After looking over all the candidates for President, many have come to the conclusion that the best to hope for is a meteor to end it all. But even that’s not a simple choice to make. It turns out there are two major meteor candidates:
And that’s our poll question: Which meteor are you most looking forward to ending it all?
Which meteor are you most looking forward to ending it all?
- Sweet Meteor of Death (78%, 144 Votes)
- Giant Meteor (12%, 22 Votes)
- Other (Provide details in the comments) (10%, 18 Votes)
Total Voters: 184
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The rainbow unicorn pooping skittles meteor!
Sweet!
Meatier bacon meteor.
I vote for the cleansing comet of cosmic calamity
I prefer a combination ticket of both. One could take over for the other in the event of an incomplete devastation.
don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.
also:
Because I am a responsible voter, I decided to do some research on the candidates. Turns out meteors are harmless. They burn up entirely in the atmosphere. All Flash and no effect, much like our current rulers. Ergo, I am holding out for an awesome meteorite or nuclear war.
This may be shallow of me, but SMOD’s running a more consistently reliable campaign on Twitter, which makes me think he’ll be more a consistently reliable kinetic energy delivery device and planetary devastator.
#TeamSMOD
So! All these times we’ve been promised sweet destruction by meteor and what have we gotten? Misses! Or sure they hit Jupiter but how has that helped us? I’m tired of voting for candidates that don’t deliver.
Perhaps a few small meteors that kill only a few people, if they’re the right few people.
I selected Other as my None of the Above vote. Meteors of various sizes along with other astronomical death bringers are inherently biased toward rich, white people as this is the only demographic that can afford to build and stock the deep earth bunkers needed to survive the event.
Vogon constructor fleet. No fuss, no muss.
I’m going for Cthulhu 2016 because I am tired of picking the lesser of two evils and no lives matter.
Tunguska-level Meteor of Death
Minnesota Fats Meteor, we don’t have to break and our destruction will have a little English on it.
Wormwood.
(Maybe my sense of humor isn’t activated by this question?)
A vote for Wormwood is a vote for Giant Meteor!
If death seems preferable to some particular person becoming president you may be doing this whole “Conservatism” thing wrong.
You do realize this is a humor Website, right? And this post was written in a humorous vein, right?
It was? Just another voting disappointment for me then. I might as well vote the Whig Party.
Oh, no, I wasn’t clear. Your votes matter. Just like in real life. Uh huh. Yep.
All my votes matter?
Blog lives matter
IT IS??!! I hope you at least have the decency to be serious about nuking the moon, ’cause if not, I’m leaving.
Oh, that’s for real.
Seriously though, I’m getting the feeling I fell for it. *sigh* My bad.