[High Praise! to ThinkGeek]
Mr. Bacon’s Big Adventure Board Game encourages you to play with your meat. As you move your bacon character along the path through Meatland, you’ll have to navigate your way through areas like the Mustard Marsh, the Wiener Wasteland, and the Sausage Sea. The first one to make it to the frying pan at the end of the trail wins! So whether you enjoy your Bacon by the slice or by the rasher, Mr. Bacon’s Big Adventure Board Game is the game for you.
In Cleveland, a woman who was arrested for driving on the sidewalk was punished by having to stand in public wearing an “idiot” sign.
Wonder if the people with “Obama 2012” bumper stickers are being punished for the same thing?
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Michelle Obama’s victory speech dress…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
During his concession speech, Mitt Romney said “Paul and I have left everything on the field.”
In other news, President Obama announced he’ll be implementing a new “field tax”.
[High Praise! to Gunslinger’s Journal]
Excerpt:
If we don’t stand in the way of the Progressive policies. If we let them have a free hand. If we get out of their way, make sure they get all the credit. If we don’t confuse the issue, interfere, or make feeble attempts to slow them down — that later they will point to as the “cause” of their policies’ failure (as they always do) — when the place burns down, it will be impossible for them to place the blame on anything but themselves.
I have to say, there’s a bitter, spiteful part of me that’s very tempted to roll with this notion.
But I know it won’t work.
Why?
Because during the Cold War, the division of Berlin into East and West was the ultimate real-world lab experiment that proved the virtue of capitalism over communism.
If liberals can ignore that, they can ignore anything.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
If Harrison Ford plays Han Solo in the new Star Wars films, his wife Ally McBeal can play IG-88
— Eli Braden (@EliBraden) November 9, 2012
We had 99 problems and Mitt was just one.
— Brandon Kiser (@Kiser) November 9, 2012
Elder Scrolls Online is set 1k years before Skyrim. Are the Scrolls even “elder” at that point. Wouldn’t they just be regular scrolls?
— cwgabriel (@cwgabriel) November 9, 2012
According to t-shirts, the most common place for a wolf to stub its toe is right at the edge of a cliff.
— vladchoc (@vladchoc) November 12, 2012
I get that America is a popular country and people want to be here, but at the same time we can’t just have people just breaking all our laws because that disrespects us. And as president, I won’t let others see us be disrespected as the portrays weakness and will get us attacked.
Still, being compassionate, I have come up with some compromises on illegal immigration. A long while ago, I proposed obliterating Mexico, but I decided that was basically the same as amnesty (since you’d have no where to deport illegal immigrants to). In the Homeland Security chapter of my new book, I came up with a new compromise. Since actions must have consequences, someone must be deported for everyone who comes here illegally. But it doesn’t have to be the illegal immigrant. Instead, that guy can come to us and say, “Hey, I’m really sorry, but you have a great country and it was in walking distance and I couldn’t help myself. But I promise to be a good worker and an asset to this country. But here’s a useless hippie who does nothing but annoy people. Why don’t you deport him.” And then we’ll be like, “Okay. Wrestle this grizzly bear to prove your American-ness and it is done.”
So let’s look at illegal immigration as a chance to replace the most useless idiots in society that we used to be stuck with because they happened to be born here.
Frank J. 2016: Wrestle grizzly bears. Deport useless people.
After the disappointing 2012 election, people keep talking about what the GOP will need to do to win in the future. I will also talk about that. Here are my ideas for the GOP to modernize itself and win more elections:
NEW IDEAS FOR THE REPUBLICAN PARTY
* Replace the ‘o’ in GOP with a zero so it’s more like l33t speak.
* Adopt that blase attitude about everything that’s so popular these days, so next election just run a few ads where the candidates sarcastically say, “Reelect me because I’m a loser who only cares about getting elected and stuff. Like whatever.”
* Start to sucking up to robots so GOP will get all the robot votes when one day robots are allowed to vote (the 30th Amendment). Use shotgun wielding cyborg Dick Cheney as an ambassador.
* Come up with a new dance craze, “GOP Style,” where you dance by miming riding an elephant.
* Calm fears about the new Star Wars movies by making coming up with another creature like Jar Jar Binks a crime punishable by severe fines and imprisonment.
* Take the current GOP logo, and add racing stripes.
* Instead of pandering to the races the Democrats are already working on, go after Orcs and Night Elves in World of Warcraft.
* Make CSPAN more interesting by having all Republican speakers use autotune.
* UFC is popular; make Congress more like that. In the least, install an Octagon. “We’ll settle this… in the Octagon!”
* Mustaches now mandatory for all men in the GOP.
People need to lay off Elizabeth Warren. She’s never drowned anyone, which historically makes her a pretty decent senator for Massachusetts.
“I’ll be careful.”
“YOU’LL BE DEAD!” #StarWarsFiscalCliff
“I don’t believe we can ever close the deficit.”
“That is why you fail.” #StarWarsFiscalCliff
“Harry Reid is as clumsy as he is stupid.” #StarWarsFiscalCliff
“You were the chosen one! You were supposed to halve the deficit, not add to it!” #StarWarsFiscalCliff
“How are we doing on a plan for deficit reduction?”
“Same as always.”
“That bad, huh?” #StarWarsFiscalCliff
“I don’t like budget cuts. They’re coarse and rough and irritating and they get everywhere.” #StarWarsFiscalCliff
“Vowing to tax the rich can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.” #StarWarsFiscalCliff
My idea for the GOP is that they should center all their ideas around liberty as people seem to like liberty.
Come on, people! We’ve kicked the can down the road before and we can do it again!
I’d say the 2012 election has been creatively invigorating.
At what age do you start teaching your child that government is useless?
If the GOP wants to know how to win the future, as a smart, young, new media-savvy conservative I’ll tell you how. Price: $1 million.
The Democrats are like Santa Claus if Santa Claus spent the other 364 days mugging people.
Has Obama ever asked himself why job creators hate him?
I always was kind of curious what would happen if Carter was reelected.
I assume sales of Playboy were butchered by the internet since people read it for its articles and you can find articles all over the net.
One day I’m going to have a good laugh at everybody as I seal up my underground bunker.
“Did he walk the plank…” ::puts on eyepatch:: “…or did the plank walk him?”
Liking the album from that group Slash. Their guitar player is pretty good. Whoever he is, he’s no Tom Morello, though.
I don’t care if he won reelection; I’m still not going to let him be clear.
You’ll save yourself a lot of grief if you get an ugly biographer.
Can’t we end all this dividing people into different racial groups and just all come together and hate gingers?
Charles Krauthammer really needs to start ending all his statements with, “Boom! Dropped the hammer on you!”
So finished book 5 of Game of Thrones
One of my big complaints about Kindle books is that they don’t have covers so I have no way to judge them.
I wonder if Angry Birds Star Wars will add some Return of the Jedi levels with the green pigs as Gamorrean guards or is that to on the nose?
The Republicans don’t have a popular message, but “There’s no such thing as Santa Claus” has never been popular.
