Don’t know what’s going on. On one side is an orange buffoon. On the other is a bedazzled cowboy hat. In middle, scary general man.

#WhyIWrite It’s a lossy compression algorithm for transmitting thoughts and ideas.

Past NRA: “We have to defend our God-given rights.”
Current NRA: “We have to defend our obnoxious, orange dummy.”

A great costume for Ted Cruz would be to not wear a costume and say he’s going as the Zodiac Killer.

It’s right to believe the wealthy don’t deserve their money. It’s wrong to believe someone else does.

The line of Luke singing “I’ll be playing this part ’till I’m old and gray” in Weird Al Yankovic’s “Yoda” is quite prescient now.
Another prescient Yankovic song: “Theme from Rocky XIII (Rye or the Kaiser)” where an aging Rocky opens a restaurant.

I wrote a list of the top 25 conservatives to follow on Twitter, but it’s just my name written 25 times.

We need to put colored bands around everyone in the #Resistance to denote exactly how much resistance they give.

I don’t really like the conservative label anymore, but I can’t even stop myself from calling me that.
I’m for conserving things that are good and radically changing things that are bad.

If someone is smiling, you know something problematic is going on. If someone is laughing, you have a hate crime on your hands.

I was afraid Ghosted was going to be like Powerless – great cast and premise but writing not there – but last episode was really good.
I was sticking with the show just because I liked the two leads, and I felt rewarded. Hopefully it keeps up.

My 7yo daughter is trying to talk me into taking Friday off to play the new Mario game, but I’m probably more mature than that.
Since I’m not a little kid, if I took the day off, it would be to binge Stranger Things 2.

Get all your blabbing about Trump nonsense out of your system because come Friday we’re only talking about Mario and Stranger Things.

Netflix’s Mindhunter was a lot like their Daredevil in that Mindhunter doesn’t get his costume from the comics until the last episode.

I paid for my own Russian dossier and it told me that oil, natural gas, metals, and timber account for more than 80% of Russian exports.

I’m incapable of getting angry at someone else being able to keep more of their money. Seems real greedy to be otherwise.

Amazon Watches You While You Sleep is a new service where someone quietly enters in the middle of the night to watch you while you sleep.
You are already enrolled.

Amazon Search is the new service where police officers can enter homes without a warrant on the pretext of delivering a package.

I feel like one of these days I should see a Madea just to be a part of culture and know what that’s all about.