I was about to enter Arby’s, but Ryan Gosling tackled me.
WOMAN: “I’d like a job.”
OBAMA: “Here’s some birth control. Now have some sex and shut up!”
Just watched the Community from last Thursday. Crazy awesome.
Statement from Augusta Golf Club: “Leave us alone; chicks ruin everything. Except sex.”
BREAKING: Obama has issued a statement stating that the “No Homers Club” should admit more than one Homer.
Anyone know my wife’s middle name? I’ve known her so long, I’m embarrassed to ask her.
I’m pretty sure Buttercup’s first name is either “Princess” or “Peanut.”
Strangely not interested in religious advice from a guy so confused by Sarah Palin’s uterus.
I don’t get why so many flags are just three stripes of colors. Seems like you’d want to spend more time designing your national flag than that.
Just watched Hanna, a comedy based around Cate Blanchett trying to do a Southern accent.
I’ve started reading the first Game of Thrones book. Don’t spoil it by talking about the TV show.
Polo somehow manages looking both effete and crazy dangerous at the same time.
Are you positive that the membership at August actually likes their sex to involve women?
WOMAN: “I’d like a job.”
OBAMA: “Here’s some birth control. Now have some sex and shut up!”
and if money changes hands, it’s a job(!) So hey, Obama really does create jobs… his way…
You want to know your wife’s middle name? Why? Shoot I don’t even remember her first one. I call her “Honey” and “Baby”. If for some reason I need to know more than that I guess I check the mail or look for some legal documents. Hey Honey where do we keep are legal stuff filed?
“Anyone know my wife’s middle name?”
It’s not Kay?
OOPS that would be my wife’s first name not your wife’s name. I should have wrote “I don’t even remember MY wife’s first name.
Moderate please
[No, it was too dirty. -Ed.]
the US flag has 3 colors AND stars.
The Canadian flag has 2 colors (that commie Trudeau dropped the blue stuff back in the ’60’s) .. AND a maple leaf (they tried for a beaver, but someone thought that was too suggestive)
The “J” in Frank J.
Is that like a “Men In Black” name?
Flash your neuralizer once for yes, twice for no. And stop flashing your wife with that flashy thingy!
I’m pretty sure Buttercup’s first name is either “Princess” or “Peanut.”
I’ve always assumed that it was “Poor”, or perhaps “PoorLittle”.
Explanation here, since hardly anybody experiences Gilbert and Sullivan anymore:
Can I spoil Game of Thrones by talking about the book instead of the tv series?
(semi serious) SPOILER ALERT***
Everybody dies. Seriously, like half the charcters introduced in the first few chapters of the book are dead by the end of the third book. And the characters that you really, really, really want to die are mostly still alive. That’s pretty much why I gave up on that series.
“Statement from Augusta Golf Club: ‘Leave us alone; chicks ruin everything. Except sex.'”
Statement from Barney Frank: “Weave me awone; chicks wuin evewything. Especiawy sex.”
Polo would be more entertaining and accessible to blue collar types if Golf Carts, Go-Karts and/or Riding Lawn Mowers replaced horses.
Women don’t need to swat balls with long curve headed sticks. They get enough practice when their husbands or boyfriends or both, mess up.
Wouldn’t the many Ball Washing Stations at Augusta need to be re-named if women were allowed to play?
The Canadian flag should replace the Maple Leaf with the phrase ‘Eh?’.
INCEST!
By the way, your wife’s middle name is something terrible like Summer. Hippy.
The Augusta groundskeepers are trying to prevent an infestation of cooties. And those little red tee markers.
Harvey – should take up a collection for the SarahK Defense Fund or the MarkoMancuso Memorial Fund?
Marko,
Possible. If she’s never told him it’s not good. Could be one of those ancient family names like “Trudy” or “Martha.”
The “No Homers Club?” Oh, you mean the Chicago Cubs.
I think Sarah’s middle name is “Kiddo.”
I think that the nations with the three stripes of color go so used to being conqured that when they got around to designing a new flag they thought “what’s the point. We will be conqured again shortly and have a new flag anyway.” Then they didn’t get conqured and were stuck with a boring flag and were too embarrased to change it.
Game of Thrones spoiler: Al Bundy and Archie Bunker flush at the same time. That’s it. Game, set, scratch.
check her driver’s license.
I thought Buttercup’s first name was Reese. Her middle name is Peanut.
By deduction I think we can assume that SaraK’s middle name begins with K. She probably hasn’t told you what it is because it rhymes in an embarrassingly singsong way with Flemming.
Stick with calling her babe.