Hurricane RNC

I’m glad the GOP is planning to go ahead with their convention despite hurricane Isaac. That’s the message they need to send: “We’re not some sissy Democrats; some wind and rain ain’t gonna scare us off.” And think of the fun for the hippies trying to protest outside while dealing with hurricane force winds — there will be placards and papier-mâché puppets stuck up in trees. Hippies can’t deal with harsh conditions; that’s why they’re whiny hippies. And if the press starts to annoy the GOP, it will add extra weight to the threat to kick them out of the convention. “No! Don’t send us outside! We’ll try to be nice! We’re just too arrogant and stupid to understand you’re political positions! Have mercy!”

In fact, I think all Republican conventions should be in harsh conditions to show how tough we are. Like they should be in the middle of a typhoon or on the edge of an active volcano. “Wind, water, and fire cannot destroy us, and neither can effeminate Democrats.” And there should be robot fights during it. Because Republicans are about the future: a powerful, somewhat scary future.

16 Comments

  1. I believe that we should ENCOURAGE and assist Occupiers to head to Florida parks and public places. Hippies (and their inherent lubricating grease) do repel water, and may help protect the patriots within. The resulting storm surge will then carry them all off to their new homeland in Cuba.

  2. “I think all Republican conventions should be in harsh conditions to show how tough we are”

    You are talking about Republicans right?

    Hippies don’t like rain because someone may throw soap on them.

    Hippies don’t like rain because it gets their choom wet.

  3. Tampa will be decorated early for Christmas this year with all the hippies, placards, bongs, paper mache puppets, and fake newscaster hair pieces (Chrissy Matthews and Richard Madcow included) suspended in the trees.

  4. “The best prat is the storm may give the Hippies their first baths in decades!” Which may also result in a catastrophic kill off of sea food animals, thus raising the price of sea food once again out of the reach of food stamp recipients.

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