The Old Man at the Gun Range

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Waiting for Shakey Pete to weigh in on this one.

There’s Always a Way to Get Around These Laws

A St. Petersburg, Florida, woman was arrested after being caught riding a manatee.

Ya know, she’d have been fine if she would’ve said she was “researching alternative-fuel vehicles”.

Obamacare Explained Perfectly in Three Sentences

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

Link of the Day: Hamas Bumper Stickers

[High Praise! to The People’s Cube]

Hamas Bumper Stickers

Excerpt:

# Honk if you’ve been followed by the same helicopter for the last 10 minutes
# If you can read this, you’re about to be blown up, too
# I just lost 200 lbs instantly – ask me how
# My other car is a bomb
# 80 percent of success is just blowing up
# Baby suicide bomber on board
# This is your brain. This is your brain on upholstery.
# Kill, baby, kill
# What car bomb would Mohammed drive?
# Driver carries no cash, he’s about to be vaporized
# “Palestinian rebels” sounds nicer than “Mob of Jew-hating murderous baby killers”

LOTS more at the link above.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The White House released a new iPhone App…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Wisdom of the Day: Primary Ruled Costco Words

Proof That Even When Obama Fails, He’s Still Awesome

[High Praise! to The Last Refuge]

Video Games: Things Have Slowed

One thing I’ve noticed with video gaming is that things have really slowed tech wise. It used to be with PC gaming, you basically had to upgrade something every year to keep up, and there were constantly games out that pretty much no one but video game reviewers had a rig powerful enough to play. But now I’ve bought a gaming laptop a few years ago and there isn’t even a slight temptation to upgrade. I guess a big part of that is everyone is aiming for the consoles now, and with that you can’t push the hardware very far. And when was the last big PC exclusive? Diablo III? And that didn’t even try to do much graphically.

Of course, it’s also gotten really long between upgrades in consoles which used to be every five years at least. I guess we’ve just gotten to the point where a little bit better graphics doesn’t just doesn’t seem worth it. It was a big leap from NES to SNES. An even bigger leap from SNES to the 3D of N64. And after that it was just how many polygons can we get on screen and improving online play. We’re in a slump. Nintendo is trying a tablet like controller as the next big thing, and who knows what Microsoft and Sony are going to do. If all they have is a bit better graphics (and we’re already at HD), is anyone going to care?

BTW, someone asked for my Steam account. It’s AmericanRonin. I haven’t done any of the community stuff on Steam, and it makes me feel even more a loser playing video games when Steam keeps reminding me I have no friends.

Also, new Humble Bundle out where you can pick up a ton of THQ games for a buck (or more, especially if you want the Saints Row the Third bonus which only cost you about $6 last I checked). I never played any of these games, but it seems you can’t go wrong at the price.

Why Cutting the Defense Budget Won’t Solve Jack

[High Praise! to The Gormogons]

It’s hard to read, and I don’t have a bigger picture, but the vertical axis is percentage of GDP (from 0% to 12% in 2% increments) and the horizontal axis is the year (1962 to 2014 in 2 year increments). The lines cross in 1976.

UN Votes on Palestinian State

So the UN voted to recognize Palestine as a state. Shouldn’t they finish terrorizing us with the terrorist states they have before they get new ones?

Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Agreed to Cut Spending if…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

President Obama agreed to cut spending if…

Should We Hasten the Country’s Collapse?

So we all understand nothing useful is going to come out of these fiscal cliff talks, right? I mean the only thing that will get us off this path to debt destruction are huge changes to entitlements, and that’s just not going to happen. So instead we have Obama insisting on raising taxes for pretty much no reason (what he wants won’t even come close to covering the deficit). So what can we do if the president is an extremely unserious person?

I think our only strategy left might be to heap on even more debt and taxes and help the economy towards destruction. Then, when the government and society collapse, we automatically get to make the rules for the new one we rebuild since we have all the guns (if you follow the order of succession, if goes VP, Speaker of the House, the cabinet, Congress, and far enough down it’s just “people with guns”). And a complete collapse does seem like the only realistic way to pull back entitlements.

Of course, there are downsides to this plan. For one, a complete collapse of society could really delay the next iPhone. And there will probably be death and destruction — especially for all the people extremely dependent on government who just won’t be able to make it on their own now when it collapses. Oh, and one of us will have to write a new Constitution. And while that isn’t that long a document, it does seem pretty boring to write — especially if we want to keep up the tradition of it being hand written.

But, anyway, a plan worth thinking about.

Random Thoughts: Lottery, Canada, and a Solution to Fiscal Cliff Talks

Writing a scifi story in which the MacGuffin is a glowing ball of energy called “the unnamed source.”

We should get badges of how many Twitter followers we have so businesses know if they treat us poorly that’s how many people will find out.

The best indie film I ever saw was Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I’ll only play the lottery after I’m part of the 1% because then it will just be hilarious if I win.

“Oh? I won the lottery? Well, just go ahead and deposit to my account; I’m a busy man.”

A dollar coin? We might as well just barter by trading chickens.

So what exactly is the point of Canada?

Good GOP strategy: Agree to taxes, no spending cuts. Perhaps add more spending. Stock up on ammo. Take over and rebuild after collapse.

If man were meant to fly, God would have made us more tolerant of strangers touching our junk.

Paris Hilton Would Never Use One of These

Beverly Hills now has vending machines that dispense caviar, escargot, and truffles.

Unbelievable. No purse-chihuahuas?

When Turkeys Attack!

Residents of Brookline, Massachusetts are reporting increasing incidents of wild turkey attacks.

Well, obviously someone must’ve posted “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” on YouTube.