[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]
Archive of entries posted on 11th December 2012
My Own Driver’s Test Went Very Much Like This
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #144,829)
Two kids tell a story, two adults act it out.
Enjoy it. It’s just fun.
Why Obama Won Nothing in November
[High Praise! to According to Hoyt]
A long quote from a longer piece by Sarah Hoyt on why the power-mad liberals will have trouble exercising their mad powers:
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But, listen, the problem with these sons of… Babel is that they might be American, but they’re not American ENOUGH. If they were, they’d understand “ungovernable” and this willingness for each of us to go it alone (often for common benefit, but on own recognizance, nonetheless) is not a bug. It’s a feature. And that it’s baked in the cake of a people who came here to escape the top-down spirit of other places. Some of the black sheep (or as one friend of mine calls it, the plaid sheep) attitude is genetic, hereditary, inborn. And enough of us have it.
Push harder and we escape harder, through crevices they don’t even know are there. Forbid us from making a living, and we’ll find a way to go around you. Make it impossible to defend ourselves, and I shudder to think what some of my friends and neighbors will come up with. Make the economy impossible, and we’ll create another one you can’t reach. Make regulations too binding and we’ll either ignore them or – more likely – creatively subvert them.
They captured the flag, and they think they captured the nation. It’s the type of mistake that the bureaucratic mind makes.
Poor rats. Try not to laugh at them too hard, as you go about the business of undermining them.
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Unlike the serf-minded European collective, productive Americans know how to shrug.
Why do you think we left Europe?
Sorority Girls Get in Trouble Over Hats & Mustaches
[High Praise! to Tongue-Tied]
Personally, I blame Mexico for being so culturally undiverse that it’s possible to stereotype them as all having big hats, serapes, and mustaches.
Can’t do that to Americans, what with our incredible variety of hair, skin, and eye colors.
And our lack of stupid folk-costumes (lookin’ at your lederhosen, Germany).
Which begs the question: if a Mexican sorority wanted to dress up like Americans for Halloween, how would they do it?
You’ve Been Judged!
Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Weirdest ornament on the White House Christmas tree…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
Link of the Day: It’s About Time Liberals Got Their Own Month
[High Praise! to Gotta Get Drunk First (NSFW)]
Yeah, there’s plenty of adult language at the link, but the point remains valid.
If you want to avoid the adult language, click over anyway and scroll down, because I think you’ll appreciate the official Liberal Appreciation Month poster (which is swear-free).
Also, I’m thinking this video might give you some more ideas on how to celebrate Liberal Appreciation Month.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Red Murders Gobstoppers Atheists
“Tired of redheads? Then watch Red Tails for an opposite perspective”
— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) December 10, 2012
Murders in DC down 24% from this time in 2011, on pace for 50% drop from ’08. But imagine how much lower they’d be w/o the Heller decision!
— David Freddoso (@freddoso) December 10, 2012
Don’t you hate when you’re eating gobstoppers and you drop one but can’t legally pick it up because it rolled within 200 yards of a school?
— Jeffrey Hadz (@Hadzilla) December 10, 2012
Atheists: Who is more likely to use law to mandate your belief in their dogma – Christians or liberals? Think about it over your 16 oz soda.
— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) December 10, 2012
Who Would Win? Darth Vader vs Gandalf the White
Innominatus [High Praise!] is asking his readers “Who would win in a fight between Darth Vader and Gandalf the White?”, and I thought maybe you Moon Nukers should get a chance to weigh in.
I’m saying Vader because Gandalf’s pretty lame without his magic stick, and that thing doesn’t look lightsaber-proof.
Book Review
Here’s a nice review of my book How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome
And I hope everyone has bought and read my book, because a lot of it will by my platform for my 2016 presidential run. Especially the hippie punching.
10 Good Things About Liberals
Our Awful Baby Names
Just look at this list of the top baby names from 2012 and it’s no wonder our kids are a bunch of sissies and weirdos. I first read it as Aiden being the most popular girl’s name before I realized that’s supposed to be a boy’s name. Really, about half the boy’s name makes me without knowing anything else about them want to give them a wedgie. And for girl’s names… Reese? Are people naming their girls after John Connor’s dad? And Mackenzie? Was Bud Light pitch-dog Spuds MacKenzie really that popular? And where did this idea of giving girls random last names as a first name start?
We need people to have solid names like “Frank” (not on the top 100) if we want this country to succeed.
And don’t point out how I named my daughter Buttercup. That name is adorable… and it’s her middle name so it doesn’t count.
Straight Line of the Day: With Every EBT Food Stamp Card, You Now Get…
If Santa Were a Democrat
A majority think Santa is a Democrat? That’s stupid. A Democrat Santa would be awful.
DEMOCRAT SANTA
* To fund his Christmas gift giving, he’d spend the other 364 days of the year mugging people.
* If you left out cookies for him, he’d add you to Michelle Obama’s naughty list.
* The whole point of his gift giving would just be to get you to reelect him to his cushy Santa position.
* Instead of giving coal to bad kids, he’d take away their parents coal-related jobs.
* Main gift for girls: Abortion vouchers.
* No presents for any children unless he was allowed to raise tax on the rich for no particular reason.
* If you asked him for a Red Ryder BB gun, he’d report you to the police.
* He wouldn’t enter any home than displayed a manger on the front yard.
* It wouldn’t just be his outfit that was red.
Cartoon of the day – unions
[Source: Lisa Benson – GoComics]
When I think unions and automakers, I think Michigan. And Michigan — particularly Detroit, home of the automakers — has had some serious troubles.
But, Detroit — and Michigan — aren’t the only places vehicles are made. Just up the road from Columbus, in West Point, Georgia, Kia makes vehicles.
There are other vehicles made in other states, of course, but I bring up Kia for a reason. Georgia is a right-to-work state. That is, you don’t have to belong to a union. You can be, but if you’re not, you aren’t denied the right to work.
Earlier this year, I was heading to work, and got behind a vehicle with a Michigan tag that had an Obama sticker on it. I ended up behind that vehicle all the way to the company parking garage.
That’s when I realized that someone from Michigan, where the policies of the left have made it so difficult to get or keep a job, had moved down south to work in Georgia. And, had brought their politics with them.
Those same politics that made unions so powerful and government so big and had brought the economy up there down? Yeah, they wanted to spread that around here.
Some people just don’t get it.
Random Thoughts: Empty
I had no thoughts, random or otherwise. I have failed you. Any of you have any thoughts? Probably about Christmas. Who care about politics when it’s near Christmas; I want Santa to bring me presents. Buttercup was too scared to sit on Santa’s lap and ask for presents so that probably means more presents for me.
So what do you want for Christmas?