[Rapper Who Is Very Concerned With Password Security] (Viewer #955,139)

I could take my password security a lot more seriously if I weren’t the only person who ever touched my laptop. And I also don’t take it out of my house and leave it logged in while sitting unattended at a table at Starbucks, which I assume – from the way I’m forced to keep updating my passwords to something else I can’t remember and have to write down, and I sure hope nobody goes into my file cabinet and peeps into the very fat file labeled “Passwords” – is what passes for password security with everyone else on the planet.