Archive of entries posted on 14th November 2012

Wisdom of the Day: Hipster Favorite Women Adult Gruel Pot Friday

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Frank J. 2016: No Taxes

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Taxes are a horrible idea. It’s an idea left over from when monarchs thought they owned the people and their stuff. Who knows what was going through the Founding Fathers’ heads when they allowed taxation, but it makes me want to smack the powdered wigs off them.

Of course, the government needs money. But if it’s doing useful stuff, it should be able to go door to door explaining what it’s trying to do and how much money it needs and we can decide for ourselves whether the government deserves our money. If it’s doing important stuff as it claims, I’ll open my checkbook because I’m a generous guy. If it starts to pitch some ponzi Social Security scheme to me, I will punch that government representative in the face and send him on his way.

So as president, I will work to eliminate all taxes and put it in the Constitution the government has no right to our money. If the government wants money, it needs to explain to us nicely what it wants to do and we’ll decide ourselves whether that’s an idiotic waste of cash or not.

Frank J. 2016: The government should have to beg for our money.

Secession? How About Two Americas

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I’ve heard some people talk about secession, and that seems to be the thing frustrated people on the right gravitate towards. We can’t threaten to move to Canada or any other country because they’re all worse than America on freedom — this is all we have — so the best we can do is carve out our own piece here. Still, I think that’s a non-starter. But what if we go with John Edward’s idea to have two Americas?

It’s a great idea. We’ll have free America and free stuff America. And everyone can choose which one they want to be a part of. In free America, no regulation and no entitlements and no taxes. In free stuff America, lots of entitlements and regulation and taxes. And we share the same military but otherwise have no influence over the other. So no more contentious elections and big arguments because people will be free to choose freedom or the other alternative if that’s too scary. And, of course, free America will grow in strength while free stuff America will crumble apart like California as it chases away all the job makers. And eventually free America will conquer free stuff America as everyone in the sissy side will dumb and squishy. And then we’ll have just free America.

We’ll leave out that last part when pitching this idea to the left.

We’re the Liberals

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I’m starting to wonder if it’s time to shed the “conservative” label. We’re not conservatives — we’re radicals. We’re advocating ideals of freedom that no country — not even the U.S. — has ever fully embraced. It’s not something old we want, it’s something new that’s never quite existed before. Who are “conservative” are those trying to uphold the horrible status quo we have, i.e., those who voted for Obama and the Democrats in this last election. They’re not going anywhere new or grand, they’re just puttering around in this downward spiral we’re in.

Now the left have pretty much abandoned the word liberal as they basically turned it into a swear word by being associated with them. Let’s take it back. I always preferred the term “classical liberal” as we’re trying to change things based on not just any moron new idea but on the original liberal idea: freedom. And it is still very scary for most people. They can’t stand the idea of regular citizens having guns. They fear the idea of the economy not being controlled. And they’re terrified of having to fend for themselves and not having the false promises of government entitlements. But we have our radical, crazy idea that freedom is the best way, and we will continue to fight for it. When fearful people try to make us more like failing Europe, we will continue to pave out our own new and unique way.

We’re the liberals here, and it’s time we embraced that.

Random Thoughts: Drones, Spiders, and Racial Pandering

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Maybe I’m following the wrong people, but I haven’t seen anyone talk secession other than those complaining about those talking secession.

So does Obama get another peace prize now?

If your state secedes, how much of the national debt do you take with you?

Depressing Thought: We still haven’t even finished Obama’s first term.

The right threaten to secede when we get frustrated because we don’t have any other country to move to. America is as good as it gets.

Should the Secretary of Defense really be someone so French-looking?

We need a remake of Top Gun, but about predator drones. Probably no volleyball.

So are they going to do a regular movie of the Petraeus scandal or go straight to the porn version?

Maybe Republicans need to stop acting like they care so much whether people vote for them and also drive really cool cars.

I hate it when people are mindlessly partisan (for the record, I’m mindfully partisan).

I don’t know why people sometimes seem so negative about men. Haven’t men invented like almost everything? They’re pretty useful.

Men also kill spiders. Without men, the world would be covered in spiders.

The other day my wife made me kill a spider that was outside because it was too close to the house. Poor guy.

We need much much more shame in our culture for turning to government to solve problems.

I yearn for the day where we can’t make assumptions about someone’s political views based on his or her skin color.

I’m not onboard with all this racial pandering, but I’ll agree to remove “We hate minorities!” from the GOP platform… maybe.

I don’t think people know what “racist” means anymore.

I’ve heard what the GOP must do to appeal to Hispanics, but what if we find some Hispanics that doesn’t appeal to? Eliminate them?

I’m not a conservative. I’m a radical. And freedom is still a radical and scary idea.

I’m not yearning for a past that never was, but instead for an ideal of freedom we’ve never fully accepted.

Maybe it’s time to reject the “conservative” label. We’ve got a horrible status quo and we want to move things forward.

And we see where the rest of the world is going, and we want to go somewhere different.

If we can confirm Arafat was poisoned and find out who did it, we should give him Arafat’s Nobel Peace Prize.

The American right should get the Nobel Peace Prize. We have all the guns in the country yet barely shoot anyone despite all the provocation

People with more money than me are the enemy.

Obama has a mandate to do whatever he can get the Republican House to agree to.

I’m really enjoying Google’s “search other people’s emails” feature.

For the love of all that is holy, Wikipedia, just put some friggin’ ads up and stop acting like a hobo.

Buttercup: “Rock a bye baby, on the tree top… GET OUT OF THE TREE RIGHT NOW!”