Of All Obama’s Presidential Firsts, This One I’ll Agree He Deserves Recognition For

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Why Would an Atheist Celebrate Christmas? Because It’s Freakin’ Awesome!

[High Praise! to The Camp of the Saints]

So Sayeth Ayn Rand:
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[In answer to the question of whether it is appropriate for an atheist to celebrate Christmas:]

Yes, of course. A national holiday, in this country, cannot have an exclusively religious meaning. The secular meaning of the Christmas holiday is wider than the tenets of any particular religion: it is good will toward men – a frame of mind which is not the exclusive property (though it is supposed to be part, but is a largely unobserved part) of the Christian religion.

The charming aspect of Christmas is the fact that it expresses good will in a cheerful, happy, benevolent, non-sacrificial way. One says: “Merry Christmas” – not “Weep and Repent.” And the good will is expressed in a material, earthly form – by giving presents to one’s friends, or by sending them cards in token of remembrance…

The best aspect of Christmas is the aspect usually decried by the mystics: the fact that Christmas has been commercialized. The gift-buying… stimulates an enormous outpouring of ingenuity in the creation of products devoted to a single purpose: to give men pleasure. And the street decorations put up by department stores and other institutions-the Christmas trees, the winking lights, the glittering colors – provide the city with a spectacular display, which only “commercial greed” could afford to give us. One would have to be terribly depressed to resist the wonderful gaiety of that spectacle.
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Me, I’m partial to colored electric lights at night and Rankin & Bass stop-motion animation Christmas specials.

If there’s a catchier song than this, I don’t know what it is:


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #2,265,954)

Tooooo much!

A Visit From St. Nicholas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter’s nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the luster of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: “Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook, when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, Laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”

— Clement Clarke Moore

You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “What do you call a group of liberals…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Also – Punchline Nuker of the Week is up.

I came sooooo close.

World’s Worst Nativity Scene

[High Praise! to American Digest]

Yeah, this is really supposed to be a Nativity Scene.

And yeah, it gets worse.

Link of the Day: 9 Ways To Start a Fire Without Matches

[High Praise! to The Art of Manliness]

9 Ways To Start a Fire Without Matches

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

PC Honestly Defined

[High Praise! to Shoe Comics]


[12-18-12]

Word to the 99 Percent

[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]

Straight Line of the Day: Obama Sent a Postcard from Hawaii That Said…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Obama sent a postcard from Hawaii that said…

The Truth About Detroit

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

Cutting the Cord, Part 2: Devices

When it comes to dropping cable (or satellite), you must find ways to replace the content. To do that, you need content providers, and a device to get the content to your TV.

Last time, we talked about content providers. This time, we’ll look at ways to view the content.

There are many ways to watch the content. I’ve used several, including:

There is also just watching on the TV directly. I haven’t done that in a while, but there are two reasons to use that method.

One is you go with over the air (OTA) antenna only. If that’s the only method you want to use to watch TV, you don’t need anything more than a TV. Now, if you’re helping someone on a fixed income, or have an older TV you just can’t bear to part with, you need a digital-to-analog TV converter box.

The other reason a TV might be enough is that some TVs come with apps built in. Usually, you’ll find Netflix, but you may also find Hulu Plus, Vudu, Amazon, or other apps for other providers.
Continue reading ‘Cutting the Cord, Part 2: Devices’ »

Cutting the Cord, Part 1: Content

An unhappy Cable Guy.

Photo: Crown Publishing

For a couple of years now, I dropped cable and have gone to watching TV over the Internet. Oh, not on my laptop or on a desktop, but on my TV. But, I’m getting content from the Internet. Almost all of it. Some I’m watching from an antenna.

About three years ago, I wondered if there was a way to save money on cable. We already had the basic service, but that was kind of expensive still.

Cable TV runs a lot. And satellite packages do, too. More than I want to pay. So, I took a year, noted every show we watched, then looked up the various ways it was available, and how much each way cost.

What I looked at were:

Yes, there are other methods available to get content, but these sources allowed me to easily watch content on my TV. Hulu (not Hulu Plus, but Hulu; there is a difference) was a little more involved, as you’ll see.
Continue reading ‘Cutting the Cord, Part 1: Content’ »