Thanks to the “Isn’t That Lovely?” law, only outlaws have Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulators (sometimes pronounced “Illudium Pu-36” or “Uranium Pu-36”).
Those little green men are kinda sensitive about it, though, Oppo. They prefer to be called “Sovereign Citizens of Mars” (aka, the “SCOM”) – something we’ll have to learn to respect and emulate. They live by a document called “The Rights Of Man Martians” which they swear wasn’t stolen from Thomas Paine.
…Red States are better. Imagine a Red Planet!
… if you want to be around to tell your children about The Earth Shattering Kaboom.
…I’m only 37 in Mars years.
…the Martian EPA will rake in trillions, nay, BAZILLIONS in carbon dioxide taxes.
Global warming would be a good thing.
Mars gravity 38% of Earth’s. Instant weight loss!
… no Amway or Herbalife distributors, no telemarketer calls, longer life expectancy (if you currently live in, say, Detroit), no TV commercials…
..: it’s a dry heat.
No Democrats there yet.
…land is cheaper than the Ferguson business district.
One good reason to go live on Mars…
a lot harder for illegal aliens to show up.
One good reason to go live on Mars…
if you think Earth girls are easy, you should see Martian ones.
One good reason to go live on Mars…
If you are a girl Matt Damon can’t get picky.
One good reason to go live on Mars…
If you are a guy Matt Damon can’t get picky either.
“Global warming would be a good thing.”
However, you will need to worry about Marble Warming.
We can finally tell uber-fool Sheila Jackson-Lee where Neil Armstrong planted the flag.
…the little green men there will work for practically nothing.
…you’ll save time on yardwork, particularly weeding.
…for awhile, you can escape one of two things: death or taxes.
. . . you can leave a carbon footprint on TWO planets.
Less traffic than even South Dakota.
Warmer winters than in South Dakota.
tasty, tasty buggalos
Chance to marry into the Wrong family.
…you can keep hitting the snooze button for 37 minutes and 22 seconds.
. . . is that Bill DeBlasio will never be elected mayor there
. . . is that Barack Obama will never be elected President there
Thanks to the “Isn’t That Lovely?” law, only outlaws have Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulators (sometimes pronounced “Illudium Pu-36” or “Uranium Pu-36”).
… is because we already know what the definition of ISS is.
“One? I’ll give you five: One, Two, Three, Four, Five.”
– Lucy van Pelt
… is ishboww*
(*If Hillary, Sanders, Biden, or Warren Win)
. . . every single thing you do despoils an absolutely pristine environment, forever. BU WAH HA HA HA!
…the aliens!
@30 Jimmy: Or, to find someone that Jerry Brown is willing to call an alien.
Those little green men are kinda sensitive about it, though, Oppo. They prefer to be called “Sovereign Citizens of Mars” (aka, the “SCOM”) – something we’ll have to learn to respect and emulate. They live by a document called “The Rights Of
ManMartians” which they swear wasn’t stolen from Thomas Paine.It’s so hot and arid there. These are the climes that dry men’s soles….
Glad you made it back from the stormy Pacific!
…is that it would cut down on my commute…
no government, yet!
stranger in a strange land
no need for fences, only the best and brightest will ever get there
Anthropogenic action is the only thing that will reverse martian global cooling
…a comet crashing into the planet would be an improvement.
…the Plutarkians have been ejected.