOB. But getting back to the issue, since the Senate won’t pass any bill originating in the House (and the President would veto it anyway), I think he should just punt the ball and walk away. The US won’t default on its debts – not at this juncture, anyway. Would could happen is a massive spending emergency as the Administration has to prioritize whose salaries to pay and who to lay off or furlough. We’re taking in about $2.4T / year or $200B / month. It’s not enough to run the government as currently staffed and budgeted. So, no debt ceiling increase will forces the President and Congress to deal with running the government within its means. It has to happen eventually. I think now would be a good time – in fact, the sooner we do it, the less painful it will be.
MarcoMancuso – Here’s some battleship news for you.
http://www.youtube.com/battleshipmovie/
Looks like a hoot; I can’t wait!
Gene Eric Ehud Railgun?
I’ve been reading over at Ace. They’re tearing each other apart over there.
I agree with you Jimmy. The question that everyone should be demanding an answer to is: If they refuse to change the way Washington spends money now, in the midst of a crisis as the result of too much spending, then when will they?
Ditto Son of Bob.
And another one!
If you (the Gene Eric you) didn’t know this was coming back in 2008/2009 when the spending accelerated under Obama / Pelosi / Reid, the question is, why didn’t you?
We aint’ seen nothin’ yet. Nothin.
Who was it that said, “The law of supply and demand is not to be conned.” ?
Oh, yeah!
Economics trumps politics.
Carolyn…so, you are doing the dirty deeds of the Dems and Repub. now! Set a date for the grand event and then leave yourself open for some wiggle room! We’ve all seen this before. Just another non-committal RINO! You need to be shunned, but since you are pregnant, I don’t think anyone here has the stones for it! So when will you be announcing me as the winner of High Praise for my suggestion of Steve for a Boy and Stephanie for a girl? Both would be excellent names. Steve is a like super massive manly name that produces huge amounts of testasterone in your little man and turns him into the type of guy who harkens back to the day when “men were men and women were glad of it”!
Carolyn – given the fact that your baby will be expected to pay off our national debt maybe you should name him “IOU” – or for a girl “Promissory Note”.
wow NASA’s starting to have a garage sale. I wonder why?
http://gsaauctions.gov/gsaauctions/aucbystate/
Obama is speaking now. He just said “… any solution to avoid default must be bipartisan.” Well welcome to the party, Prez. Kindly go play with the little party favors in the corner.
What if they held a debt ceiling vote and nobody came?
Boehner: “Where are my people? I told them to get their asses in line!”
Reid: “My constituents will not stand for this! This is irresponsible! Damn the Republicans!”
Obama: “How can they do this? They’re AWOL. Lock ’em out!”
Boehner: “Mr. President, we NEED them here. We can’t lock them out.”
Pelosi: “Don’t they know we’re trying to save the world as we know it?”
Boehner: “Nancy, maybe the world you think know is bankrupt. Just sayin’.”
Obama: “I will not tolerate this. I’m taking matters into my own hands. Get Geithner on the phone.”
McCain: “Damn the Tea Party Hobbits!!”
Boehner: “Shut-up, John. You’re an IDIOT.”
Bill O’Reilly: “Yep. There goes Washington again. No one’s lookin’ out for the folks.”
Hannity: “Shut-up, Bill. You’re an IDIOT.”
@ CarolynthePregnant
Obama: “… any solution to avoid default must be bipartisan.”
Uh, yeah…GOP House, Dem Senate…duh.
Thank you, President Present.
Look at me, ma!
BOTTOM OF THE PAGE!
Ha! Not quite Burma.
Foiled again!
I got a good laugh out of that…good one Burma.
Last post!
Ha…I knew if I waited long enough no one would check here.
First! (on page 2)
Page two? There’s a page two?