Archive of entries posted on 29th November 2012

Wisdom of the Day: Greedy Woodstock Meal Teacher

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Video Games: What’s the Wii U?

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So Michelle Obama was told about the Wii U by a kid and had no idea what it was. And while I like to make fun of Michelle Obama because she’s an awful person married to a doof, I really can’t blame her here. I mean, I got pretty much every Nintendo console since the NES right when it came out, but I just don’t get why I would want this Wii U.

First off, the name is stupid. I mean, Wii was stupid, but you at least understood that was a new Nintendo console. This one just sounds like it’s an educational game for the Wii. And from the ads, you might even just think it’s a new gamepad with a screen on it you buy for the Wii rather than a whole new console. So Michelle Obama’s confusion isn’t just because she’s stupid and I hate her.

Second, instead of being nextgen, it looks like it may have just finally caught Nintendo up with current gen… if that. For a while, I bought Nintendo’s “gameplay over graphics” argument about the Wii, but at some point not having HD output started seeming archaic (and it didn’t even support 5.1 surround sound — what is that, like a thirty cent chip now?). So now we’ve got an HD Wii, but how will it compare to the nextgen of Sony and Microsoft? And I saw for the new Madden game, there’s this new physics engine in the XBox 360 and PS3 versions, but it’s missing from the Wii U. Was it not powerful enough to pull it off versus current gen? And that’s not just a graphics thing; less computation power for physics could affect gameplay in other games. Anyway, I’m just afraid that the Wii U will be left far behind when the other companies get out their nextgen and once again I’ll see all the big new games not available or in a really scaled down version for Nintendo.

Thirdly, there’s no worthwhile games out for it. New side scrolling Mario games just seem… well… “cute” to me, but not something I want to run out and get. And much of the other games premiering for the Wii U are just games that were already out for a while on the other systems. Eventually they’ll put out a new Zelda game and then I’ll probably finally buy the stupid thing (unless, for the first time ever, Nintendo screws up a Zelda game — well maybe second time since Zelda II), but there’s just nothing compelling to get for it right now.

So, I’m in a wait and see attitude on the Wii U. Plus, overall I think I’m just less compelled to buy an expensive console and pay $60 a game when I can just snatch up good deals on Steam for my PC and buy $3 games for my iPad.

Finally! A Stocking Stuffer for People You REALLY Like!

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[High Praise! to ThinkGeek]

Kids in old time movies had the biggest lollipops. They looked so good, it’s no wonder the evil dudes with long curly mustaches and top hats always wanted to steal them. But then the hero saved the day and they all walked into candy land, where everything is edible. Ok, so we’re thinking about candy a lot. But we’re also getting a craving for breakfast. Time to combine candy and breakfast in perfect harmony; presenting the Bacon Lollipop.

Each Bacon Lollipop is full of smoky bacon flavor. It’s also quite large (4″ diameter) and swirled, just like the suckers of old. Start one at the beginning of the day, and it should last (depending on your tongue skills) quite a while. Lick it through meetings, lick it through lunch, lick it on your way home. And then once your Bacon Lollipop is all finished, you can just start another one. YAY.

Frank J. 2016: Our Incomes Are Our Business

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Where does the government get the idea our income is any of its business? The government works for us, so we get to know how much money it has and everything it’s doing, but where in the world does it get off thinking it gets to know information about me? When someone asks me my income, I punch him in the face and say, “Mind your own business, loser.” That policy should be know different for the government. When elected president in 2016, I will go right to the IRS and keep punching people in the face until they get the idea to mind their own business and know their place.

Frank J. 2016: I’ll put the government in its place with my fist.

Let Me Raise Taxes on the Rich or I’ll Shoot This Dog

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So Warren Buffet said that the reason he supports raising taxes on the rich is that it would boost the morale of the middle class. Seems like he’s cribbing from my “goose punch” theory of economics I presented in a column a while back. Because there is no logical reason for all this obsession on raising taxes on the rich that has ever been presented. The amount of revenue it’s expected is minuscule compared to the size of the deficit, and while many argue it will hurt job growth, a science fiction author couldn’t even come up with a scenario in which it would lead to more jobs.

Anyway, as I’ve said many times, be very wary of rich people railing against rich people — especially someone like Warren Buffet who is richer than about anyone. You’ll never find more dishonest people.

Including Obama, of course. He started a hashtag yesterday of #My2K where he’s trying to convince people he’s going to give us $2000 extra when in reality he’s threatening to take $2000 away from us if we don’t allow him to raise taxes on the rich. So either let him do his job-killing tax raise that no one will even argue will lead to anything useful, or he’ll soak the middle class. Come on, the campaign is over; could you be less of a jackass for just a little bit?

Random Thoughts: Taxes, Greed, and Bigots

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So Obama is threatening to raise our taxes if we don’t let him raise taxes on the rich? #My2K

Isn’t our attitude supposed to be, “It’s okay we suffer as long as the super-mega-ultra rich are somewhat inconvenienced!”?

America is a very big country with a very small president.

A good portion of the left see racism the same way the KKK did: As a tool to get what they want.

How are we supposed to run a functional government on a mere $2.5 trillion a year?

Powerball and Obama are both supported by the greed of poor people.

Democrats are so focused on bigots and racists of the past they’re completely missing the new breed of bigots and racists they’re developing.

If one’s income was no one’s business but his own, we’d be a much better, less greedy nation.