It’s your quote of the day from How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome
A concern would be whether dinosaurs blowing up people and eating them might violate the Geneva Conventions. I’m not sure what part, though. Maybe Common Article 5, which mentions the prohibition of using “prehistoric beasts.” I’m pretty sure if we just properly mark all of our dinosaurs with American flags, we’ll be fine. You can talk to an international lawyer about it. I won’t, because that involves two things I don’t like: things that are international (other than houses of pancakes) and lawyers. Oh, and talking. Three things.
You should have watched Saturday’s Doctor Who. It had dinosaurs. In SPACE!
I don’t see the lefties having a problem with that. They love indigenous species (the dinos were here first, mammalist!) and they hate people. “Go ahead, Dinos! Crunch all you want! We’ll make more!”
As an independent, I’m constantly searching for new ways to think about everyday things. And nothing is more everyday than America. It was America yesterday, and it will be America tomorrow. It’s just America. Every. Day. And we all know that independents don’t do much thinking about America at any depth. It’s like electricity. I flick a switch, and the lamp way over there in the corner comes on. I don’t think about why that happens; it just does. And like electricity, because I’m an independent, I don’t think about America. I just get out of bed, flick a switch, and I have super-awesome freedom and liberty because of America. Just like electricity! How does it work? Who cares!
So where was I? Oh yeah. So, being independent and all, and having no political leanings of any kind (because you know, that would mean I learned about high-minded concepts like “freedom” and “fiscal responsibility”), I read the above excerpted paragraph from this upcoming book.
I have never thought about the Geneva Convention before, except that time on Boston Legal where Alan Shore said that Bush violated it daily and grinds the bones of POWs into a paste he uses at his Texas ranch for holding two-by-fours together. But the author here explains things in a way that opens my eyes, makes me yearn for more, and I actually crave more knowledge about America.
Oh, I’ll still be content pushing the toggle on my electric appliances and having the blender make my margaritas without wondering exactly how it works. But as an independent thinking about the current (get it?) state of America, this excerpt is wonderful and, ok, ok, I’ll say it: “electrifying!”