[High Praise! to The Daily Gouge]

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Some of my best friends are black cats.
…because if you (have/had) ever picked cotton, you (have/had) to get your cotton-picking hands off them.
Statue?
My ancestors in all likelihood owned slaves. Very likely the slaves they owned were the ancestors of the English, Scottish and Irish. My ancestors were vikings.
My ancestors were serfs, I demand Restitution!
I demand resti-tuna.
Here…have some tofu…it’s better for you…