Fire Every Editor At the New York Times…

For allowing a reporter to use the phrase “high capacity ammunition“.

The commentary at The Real Revo [High Praise!] nails it:

It’s like listening to your high school girlfriend talk about cars: “Is my brother’s 351 engine faster than your 350 engine?”

Or your grandma talk about drugs: “Are you kids shooting up marijuana?”

Or grandpa talk about the Internet: “How much does it cost to get on to the wicky-pedia to deliver Eddie and Pearl an email?”

Or your sister talk about tools: “I need a screwdriver with an X on the end but I don’t know if I need metric or the other kind.”

You may now begin substituting the phrase “New York Times reporter” in blonde jokes.

Joe Biden Understands Gun Control

[High Praise! to I’m a Man! I’m 41!]

I’m Going to Start Printing My Own Postage Stamps, And I’ll Get Away With It

[High Praise! to Call Me Stormy]


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #177)

The title will make sense at about the 1:15 mark.

Oh, and if this is how the post office works, just wait until the government is running your healthcare.

You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Obama sent a post card from Hawaii that said…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Still Less Creepy Than Those Invisible Cop Drunk Driving PSAs

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

[title reference link]

Link of the Day: You Should Completely Support This Agenda for Common Sense Control

[High Praise! to The Gormogons]

You need to send this list to EVERY news organization in the country. Including Fox, because they’ll get the joke and it’ll make their day.

Helping the Media With Their Obsessions

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Is there an app for that?

© iThinQware, Inc.

There’s now an app where you can report crimes in Marion, Virginia. It’s called iWatchMarion.

Now, don’t go being all silly and downloading it and then reporting a bunch of crazy stuff. First, that’s the wrong thing to do. And, if that’s not a good enough reason, keep in mind that it knows where you are. Yes, it tracks the person that submits the report!

Because iWatch Marion uses global positioning technology, the system intelligently forwards information to the Howard County Police Department based on where the handheld device is physically located at any given moment.

Yeah, this whole “See Something, Say Something” thing kinda bothers me. Oh, sure, I have no problem with neighborhood watch programs. One got Trayvon Martin off the streets, after all. But anything from the Department of Homeland Security — one of the most useless government departments, if not the most useless — can’t be all good. Or any good.

In fact, the maker of this app has a whole series of similar apps for different areas. And, like I said, something about it bothers me.

But, having said that, I do like the idea of reporting criminal activity. Where’s the iWatchObama app?

Will 2016 See This Presidential First?

[High Praise! to American Digest]

Publisher’s comment:

Publisher Luis Venegas talked to Dazed Digital about the thought behind “The Candydate”, as the clever coverline reads:
“I especially love the cover story, which for the first time isn’t a super-popular star, but a fabulous, beautiful black transwoman channeling a politician who looks pretty much like Michelle Obama. I remember back in early 2007 when the Democratic Party’s nominees were narrowed down between two ‘controversial’ stereotypes never before seen for presidency: a black man, Barack Obama; and a woman, Hillary Rodham Clinton. At that time, I thought, ‘when will the time come when these archaic walls break down and the White House will be occupied by, for example, a black, transsexual woman?'”

Weird thing is, I would totally vote for her if she were running on a platform of lower taxes & smaller government.

You know why?

No boob belt.

Anyway, this picture makes me very happy because you KNOW liberals find it insulting and demeaning to Michelle Obama (which it is), but they can’t say a word about it because transsexuals are a “more equal” protected class, and calling out this bit of vile effrontery would classify the critic as homophobic.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

[/schadenfreude]

Maybe he just wants his stapler

So, Eric Boswell, the assistant secretary of state for diplomatic security, who resigned in the aftermath of the Benghazi massacre is still working for the State Department? That’s what one report says.

Maybe he’s like Milton from Office Space who was laid off but kept coming to work.

Nah, that would mean it’s a comedy of errors.

And there’s nothing funny whatsoever about what happened in Benghazi.

I Think Everyone Here Will Go With the Second Option

[High Praise! to Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]

You had me at “gift of bacon”

Can we get one of these for politicians?

The old joke is that if you don’t know what Web browser you’re using, then you’re using Internet Explorer. It’s funny because it’s true.

However, there are things about browsers, you browser in fact, that you may not know.

Lots of people use Chrome. It’s cross-platform (that means I can use it on my Windows machine as well as on my Mac) and is a pretty good browser. Not perfect, but it’s good.

Well, turns out that some developers have taken advantage of situations and have been installing extensions without the user’s full knowledge and consent. Kinda like, “Hey, trust me!”

Google, who makes the Chrome browser, is clamping down. Beginning with Chrome 25 (the current version is 23 as I write this), they won’t allow silent extension installations.

Previously, in Chrome, you had to install an app to see what all was with it. Kinda like Obamacare.

Well, with Chrome, the extensions will still be installed, but disabled with the option to remove them.

Kinda like what we need to do with Obamacare.

I do so wish someone had let the uninstall of Obama happen last month. If I found out who clicked cancel, there’ll be hell to pay!

Straight Line of the Day: On the Cover of the Final Print Edition of Newsweek…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

On the cover of the final print edition of Newsweek…

Why not try a solution that always works?

Lots of bad news about the storms this Christmas. Down in Mobile, early reports of three dead, and the storms are moving into the northeast.

I’m wondering when there will be a call to ban storms.

Cartoon of the Day – Kick the Can


[Source: Michael Rameriz – GoComics]

Remember that problem about which it was decided that we’d deal with on another day? Those days are numbered.

Did you get everything you wanted?

© 2003 Warner Bros.

Remember the scene from “A Christmas Story,” after all the opening of the presents, where the Old Man and Ralphie’s Mom are sitting on the couch with Ralphie between them while Randy is passed out amid the trash next to the Frankenstein’s Monster mask with the zeppelin under his arm?

The Old Man asks Ralphie “Did you get everything you wanted?” Turns out Ralphie didn’t. After all, for the previous 1:19:47, Ralphie has been scheming to get an official Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle. And there wasn’t one.

Only, the Old Man pointed out to Ralphie that there was one other thing behind the desk, which turned out to be that very gift.

Well, I didn’t get what I wanted for Christmas. We have the same old president. And no one has pointed out a brand new president boxed up behind the desk.

How about you? Did you get what you wanted? Or were you disappointed by not getting that one special thing?