[High Praise! to I’m a Man! I’m 41!]
Archive of entries posted on 20th December 2012
Is This Where Obama Is Taking This Country?
A new Fox News poll shows that 61% of voters think Obama will move the country toward socialism in his second term.
The other 39% think he’d have to make a U-turn, first.
You’ve Been Judged!
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Legalized marijuana in Colorado will be sold under the brand name…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Looks Like Obama Got His Civilian National Security Force
[High Praise! to After Math]
At this reference link, they complain that Obama is being quoted “out of context”. But as with his “you didn’t build that” comment, I think the context just makes it even worse.
Link of the Day: The Government Is Always Incompetent
[High Praise! to Spootville]
Does the government do anything well?
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Plastic Bottle Launcher!
[High Praise! to Wired and my Blogless Brother Tom]
I could really use this around the office.
Because I work from home.
And I have 4 cats that keep climbing on things that they shouldn’t.
BAD KITTY!
Wisdom of the Day: Kiss Hawking Calvin
Someone once said “this plant hanging over my head means you have to kiss me” and the other person was like “okay.”
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) December 19, 2012
Maybe Stephen Hawking uses that computer to talk. Or MAYBE the computer’s got us right where it wants us.
— Carly (@MsCarlissima) December 19, 2012
“Elf on the Shelf” seems like an idea Calvin’s dad would’ve invented to keep him in check during Advent.
— Doug Stewart (@zamoose) December 19, 2012
I Agree With Obama on This
Bork RIP
I feel like I should say something about the passing of Robert Bork, but I just don’t know very much. When his infamous confirmation hearing was going on, I was eight. So I only really know him as this guy the Swedish Chef from the Muppets was really excited about. And it was such a sad incident. This great judicial scholar was kept out of office by lying dimwits — one of whom is now vice president. Just another reminder of what a bad state our country is in and how things could have been better had conservatives fought harder earlier. Lesson learned: When you see a hippie’s face, you punch it right away. You never hesitate.
Straight Line of the Day: Time Magazine Explained That They Picked Obama As “Person of the Year” Because…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Time Magazine explained that they picked Obama as “Person of the Year” because…
More of the New Racism in the NYT
I’ve talked before about how all the focus on the racism of the past is helping us miss the newer and equally dumb racism of the present. This editorial about Tim Scott printed in the New York Times is a good example of that. Like look at this section:
But [Tim Scott’s] politics, like those of the archconservative Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas, are utterly at odds with the preferences of most black Americans. Mr. Scott has been staunchly anti-tax, anti-union and anti-abortion.
Yes, the love the idea that if you have a certain amount of melanin in your skin, then you can only think one way on taxes. That’s totally a smart idea a newspaper should print and not the ranting of a moron racist.
You see, this new racism isn’t really any different than the old — it attempts to define everyone and put limitations on them based on their skin color — but just goes about it differently, usually from the angle that these people are the ones enlightened on race and everyone else is the racist. It’s pretty Orwellian. But if we are to advance as a society, a newspaper would no more consider printing an editorial by Adolph L. Reed than they would that of a KKK member.
Hey, you know who else was named Adolph…
Cartoon of the day – gun control
Random Thoughts: Common Sense Gun Control
We’ll ban all guns with flames painted on the sides because that makes the gun more deadly. #CommonSenseGunControl
The DoJ should go door to door confiscating everyone’s guns and then sell them to Mexican drug cartels. #CommonSenseGunControl
We should ban military-style guns and pants. #CommonSenseGunControl
Put larger print on “Gun Free Zone” signs. #CommonSenseGunControl
Mandated googly eyes on all guns to make them less scary looking. #CommonSenseGunControl
All assault weapons must be paired with an apepper weapon. #CommonSenseGunControl
We can use their gun ignorance against them. Like we could agree to banning high capacity clips.
I’m all for freedom except when it gets scary.
The left are threatened by black Republicans because minorities with varied political views are confusing and scary to them.
How can you have a lot melanin in your skin and not be pro-tax? It makes no sense.
Should’ve built a B-Ark
Just in case you hadn’t heard, the world is ending tomorrow.
No, really. I read it on the Internet somewhere, so it’s true. And, so have a lot of other people, it seems.
NASA is getting a bunch of calls from people who want to know about the world ending. It’s taking up so much of NASA’s time that they can’t go about their primary mission of Muslim outreach. Well, that, and not being able to send people into space anymore.
NASA has even made a movie to help stop the calls. It’s titled “Why the world didn’t end yesterday” and is supposed to be shown on Saturday. Which really doesn’t stop the calls leading up to Friday. Maybe that backwards line of thinking is why they can’t go into space. Of course, it should help with Muslim outreach. At least, with Muslims in other countries. The ones in this country kinda shake their head at other countries, too.
Anyway, NASA is answering the phone and telling people that it’s all okay and the world won’t end. I think that’s a mistake. They should tell them that the world is going to end.
Caller: “Hello, NASA? I saw that the world will end Friday. Is that right?”
NASA: “Yes, ma’am, that’s correct. We’re doomed. That’s why we’re not sending people into space anymore. There’s no reason. We’re just sitting back, waiting for the world to end. Have a nice day.”
Or
Caller: “Hey, what’s the truth about the Mayan apocalypse?
NASA: “Yes, sir. The planets are all going to line up with the stars and that will cause the earth to capsize just like Guam did. A lot of people will fall off. The lucky ones will land on Mars or the moon, but most of us will just fall away into space. Thank you for calling.”
See what fun that could be? All the stupid people will panic and, oh, I don’t know, do something stupid, but if we all just kinda let them, we’ll weed out all the idiots, and the rest of us will be able to make a go of things.
If only the Mayans had predicted this would happen before the November election.
You Can Say He Didn’t Build That, But You Can’t Force Him to Keep Running That
Because of Obamacare’s many uncertainties, a Mississippi pharmacy owner closed down after 37 years, saying “I just did not want to risk my retirement”.
Out: Ross Perot’s “giant sucking sound“. In: Ayn Rand’s “giant shrugging sound”.