Archive of entries posted on 27th November 2012

Note to Liberal Gun-Grabbers: This Is Perfectly Safe

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[High Praise! to Very Demotivational]

The rule is to keep your finger off the trigger until you’re ready to fire.

The reason for the rule is that, if your finger’s not on the trigger, you can’t accidentally pull it.

Most people keep their finger outside of the trigger guard, but realistically, having your finger BEHIND the trigger is just as effective from a safety standpoint. You’re not going to accidentally pull anything from that position.

Wisdom of the Day: Red Dawn Vampire Messiah

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Dead Giveaway

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[High Praise! to iOwnTheWorld]

EL CAJON, Calif. – The shoppers lined up at an El Cajon Best Buy more than a week early in anticipation for the stores’ Black Friday sale have been asked to leave the property.

On Wednesday, Rhiannon Buckingham told 10News she lined up because she wanted to make sure she got the best deal.

“Last year, I came on Tuesday and I was 17th in line,” she said. “They only had 15 TVs.”

Me, I’d rather earn money by working all week and just pay full retail.

Then again, I’m not an Obama-voter, either.

Warp Drives and the Environment

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I didn’t know people were actually working on a warp drive. Apparently physics does allow faster than light travel if the ship remains still and warps space in front and behind it to move without moving. Theoretically, with warp speed, we could get to Alpha Centauri in weeks even though it’s four light years away.

Yeah, there’s a number of problems before it’s practical, but I’m glad we’re working on it as it should end environmentalism. Because when we have a warp drive, we can eventually find another planet with a even better environment than this one. Then we’ll wonder why we spent all that time whining about harm to the Earth’s environment when we finally have another environments to compare it to and realize it wasn’t that great. I’m just absolutely sick of Earth’s stupid environment and I certainly can’t be the only one. So warp speed, Mr. Sulu!

We Almost Nuked the Moon in the 50s

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Absolutely everyone emailed and tweeted me to tell me that there is a news story about how the government plotted to nuke the moon. Thanks, absolutely everyone. It’s good that when people see things about the moon being nuked, they think of me.

The only thing is, there is nothing new in that story. This is stuff that has been reported on years ago (and as Harvey pointed out, has been commented on this site before). So I don’t know why this is a big story being linked by Drudge all of a sudden other than it was an extremely slow news and someone at the AP just stumbled across this stuff for the first time and had space to fill.

So anyway, yes, the government thought about nuking the moon in the 50s. I did know this for a long time, but not back when I wrote my Nuke the Moon essay over ten years ago. So basically this proves I’m not crazy and that I think like a military general from the 50s.

But why are we talking about the past? Let’s talk about the future of nuking the moon. While we missed out our chance to scare the Soviets with us nuking the moon, we could still scare Islamic terrorists. They seem to have an affinity for the moon since they use a crescent moon as a symbol since they think Allah lives there or something (I never really studied Islam). Thus, if we nuke the moon, we could scare them away from extremism. Also, we could scare the Chinese Communists from trying to land on the moon since they know we could nuke it at anytime. So, nuking the moon is one of the greatest plans man has ever had — if not the greatest idea.

I proposed this to Obama last year, but he just cried and told me to stop yelling at him. So, while his back was turned, I penciled in “the moon” on his secret drone kill list. I don’t think that worked, though. I was hoping for a new administration next year that would be more open to nuclear strikes against natural satellites, but no luck. Of course, if I’m elected in president in 2016, on day two I will launch a nuclear strike against the moon (day one will be spent getting used to my new office, setting up my computer, and getting automatic deposit set up for my paycheck).

For more information on nuking the moon, buy my new book and read the chapter on war. Thank you for your moon nuking interest.

Random Thoughts: Race and Obama Jesus

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Either other races have to give up racial identity politics or I’d expect whites to eventually pick it back up.

Slows news days again… time for the political humorist to shine and fill space!

So are we still trying to end racial politics or are there just too many advantages to some political parties for that?

NAACP, La Raza… I mean, we’re all well aware that eventually have to get rid of those things, right?

Somehow in America we can have a series put out 22 episodes every year, but the Brits can’t manage three every two years! No wonder they lost their empire.

#IfObamaWasJesus He’d proclaim his riding a donkey into town as a green energy solution.

#IfObamaWasJesus Number of souls saved would be way under expectations, but it’s not his fault.

#IfObamaWasJesus He’d have a secret list for targeted smiting.

#IfObamaWasJesus Would feed thousands with a couple loaves of bread and a few fishes and a huge deficit.

The Colonel and the Obama Voter visit the dentist

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The Colonel went to the dentist yesterday morning. He occasionally — not always, just sometimes — thinks of himself as “The Colonel,” because it does sound kinda old-school cool. He’s not a full-bird colonel. He has the leaf, which means he’s actually a lieutenant colonel. Still, in the military, LTC (or, since he’s Air Force Reserve, Lt. Col.) is addressed as “colonel.” So, yeah, he’s The Colonel.

Anyway, The Colonel went to the dentist yesterday morning. In the parking lot was a vehicle belonging to an Obama Voter, who was visiting the same dentist.

Cut now to the checking out part of the visit, after all the tooth and mouth stuff is done.

Obama Voter was ahead of The Colonel. And it seems Obama Voter wasn’t happy with the amount he had to pay.

It had to do with how the work was classified by Obama Voter’s insurance. Seems there had been a change to how certain dental work was classified. And that made a difference with the bill. Some dental work is considered emergency or required. Then there’s situations where they’ll pay for one type of something but not another type of the same something.

Bunch of insurance talk, basically. But, the bottom line was, because of changes Obama Voter’s insurance made to how stuff was classified and how much they paid for different stuff, the bill was quite a bit larger than than Obama Voter expected.

And Obama Voter wanted to know why.

So the lady behind the desk explained that the insurance provider in question had changed a bunch of stuff around because of … wait for it … Obamacare.

Yep, the new regulations had the effect of changing how those being regulated acted. And, what with the insurance provider wanting to stay in business and all, that meant a change in benefits.

Obama Voter’s mouth kinda dropped when he heard why the change was made.

The Colonel kinda shook his head and smiled a little smile.

I saw The Colonel at lunch, and he told me the story of his visit to the dentist.

I took no pleasure in the fact that the Obama Voter had experienced the effect of the very policies put in place by those he helped put in office.

Okay, I lied. I took great pleasure in it. And I want to see more of it.