The Daily Mail reports that 27 animals were killed during the filming of the new “Hobbit” trilogy.
The body count includes a dozen wargs, 14 giant spiders, and one jewel-encrusted dragon.
Archive of entries posted on 26th November 2012
Overheard at the Airport
A Good Reason Not to Travel This Year
The TSA has warned that, during the holiday travel season, cakes and pies “are subject to additional screening.”
To avoid sexual harassment suits, all dessert patdowns will be conducted by Little Debbie.
You’ve Been Judged!
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “FOX is developing a comedy about marijuana legalization. It will be called…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Also, Keln has chosen the Punchline Nuker of the Week for last week.
Obama Getting Reelected Is the GOOD News
Link of the Day: A Brutally Brilliant Way to Fix the Electoral College
[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]
Population, Demographics, and the Electoral College
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Hostess Baby Criticism Greed MSNBC David Carradine Card Crime Scene Lincoln
Hostess was Michelle Obama’s Osama bin Laden.
— Steven Amiri (@StevenAmiri) November 16, 2012
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name,I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) November 16, 2012
If the rule is minority/female officials are immune from criticism because of their race/gender then we can’t have minority/female officials
— DrewM (@DrewMTips) November 16, 2012
Leftists hate greed, which is why they want all your money.
— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) November 16, 2012
Between S.E. Cupp, Krystal Ball and Touré,MSNBC is your #1 news source for people whose names sound like they were made up on the spot.
— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) November 16, 2012
The Hostess bakers union died the same way as David Carradine.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) November 16, 2012
This Thanksgiving card someone left me SUCKS. It says “pay me 50 dollars now” and it’s not even a Thanksgiving card it’s a parking ticket :/
— Cait Meisenheimer (@caitmeise) November 19, 2012
just had to fire a prostitute because she kept smiling for the fake crime scene photos i was taking
— john freiler (@johnfreiler) November 21, 2012
“Lincoln” made $34M at the box office Thanksgiving w/e. Audiences flocked b/c they liked seeing a Prez from IL who knew what he was doing.
— MancowMuller (@MancowMuller) November 26, 2012
NOW the State Department Gets Proactive
The State Department has announced that it’s sending the Assistant Secretary of State for International Organization Affairs to… Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Hopefully no one’s made any bad YouTube videos about the Vikings, lately.
Who Are We Currently Supporting for 2016
John Hawkins has a poll of right-leaning bloggers on who they favor (and hate) for 2016. The favorite by far looks to be Marco Rubio, though he’s not my favorite because of my prejudice that all United States Senators are completely useless buffoons. I like Jindal right now. Jindal is both conservative and competent. And he’s not a white male as those are unpopular now.
Chris Christie is least liked for 2016 according to the poll, followed closely by Jeb Bush. Jeb Bush is my least liked; I just find him annoying these days.
I wasn’t a choice on this poll, though. I have to figure out how to make a big press announcement of my presidential run so people know to include me on polls. And then we can game those polls like a bunch of rabid Ron Paul supporters. Who is with me?
As You Would Expect, IMAO Knew About the Government’s Moon-Nuking Plan 6 Months Ago
Apparently Drudge, the Brits, and CBS don’t read IMAO, otherwise they wouldn’t think the “US Government Planned to Nuke the Moon” story was news.
Moral of the story: always read IMAO to keep up on the latest 53-year-old stories.
Best Idea for Welfare Reform Ever
Toss Democrats Off the Fiscal Cliff
I wasn’t really paying attention to the news over the last week; anything happen?
Looks like Congress is still arguing about this looming fiscal cliff thing. I’m almost starting to get the opinion on government spending that we should just encourage more and more spending. Like buy everyone a car. Because I don’t think we’ll ever get it fixed until we just collapse the whole thing and start over.
Or if I’m elected president in 2016. I wouldn’t wait any longer than that to elect me by 2016 as who knows how much time we have. I mean, just look at some of the talk on cutting spending. According to this FOX News article, Dick Durbin said that Social Security should be off the table because it is a separately-funded operation that doesn’t add to the deficit. Oh yeah, that Ponzi scheme we’re all forced into is totally working and not costing us anything. I can’t believe we put up with people blatantly lying to us while making us bankrupt. Instead of cuts, of course, Durbin wants more taxes because the big problem today is the government doesn’t have enough of our money. Well, in my administration, Dick Durbin would be tried for treason, have all his wealth confiscated and redistributed to tax payers, and then he’d be exiled to Antarctica.
Frank J. 2016: My retirement plan for Congress – hunt and eat penguins.
Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Obama-Themed Christmas Gift…
The Problem with This Economy Are Lazy Job Creators
I have a new column in the New York Post on how, since Obama has obviously done everything possible, the problem with unemployment are the business owners and job creators who just aren’t making the jobs we demand. It’s time for Obama to take a hard line with them.
As Obama explained to these cretins in his “you didn’t build that” speech, the government does most of the work involved in job creation. It builds all the roads and bridges, and the job creators are left with the extremely simple task of building businesses along those roads. It’s something children do all the time with lemonade stands (or at least they did before regulations cracked down on that).
That’s why Obama and many other politicians have never created businesses before: It’s child’s play.
Cartoon of the day
[Source: Michael Ramirez – GoComics]
Actually, I kinda thought something similar this myself, but Ramirez did a much better of job of making the point.